Friday, January 29, 2016

Another “Iowa Caucus Update” (With Only Three More Days To Go)

Hawkeye Bureau Chief Jan Michelson says Thursday night worked out pretty much as The Blower predicted, with Republican Front Runner Donald Trump boycotting the Fox News Ambush, dominating the news media with his own event attended by the last two Republican Iowa Caucus Winners, and being declared winner of the Republican “Debate,” even though he wasn’t there. And after devoting nearly ten minutes of air time to Donald Trump’s boycott of the Republican debate on Thursday’s evening newscasts (rather than preview the debate itself), on Friday morning, the three broadcast networks offered over 21 minutes of political coverage continuing to hype Trump’s absence while only managing seven minutes for the GOP contenders who participated in the event.

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:

It’s none other Matt Drudge, publisher of the Drudge Report, who now appears to be following The Blower’s suggestion to ask his readers “Who Is Your Presidential Pick For President,” instead of the totally meaningless question “Who Do You Think Won The Debate.”

That’s why The Blower, which still refuses to allow its publication to be linked on Drudge’s web page with all those other on-line publications nobody really reads, still agreed to permit Matthew Nathan “Matt” Drudge to be our Conservative Agenda Guest Editor and choose three hype-worthy items plus a Quickie to hype for today’s E-dition from those submitted by our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Plagiarizing Contributors.

“MORE RACIAL HEALING” submitted by one of the High Fiving White Guys

Saint Peter was sitting at the Gates when three guys from Ferguson arrived wearing dark hoodies and sagging pants. St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

St. Peter goes over to God’s chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.

God says to Peter: “How many times do I have to tell you? You can’t be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!”

St. Peter goes back to the Pearly Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God’s chambers and says, “Well, they’re gone.”

“The three guys wearing hoodies?” asked God.

“No. The Pearly Gates.”

“CLASS WARFARE AT ITS BEST” sent in by John Galt

The folks who are getting the free stuff don’t like The folks who are paying for the free stuff, because The folks who are paying for the free stuff can no longer afford to pay for both the free stuff and their own stuff.

And the folks who are paying for the free stuff want the free stuff to stop.

And the folks who are getting the free stuff want even more Free stuff on top of the free stuff they are already getting!

Now… The people who are forcing the people who pay for the free stuff have told the people who are RECEIVING the free stuff that the people who are PAYING for the Free stuff are being mean, prejudiced, and racist.

So… The people who are GETTING the free stuff have been convinced they need to hate the people who are paying for the Free stuff by the people who are forcing some people to pay for their free stuff and giving them the free stuff in the first place.

We have let the free stuff giving go on for so long that there are now more people getting free stuff than paying for the Free stuff.

Now understand this. All great democracies have committed financial suicide somewhere between 200 and 250 years after being founded. The reason? The voters figured out they could vote themselves money from the treasury by electing people who promised to give them money from the treasury in exchange for electing them.

The United States officially became a Republic in 1776, 238 years ago. The number of people now getting free stuff outnumber the people paying for the free stuff. Failure to change that spells the end of the United States as we know it.

ELECTION 2016 IS COMING
A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves!
I’M 100% for PASSING THIS ON !!!
For all our sake PLEASE Take a Stand!!!

Borders: Closed!
Language: English only
Culture: God, Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!
Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare!

NO freebies to: Non-Citizens!
Only 86% will send this on. Should be 100%..
What will you do?

“MY BUILDING PERMIT” sent in by an Angry Andersonian

I applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100 feet tall and 400 feet wide, with 12 gun turrets at various heights, and windows all over the place and a loud outside entertainment sound system that was going to entertain the whole neighborhood. It would have parking for 200 cars, and I was going to paint it snot green with pink trim.

The Anderson Zoning Board told me; “Forget it…IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN!”

So, I sent in the application again, but this time I called it a “Mosque.”

Work starts on Monday.

AND A QUICKIE from Hillary’s Campaign

Friend —

If you’re on my side before the Iowa caucus, there’s one way you can show it right now: Chip in $1.

It’s not about the money. The truth is, we are in the fight of our life to win the Iowa caucuses on Monday and the New Hampshire primary the week after that.

And once people start caucusing and voting, it’s a full on sprint until we win the nomination.

So more than any budget concerns or spending charts or polls that go up and down, what really matters is knowing that you’re with me from the start.
Thank you so much,

Hillary

These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.

MORE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA POLITICAL CARTOONS

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 243 different websites for the production of today’s Blower.

TODAY’S “LIBERAL LIARS” AWARD GOES TO

Joe Biden. On Thursday, Obama’s Doofus Vice President Vice President likened the Republican presidential race to a “gift from the Lord” for DemocRATS trying to win control of the House and Senate. Photo Shop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper captured the moment. (You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.)

Whistleblower Web Poll

Today, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said they expect to learn from watching the Iowa Caucuses:
(A) If Trump Win Iowa, It’s All Over: 2%
(B) Liberal Media just used it as another excuse to bash Republicans: 1%
(C) Cost-per-vote will be astronomical: 3%
(D) Cost-per-delegate will be even more astronomical: 94%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

IOWA CAUCUS HOT LINE

e-mail your presidential preferences today.

Some first-in-the-nation items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally first-in-the-nation items subscribers.

Whistleblower Video of the Day

2016 Election (Featuring Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders) Rap Video

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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Whistleblower Newswire

Some of the News They Seem to Lose

Just Another “Guest Column” E-dition