Annual “Chinese New Year” E-dition

FEB 8 CHINESE NEW YEAR

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 2016

Happy Chinese New Year, Everybody!

image004Oriental Observer One Lo Ball says today Lunar New Year 4713 begins the “Year of The Monkey,” in honor of Michelle Obama during Black Lives Really, Really Matter History Month.  

image005Last year was the “Year of the Sheep,” and after Obama’s re-election in November 2012, Conservatives are still acknowledging that a Divided America will have to kowtow to the Chinese for at least 347 more days during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached. 

image006And speaking of “Sheeple,” this is the year for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5

image005The year before that was the “Year of the Horse,” and these days, Disgraced Former Pants Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton is really enjoying all those blow job offers he’s getting while he’s campaigning for Hillary.

image005The year before that, it was the “Year of the Snake,” and Conservatives couldn’t suck the poison of ObamaCare fast enough.

image005The year before that, it was the “Year of the Dragon,” and Real Republicans still haven’t gotten over the fact that Saint Mitt didn’t slay the Dragon on that November 6.

image005The year before was the “Year of the Rabbit” with more comparisons between Obama and Jimmy Carter (remember that “Killer Rabbit?”)

image005The year before was the “Year of the Tiger,” which had to be held up until our disgraced golf star Tiger Woods got out of sex rehab. 

image005The year before that was the “Year of the Ox,” which seemed more fitting, considering all those Dumb-Ox DemocRATS and BureaucRATS The Blower was always writing about. Maybe nominations for our King and Queen of the Oxymorons should still be open.

image005image007The year before that was the “Year of the Rat,” and we all remember who won that. The year before that was the “Year of the Pig” and who’ll ever forget our Queen of the Pig People? “Mean Jean” remembers when it was the “Year of the Bitch.” Does anybody remember “The Year of the Cock?” No wonder Ben Dover, Phil McKrevis, and Chris Squealback are still using that year’s calendar. According to The Blower’s alternate life-style contributors, that was a very good year. Actually, it was the “Year of the Rooster,” but we just like to say “Cock,” so all you wussies with dirty-words filters on your computers won’t get today’s e-dition and you’ll all be wondering what else you’ve missed.
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image005On Chinese New Year’s, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and Hamilton County Prosecutor ”JayWalking Joe” Deters always used to get together for hot-and-sour soup at China Gourmet on Erie Avenue, while Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo was enjoying some more sumptuous Szechuan with his gal pal Miss Vicki at the Wok in Fort Mitchell.  

image005Back in Anderson, where the Chamber of Commerce says they have more Chinese carry-out restaurants per-capita than there are Chins in the Chinese phone book, Venerable Former Trustee “In Russ We Trust” Jackson says if Republican Millionaire Lobbyist GOP Senator Rob “Fighting for Foo-young” Portman (Pictured as our trade deficit skyrocketed was Dubya’s TROTUS) would interrupt his non-stop campaign for Vice President in 2016 and once again be the grand marshal for our annual celebration at the Anderson Food Court.

image005No wonder our Joke of the Day Committee chose: “The only problem with Chinese New Year Jokes is that an hour later, you have to tell another one.”

 More Real News Some Other Time…image010image003

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fansimage011

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our February fund-raising drive by the Greater Cincinnati Chinese Chamber of Commerce, your main resource for all China-related matters, stimulating trustful connections, providing benefits and fostering cooperation among all regional Midwest American and Chinese organizations.image003

 CHINESE NEW YEAR HOT & SOUR LINE

e-mail your dog brain soup recipes today. image012

Some canine-cuisine-loving items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally canine-cuisine-loving subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.image003

 Whistleblower Chinese New Year Video 
Meet the Parents: Chinese New Year Nightmare!

(Sent in By Joe Braun, whose Favorite Restaurant is the Hibachi Grill & Supreme Buffet in Clermont County)

PLUS

Happy Chinese New Year 2014! Funny Animation!

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.image003Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found hereimage023

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