SUNDAY, JANUARY 24, 2016
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s: At a Donald Trump rally in Oklahoma, Sarah Palin called President Obama a “weak-kneed capitulator in chief.” When asked if she knows what a capitulator is, she said, “Of course I do — it’s one of those worms that turns into a butterfly!” Conan O’Brien said: Donald Trump’s supporters are now being called “Trumpeters.” And Jeb Bush’s supporters are being called “clinically depressed.” And after Sarah Palin’s rambling endorsement of Donald Trump, she failed to show up at a Trump campaign event. Palin apologized and said, “I was fresh out of nonsense.” Jimmy Kimmel said: Jeb tweeted today that if Donald Trump is the nominee Hillary Clinton will be elected president and we can’t let that happen. Jeb is painting himself as the only candidate who can beat Hillary. Meanwhile his brother George is at home painting portraits of his dog. And Seth Meyers said: Donald Trump said today that he didn’t expect Sarah Palin to speak for “quite that long” during her rambling endorsement speech earlier this week. She did speak for over 20 minutes, but remember, for Sarah Palin, that’s only three “sintences.”
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1848, a millwright named James Marshall stared all that expansion in the American West when discovered gold along the banks of Sutter’s Creek in California, but today the Obama Administration would never give you a permit to dig.
OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY CHOSE Bob Marley’s “Don’t gain the world and lose your soul; wisdom is better than silver or gold,” but everybody at The Blower thought that was really corny.
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THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says it isn’t just Donald Trump. A whole lot of voters are angry at the current policies of the federal government. Can you blame them? After all, most still agree with former President Ronald Reagan that “government is not to solution to our problem; government is the problem.” But Republicans and unaffiliated voters are much more critical of government than DemocRATS are. [READ MORE HERE]
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” No. 295 says to quote P. J. O’Rourke: “The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.”
GOING GALT means you’ve recognized that you do not need to justify your life or wealth to your neighbors, “society,” or politicians, or bureaucrats. They’re yours, period!
THIS WEEK IN PATRONAGE COUNTY: In this week’s column from Patronage County titled “Under the Influence,” we heard the outrage over the grand-jury indictment of former Patronage County Commissioner Victor Spoils. That op-ed column first appeared in the legendary Mt. Washington Press on February 4, 1980.
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL: Remember a couple of weeks ago when Bunky Tadwell sent us a copy of his poem entitled “Winter” that simply said, “Jesus H. Christ, it’s cold out there! (The end)?” Well today, the Bard of Cleves has another fast four-liner about our climate:
They say there is Global Warming,
But if I may be so crass;
This friggin’ Global Warming,
Is really freezing my ass!
Unfortunately, Bunky…it was unseasonably warm this afternoon, so your timing is really off!
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER has had a couple of stories in The Blower this week, but there’s always room for more, so send him your muck.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read the “Eldon Pudpuller.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says optimism about global central banks and gains in oil prices is helping the major indexes with plenty of green at the open. The trigger for the market’s mood shift was Mario Draghi’s strong Thursday comments, which has helped raise the market’s hopes from next week’s Fed meeting as well. [Read more from Zack’s here.]
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, and tonight many Free Grain Party Members are watching the Disingenuous DemocRAT Debate to see how much FREE Stuff is being promised.
This week on the campaign trail, Ted Cruz said, “Giving away free stuff is very easy for politicians to do, but the simplest rule of economics is TANSTAAFL — there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch. Anything a politician gives you, he must first take from you. And so if you have the federal government mandate paid medical leave, what that ends up doing is driving up the cost of labor for low-income workers.”
After attempting to explain the economics of how offering paid leave would cost people to lose their jobs, he added: “And by the way, if you get fired or laid off, not only do you not get paid family leave but you don’t get a paycheck either.”
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY AT TONIGHT’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what he thought about Sarah Palin’s endorsement of Donald Trump this week, and the mockery of it all on Saturday Night Live last night.
“Cha-ching!” said Kane. “That’s the sound of about another $50 million worth of free publicity for the Trumpster, as if he really needed it.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
MONDAY (JANUARY 25), The Blower will be our Annual Opposite Day E-dition, while we’re continuing our countdown of the 361 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless he’s impeached.
TUESDAY (JANUARY 26) our Real Subscribers will be wondering what happened to all that snow we were promised last weekend.
WEDNESDAY, (JANUARY 27) Angry Andersonians will be still trying to figure out how much their Hamilton County Property Taxes increased because of that Forrest Gump School Tax Hike Scam, and The Blower will be reminding everybody to make sure they have cash in their bank accounts next Monday to cover those humongous checks they’ll have to write to pay their Jacked-Up Hamilton County Real Estate Taxes.
THURSDAY (JANUARY 28) We’ll be in Des Moines, covering the final Republican Presidential Debate before next Tuesday’s Iowa Caucuses.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JANUARY 29) LIMERICK IS: “At our Groundhog’s Day Party this year.”
AND SATURDAY (JANUARY 30) we’ll be reviewing the progress on all those local Political Primary races, to see if incumbents have anything to worry about.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hamilton County’s Disingenuous Double-Dipping Million Dollar Mistake Prone DemocRAT Auditor, who still hasn’t explained exactly how his office came up with its Fair Property Values for your Jacked-Up Property Taxes that are due before Ground Hog’s Day. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows what happens when you schedule a Property Tax Review.WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
SARAH PALIN ENDORSES DONALD TRUMP PRESIDENT 2016 FUNNIEST MOMENTS AMERICA IDIOCRACY TWILIGHT ZONE
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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