“Losers’ Legacies” By James Jay Schifrin


         Imagine the humiliation of the folks back home if someone you thought had made it really big on the national stage was finally forced to resign in disgrace? That was number one on the agenda yesterday when the Commissioners in Patronage County broke the Sunshine Law at an illegal secret executive session.

        “Can you believe Obama’s Failed Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius was actually born in Cincinnati in 1948? She looks way older than that,” said Commissioner Pilfer. “Do you think Tim Burka in Hamilton County will be giving her a ticker tape parade the next time she comes to town?”

        “Her father John Gilligan was once Governor of Ohio,” said Commissioner Filch. “John Kasich didn’t order flags to be flown at half staff, did he?”

        “Obama says she’ll go down in history,” added Commissioner Swindle, “probably as the worst in history, just like the rest of his administration.”

        “Sebelius has been an embarrassment for the past five years,” explained Commissioner Filch. “Maybe she just ran out of lies.”

        “Perhaps she resigned to help incumbents in the 2014 elections who face blistering attacks after supporting ObamaCare. You know, the ones who said they voted for it so they could find out what’s in it?” added Commissioner Pilfer.

        “At least there’s one good thing about resigning in disgrace,” concluded Commissioner Swindle, “You can’t be fired, and now Kathleen won’t have that free Cadillac plan government health care insurance, so she can apply for ObamaCare as soon as it’s available next January, and hope she doesn’t get sick in the meantime.” 

image034This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.