Sunday, October 26, 2014
The Whistleblower Week in Review
- OUR NUMBER ONE STRANGE CAMPAIGN AD OF 2014 was Rob Maness’ “Gator”: Also in the “odd use of animals” genre, TEA Party hopeful Rob Maness highlighted one of Louisiana’s most feared creatures in his first ad. “Here in Louisiana, you learn to be tough. One moment of weakness, and the alligators could eat you alive,” Maness says. In between gator chomps and footage of him at a shooting range, the candidate talks of how he would cut spending and repeal ObamaCare. “Louisiana needs a senator who will stand up to the career politicians — and the alligators,” the retired Air Force colonel says as he ties up the snout of a gator.
- OUR NUMBER TWO STRANGE CAMPAIGN AD OF 2014 was Kelly Kultala’s “Naked Truth.”: DemocRAT Kelly Kultala, who is running a long-shot campaign against Rep. Kevin Yoder (R), brings up allegations that the congressman went skinny dipping in the Sea of Galilee during a 2012 official trip. People without clothing and strategically placed objects weigh in. “The naked truth is Yoder voted to cut Medicare for seniors,” says one person in the ad, while another says he “stripped education funding for Kansas schools.”
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE STRANGE CAMPAIGN AD OF 2014 was Ohio Republican candidate J.D. Winteregg’s “When the Moment is Right.” There’s long been snickering in Washington about Speaker John Boehner’s (R-Ohio) last name, but his TEA Party challenger took the insinuations to a new level in an ad this spring. J.D. Winteregg’s minute-long spot is a play on the ads for erectile dysfunction drugs that play frequently on television.
- MONDAY in our Official “Lawyer Hunting Season” E-dition, The Blower said, “Don’t Kill Lawyers, People Kill Lawyers!”
Real Lawyer Jokes
Lately there’s been a lot of talk about lawyers in The Blower. A lot of elected officials and politicians we make fun of are lawyers. Some of our best snitches are lawyers. Many of our subscribers are lawyers, not to mention those who claim to be our Faux Facebook “Friends.” Some Former Presidents of the American Bar Association have even been known to have read The Blower. A few members of the League of Women Vipers might even be lady lawyers. And some of the people who file frivolous lawsuits against The Blower are also lawyers (who have fools for clients), at least until they might be suspended or disbarred.
No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Shakespeare’s “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” That is, except members of the Whistleblower Legal Dream Team and most members of that Cabal Still out to destroy “Crazy Eric” Deters, Esquire. Cabal Of NoKY Attorneys Still Out To Destroy Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters, Including Lovely Lisa Wells (The Attorney Who Replaced Crazy Eric On WLW Hate Radio).
At the same time, many attorneys have commented about items in The Blower’s 20th Anniversary Editions we published four years ago.
- TUESDAY in our Special “Ebola Panic” E-dition, The Blower said, “In Obama’s America, Panic is Spreading Much Faster Than the Disease!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Obama’s Clueless Center For Anything Except Disease Control doesn’t know what the hell it’s doing. Either that or they’re lying to you more than just plain incompetent. —Judge Jeanine Pirro, From Saturday’s Opening Statement about Obama and CDC Fail on Ebola Containment
Maybe the president has figured out how to infect ISIS terrorists with Ebola so he won’t have to make a decision about ground troops. —Bernie Goldberg, writing about The Midterm Elections and the Idiot Vote
- TUESDAY in our Special “School Tax Scam” E-dition, The Blower said “Do the Math, Suckers, Do the Math”
Looking For That $100,000 House
Whenever Tax-and-Spenders at the Forest Gump School Board want to steal more of your money, like with that Humongous $103 million Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million, they do two things. First, they flim-flam you by telling how much the tax hike would be on a mythical “$100,000 house,” and then they conveniently forget to remind you that YOUR increase (if you would bother to figure out how much that was) would be on top of what YOU ARE ALREADY PAYING EACH YEAR. And they never tell you to compute the NUMBER OF YEARS.
- TUESDAY in our Special “Fools for Schools” E-dition, The Blower quoted Thomas Tusser’s “A Fool and His Money Are Soon Parted”
Top Ten List
Today we have the Top Ten Reasons Conservative Anderson Trustee Josh Gerth is speaking at rallies in favor of that Humongous $103 million Forrest Gump School District Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million:
- I forgot
- The dog ate it
- She told me she loved me
- I did it to help the children
- The Devil made me do it
- I just wanted to be loved–is there anything wrong with that?
- I’m a RINO
- I was framed
- This whole thing is just one big terrible mistake
…and the Number One Reason Conservative Anderson Trustee Josh Gerth is speaking at rallies in favor of that Humongous $103 million Forrest Gump School District Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million is… Alex T. and the guys at the Hamilton County RINO Headquarters said nobody would ever find out.
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Local Politics” E-dition, The Blower said “It’s Not As Interesting, But It’s Closer To Cover!”
Yesterday at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher why The Blower ran two special reports about The Forrest Gump School District’s Humongous $103 million Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million on top of the family budget busting amount those suckers are already spending on school taxes.
First there was a Special “School Tax Scam” E-dition, where we went looking for that bogus $100,000 house Tax-And Spenders always use whenever they’re trying to steal more of your money, and we showed voters how to figure out how much this year’s “just another feel good tax hike for the children” was going to cost them, on top of what those suckers are already paying using our Double Dipping Disingenuous DemocRAT Auditor’s web site, because next year after his re-election, you’ll get a tax increase whether you voted for it or not when his drive by appraisers jack up your real estate taxes one more time. [SEE THAT E-DITION HERE]
Then in our Special “Fools For Schools” E-dition, we featured the Top Ten Reasons Conservative Anderson Trustee Josh Gerth was speaking at rallies in favor of that Humongous $103 million Forrest Gump School District Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million. One of Josh’s fellow trustees came to Josh’s defense, saying “Ward, You’re being a bit hard on the Beaver.” But an Angry Andersonian remembered when he was called about the “survey” last year as to whether he preferred the $100 million levy or the $170 million levy. When he answered, “I don’t prefer either,” the person responded, “That’s not a choice. Your choices are either $100 or $170 million.” Perhaps over-taxed payers will suggest another idea in 13 more days. [SEE THAT E-DITION HERE]
And by the way the Web Site for “A Better Way for Forest Hills” is located HERE.
- THURSDAY, in our Special “Angry Andersonian” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s Just Another Caucasian Suburban American Community”
All About Anderson
Yesterday at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why so many of the “Suburban References” in The Blower were about Anderson Township, which claims to be conveniently located less than 15 minutes from downtown Cincinnati, with superior neighborhoods, excellent schools, preserved green spaces, and diverse park and recreational offerings that make this community unique. It’s also easily accessible to the Greater Cincinnati-Northern Kentucky International Airport, 25 minutes away (but only seven minutes away if Kane’s Good Friend, Fellow Anderson Resident/ Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen is doing the driving.)
“Soreheads in the Suburbs in are pretty much the same in Anderson as they are in Greed or Sycamoron Township or in far away Suburban Oshkosh, wherever the hell that is,” Kane explained. “Folks hereabouts have the same problems, the same RINO politicians like Josh Gerth who publicly support humongous school tax hikes along with County Over-Taxed Payers’ Support for the City-Owned Union Terminal, a nearby poorly-managed urban area like Cincinnati to make fun of, and even some of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice as neighbors, although thankfully not so many.”
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Whistleblower Education Editor Rod Sparechild, who says the sneaky part of the Forrest Gump Schools’ Tax Hike Scam is the .5 mil “permanent improvement” levy tacked on to the bond levy. It would be PERMANENT, not 32.5 years.
This would be a NEW TAX to continue to maintain nine buildings even though enrollment will be only 75% of what it was when the district added the extra facilities fifty years ago.
Which is why The Blower is honored to choose the distinguished Educator from Decatur to be this week’s guest editor (With help from Educational Blower Babes like A Better Way for Forest Hills Spokesperson Elizabeth Barber and School Board Member Julie Bissinger, the lone dissenting vote on the Forrest Gump School Board’s decision to put that Humongous $103 million Forrest Gump School District Tax Hike on the ballot) and choose three educational items plus an educational Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors that you probably won’t see reported in your Morning Fishwrap.
- SATURDAY in Special “Stupid Political Ideas” E-dition, The Blower said, “Aided and Abetted by their Willing Accomplices in the Press!”
They Ought to Have a Special Section in The Fishwrap
- YESTERDAY’S WINNER of our “Liberals Say the Stupidest Things Award” was Disgraced DemoCRAT State Senator Kearney, who had to drop out of his race for Lt. Governor just because folks wouldn’t cut him some slack for being a little late on a few tax payments for his ridiculous suggestion of renaming the Norwood Lateral after Obama.
Finger Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us what that Road to Nowhere might look like.
Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin says you’d EXPECT a road named for the likes of Obama in a t’rd world place like Tanzania.
But name a road in the United States of America after a lawless occupier of our Oval Office? After an empty suit who scorns the office he occupies? Who violates the Presidential Oath of Office every day? After one whose string-pullers and teleprompter scripters would “transform” this Nation into another Tanzania? No damn way!
And our Compassionate Conservative says “Senator Kearney wants to name the Norwood Lateral the Obama highway! Are you kidding? What has he done for Norwood? How about renaming MLK the Hussein Obama Highway? The Blower supposes there is no story too stupid for Feckless Female Fishwrapper Sherry Coolidge to write about. Just the kind of silly stuff all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, must like.
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
LONE WOLF TERORIST ATTACKS
According to Newsmax, the brutal hatchet attack on New York City police by a self-radicalized Navy veteran is only the beginning of a tidal wave of terrorist attacks about to descend on Americans. Terrorism experts say that the assault on the four rookie officers by Zale Thompson, 32, of Queens, is not an isolated incident, but one of several jihadist “lone wolf” attacks that already have occurred, and a terrifying harbinger of the horrors that are to come. “This is just the beginning — there will be more attacks,” said former New York City Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik.
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, Democrats In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards:
Other Liberal Agenda Items will have to wait too, including: PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” AWARD
Delusional DemocRAT Hillary Clinton had her “you didn’t build that” moment on Friday when she said, “Businesses don’t create jobs.” Don’t tell anyone this, but there are some rumors in certain circles that Hillary Clinton might be considering a run for president in 2016. Speaking at an event in Massachusetts today, the former secretary of state seemed to be trying to head off possible competitor Elizabeth Warren by hijacking her line that it’s not corporations and businesses that create jobs.
The Feck Stops Here
You didn’t have to do far to find where the Feck Stopped at The Fishwrap this week.
No, it wasn’t for the meaningless gift of a guest column to Fred Kundrata, Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka’s Candidate for Congress in Ohio’s First Congressional District, running against Hereditary First District Republican Congressman Stet Chabothead, without at least mentioning it was the same Fred Kundrata who got only 3% of the vote in 2012 running as a Republican against “Warrior Podiatrist “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup in Ohio’s Second Congressional District.
Maybe the gals had heard about The Blower’s August 24 Guest Columnist J. Billington Bulworth. That Warren Beatty movie character was a suicidally disillusioned liberal politician who put a contract out on himself and took the opportunity to be bluntly honest with his voters by affecting the rhythms and speech of hip-hop music and culture.
Bulworth’s suggestion to improve race relations was classic, and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane is now “Going Bulworth” by adopting Bulworth’s suggestion as his very own: “What we need is a voluntary, free-spirited, open-ended program of procreative racial deconstruction. Everybody just gotta keep fuckin’ everybody ’til they’re all the same color.” And several weeks later, The Fishwrap finally followed up.
Coming Next Week
Pete Rose’s 2014 Local Election Betting Guide
This will be the “Official Voter Guide for the 2014 Elections.” Any other Voter Guide you might see anywhere else will surely be a fake.
Forrest Gump Schools October Surprise # 482
Guess how The Blower would be advising our Persons of Consequence to vote on The Forrest Gump School District’s Humongous $103 million Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million on top of the family budget-busting amount those suckers are already spending on school taxes.
Sign Wars Update: Another “HELL No on Issue 8”
Friday night, every national news organization in America couldn’t wait to report that Republican U.S. Senate Minority Leader Bitch McConnell had just “lent himself” $1.8 Million to buy a few more attack ads against Ditzy DemocRAT Alison Wondergam Grimes during the last week on the 2014 Campaign.
Alison’s Campaign blasted out several more e-mails: “Despite the millions he’s already received from the likes of Karl Rove and the Koch brothers, McConnell is reaching into his own pockets to fund his flailing campaign. Mitch is getting desperate. Help us fight back now – click here to make an immediate donation and ensure Alison has the resources she needs to defeat Mitch and win in November.”
Our Sarcastic Sage says, “We’re sure that $5 they were asking from us would do the trick.”
Obviously, The Fishwrap’s endorsement was a real disappointment. Skaggie Maggie’s All-Vagina Idiotorial Board didn’t do Alison any favors with comments like: “As for Grimes, it’s been difficult to break through the rehearsed attacks and get a sense of who she truly is and what she stands for. With a thin record of public service, she needed to deliver an impassioned argument for why an inexperienced newcomer deserves a shot at such an important job. Instead, voters got a campaign that was carefully packaged and tailored to meet focus-group expectations.” [READ THE REST OF IT HERE]
Whistleblower Guest Column and Election Letter Policy
Here are The Blower’s guidelines for elections-related guest columns and letters to the editor. Columns must be no more than 100 words, but letters may be up to 57 words. All letters and columns are subject to extreme editing. Columns must include a color nude photo (jpg format) and a complete background check of the author. For levies and ballot issues, we will run one column opposed to the issue and one column against. Columns should be from official anti-levy groups.
More Politics Unusual
- OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Kimmel’s “The annual Wastebook report was released today. This is an annual report that lists what Senator Tom Coburn describes as wasteful government spending. I didn’t read it. I’m waiting for the movie to come out. Our government spent $387,000 giving rabbits a daily massage. That doesn’t sound wasteful to me. That sounds adorable. It’s kind of ironic for a member of Congress to be complaining about government waste. I think we spend around $5 billion every year on Congress. We don’t seem to be getting anything out of that, right? What we got is a report on how much money they waste, so thank you.
- LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #302 is to tell a joke:
Q: What do Vanilla Ice, Eminem, and Barack Obama have in common?
A: They’ve all made careers pretending to be black men.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says, “Forget the upcoming elections. Does it really matter who wins? Fewer voters than ever think either major political party has a plan for the future, and most say neither party represents the American people. Voters expect incumbents to win because election rules are rigged in their favor, but have Americans had it with the two-party system? [READ MORE HERE]
- THIS WEEK IN PATRONAGE COUNTY, Patronage County Commissioners were once again breaking the Sunshine Law when they were engaged in an illegal meeting where county business was being discussed. “I’m afraid the Patronage County Schools Tax Hike is going down to defeat,” said Commissioner Filch. “Somehow the voters have caught on that it’s a really bad deal.” This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1904, the New York Subway opened and it only cost a nickel-per-ride, just like Mallory’s Trolley Folly Fans promise.
- MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Kevin Flynn Flam’s, “During my campaign for a four-year term on City Clown-Sale I was against the Stupid Streetcar.”
- MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Halloween is nearing and we have another timely poem from the Bard of Cleves.
Upcoming is a holiday
We call it Halloween,
When every girl can be a princess
And every boy a queen.
- THE MUCK STOPS HERE: With Ohio still appealing Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black’s ruling in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns the Muck will still be flying during only nine more days until the 2014 Midterm Election.
- SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. [READ MORE HERE]
- WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says this week according to the Dissociated Press The stock market closed out its best week in nearly two years on a positive note Friday, helped by strong quarterly earnings from Microsoft and other big companies. After weeks of speculation over the fate of Europe’s economy, Ebola fears and plunging oil prices, investors appeared to get back to basics. Wall Street is in the middle of one of the busiest times of the year — when companies report their quarterly results. What drives stock prices higher is the potential for a company to earn more, so higher profits generally mean higher stock prices.
- THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
- FINALLY AT SATURDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster why you always see so many illegally placed DemocRAT campaign signs on Saturday mornings that you didn’t notice during the week. “Friday nights are prime time for volunteers for Dishonest DemocRAT candidates to put campaign signs in the public rights-of-way. That’s because they know the municipalities won’t usually confiscate their illegally placed campaign signs until Monday. We call that ‘Calculated Dishonesty.’”
IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?
Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.
This week we’re featuring Mikey Brown, a portly pantload from Indian Hill, who wanted to win the Punt, Pass, and Kick Competition to please his dad, who was a real football fanatic. Poor Little Mikey dreamed of standing at mid-field during halftime, where a stadium full of fans would cheer him, and everybody else at home would see him on TV.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
- Monday (October 27) we’ll be our Focus Group to see what they think about some of the candidates running in the 2014 Elections while we’re continuing to count down the 817 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
- Tuesday (October 28) we’ll be trying to find out if Voters really understand how much those feel good tax increases they approve are really costing them and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be telling us why anybody who votes for a school tax hike is really stupid.
- Wednesday (October 29) is “Frankenstein Day,” and some of our readers will be comparing the Monster the Obama Administration.
- Thursday (October 30) is “Mischief Night” and we’ll once again be riding shotgun with Conservative Chris Finney’s Annual Yard Sign Wrecking Crew in Anderson.
- The first line of Friday’s (October 31) limerick is: “What folks will be wearing on Halloween Night.”
- And Saturday (November 1) is “Book Lovers Day,” and maybe we can get an author to take us to lunch, if we tell him we like his crappy book.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially especially Derided DemocRAT Attorney General Candidate David Pepper whose political history in Cincinnati contains many interesting antidotes, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
HALLOWEEN YARD DISPLAY HOT LINE
E-mail your cell phone photos today.
Some frightening items items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally frightening subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.