Yesterday in Patronage County, everybody was watching the news about all those “resignations” in the Obama Administration, and our three Corrupt County Commissioners were updating their Obama Scapegoat Scorecards.
“Around here we always let people who screw up ‘resign,’ ” said Commissioner Filch. “It’s the least we can do for people who are covering up for our own mistakes.”
“All those dumbed-down people who elected Obama twice are really stupid, they’ll believe anything,” explained Commissioner Swindle.
“Don’t you think people understand it’s not really about our scapegoats’ mistakes, they get to ‘resign’ because we need somebody to blame?” asked Commissioner Pilfer.
“Remember when Dwight D. Eisenhower said, ‘The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions,” said Commissioner Swindle. “A good scapegoat is even better than finding a solution to the problem.”
“Shouldn’t a good leader take a little more than his share of the blame, and little less than his share of the credit?” asked Commissioner Filch.
“If at first you don’t succeed, blame your predecessor,” explained Commissioner Swindle.
“We’ve always been pretty lucky about that in Patronage County, our employees have always been willing to ‘resign’ to cover up our mistakes,” said Commissioner Pilfer.
“Of course,” said Commissioner Swindle. “We make it part of their job description.”
This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols