MONDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2016
Happy Chinese New Year, Everybody!
Last year was the “Year of the Sheep,” and after Obama’s re-election in November 2012, Conservatives are still acknowledging that a Divided America will have to kowtow to the Chinese for at least 347 more days during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.
And speaking of “Sheeple,” this is the year for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5
The year before that was the “Year of the Horse,” and these days, Disgraced Former Pants Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton is really enjoying all those blow job offers he’s getting while he’s campaigning for Hillary.
The year before that was the “Year of the Ox,” which seemed more fitting, considering all those Dumb-Ox DemocRATS and BureaucRATS The Blower was always writing about. Maybe nominations for our King and Queen of the Oxymorons should still be open.
The year before that was the “Year of the Rat,” and we all remember who won that. The year before that was the “Year of the Pig” and who’ll ever forget our Queen of the Pig People? “Mean Jean” remembers when it was the “Year of the Bitch.” Does anybody remember “The Year of the Cock?” No wonder Ben Dover, Phil McKrevis, and Chris Squealback are still using that year’s calendar. According to The Blower’s alternate life-style contributors, that was a very good year. Actually, it was the “Year of the Rooster,” but we just like to say “Cock,” so all you wussies with dirty-words filters on your computers won’t get today’s e-dition and you’ll all be wondering what else you’ve missed.
On Chinese New Year’s, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and Hamilton County Prosecutor ”JayWalking Joe” Deters always used to get together for hot-and-sour soup at China Gourmet on Erie Avenue, while Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo was enjoying some more sumptuous Szechuan with his gal pal Miss Vicki at the Wok in Fort Mitchell.
Back in Anderson, where the Chamber of Commerce says they have more Chinese carry-out restaurants per-capita than there are Chins in the Chinese phone book, Venerable Former Trustee “In Russ We Trust” Jackson says if Republican Millionaire Lobbyist GOP Senator Rob “Fighting for Foo-young” Portman (Pictured as our trade deficit skyrocketed was Dubya’s TROTUS) would interrupt his non-stop campaign for Vice President in 2016 and once again be the grand marshal for our annual celebration at the Anderson Food Court.
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our February fund-raising drive by the Greater Cincinnati Chinese Chamber of Commerce, your main resource for all China-related matters, stimulating trustful connections, providing benefits and fostering cooperation among all regional Midwest American and Chinese organizations.
CHINESE NEW YEAR HOT & SOUR LINE
Whistleblower Chinese New Year Video
Meet the Parents: Chinese New Year Nightmare!
(Sent in By Joe Braun, whose Favorite Restaurant is the Hibachi Grill & Supreme Buffet in Clermont County)