WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 13, 2016
Yesterday during the 2012 Republican Presidential Campaign, the New Hampshire Primary had been held, another dozen delegates had been decided, and we were working on Thursday’s Getaway from the Granite State E-dition, which looked something like this:
THURSDAY, JANUARY 12, 2012
On to South Carolina
In New Hampshire, Noted New Hampshire Political Reporter Manchester Tadwell said that state’s First-in-the-Nation Primary was finally over, and just as The Blower had predicted, the results were just as The Blower predicted: Mitt Romney’s Super PAC beat the Super PACs of Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich by a wide margin.
So according to the Dissociated Press, with only “298” days until the 2012 Presidential Elections, the Delegate Count (including Iowa and New Hampshire) was then Romney (20), Santorum (12), Paul (3), Huntsman (2), and Gingrich and Perry (0). 1,144 delegates were still needed to win the GOP nomination, and at that point there were 2,249 delegates still up for grabs. Maybe that’s why over at Lucianne.Com, they kept saying Keep saying, “it’s early, everything will work out.” Type a smiley faceJ
The Blower would of course be covering the January 21 South Carolina Primary, and from the capital city of Columbia, Noted Political Reporter Gamecock Tadwell would be bringing us all the news.
In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker said everybody was talking about what Roland Mesnier had to say about Bill Clinton’s eating habit. The former White House pastry chef (from the Carter Administration through George W. Bush) called what our sex-crazed former Pants-Dropper-in-Chief used to put in his mouth “scary.” Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception thought he knew why.
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders said Ohio’s very public GOP power struggle was still cause for concern. Governor Kasich’s push to replace Ohio RINO Party (ORP) chairman Kevin DeWhine had serious national implications: the Issue 2 campaign proved how low DemocRATS, Progressives, and Big Labor were willing to go to ruin the Buckeye state. Sherrod Brown (not to mention Obama) could hot have been happier.
Disingenuous DemocRATS also couldn’t stop smiling whenever Ohio’s GOP U.S. Senator Rob “Fighting for Freedom Centers” Portman said tax hikes could be part of an overall debt plan like our failed congressional “super-committee member did in Akron the other day.
Today was Bob McEwen’s Birthday, and we promised not to tell you how old he was. The previous year on his birthday, McEwen enjoyed a Birthday Breakfast at I-Hop, where our Revered Former Congressman was offered “Mean Jean’s” office in Beautiful Downtown Batavia that Clermont Trustees assured him would then soon become vacant.
Meanwhile, Our Disgruntled DemocRAT said the Butler Co Dems had their own dirt. Jocelyn Bucaro was running for State Central Committee — this was the same woman who was underhanded enough to backstab Justin Coussoule’s campaign when he ran against John Boehner, and yes, even hacked into that campaign’s data donor and volunteer data base several times for what she said was a phone number because she apparently couldn’t use the phone book.
Mahogany Grill was getting a city loan of $300,000 for machinery and now they want another $500,000 to decorate. That’s $800,000 just to put a black-owned restaurant at the Banks! How many plates of greasy food would it take to repay the city? Whistleblower Freebie Gourmet Martin Upchuck bet it wouldn’t stay in business long enough to pay our city over-taxed payers back.
Michelle Obama had better not see the overpriced menu of Ribs, Waffles, Fried Chicken, Fish ‘n Chips, Chicken Wings, Beef Polish Sausage, $17 Pork Chops, $18 Chitlins, $19 shrimp and grits and Fried Green Tomatoes (seasonal).
That Sunday, The Blower predicted we’d be hearing today from Phil Burr-ass at Citizens for Community Values about the Gay Guy on Cincinnati Clown-cil’s push for domestic partners benefits, already signed by everybody on the City’s New Extreme Liberal Clown-cil, except The Windbag. Not surprisingly, Retired Cleveland Pain Dealer News Hawk Turned Bellwether Blogger Bill Sloat was reporting Burr-Ass was promising a lawsuit.
Down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole said reporters were e-mailing gotcha questions to local candidates. You should’ve seen some of the ones local state rep-tile wannabes are getting about Issue 2 and the Heartbeat Bill. Not included were questions about helping townships get rid of embarrassing trustees.
Speaking of which, Newtown’s absentee state rep-tile actually showed a meeting Tuesday night. It was the first time he’d shown his face in three years. Maybe it’s because he’d just figured out he had an opponent for that upcoming GOP Primary in then only “54” more days.
Hurley the Historian said on that date in 1926, the two-man comedy series “Sam ‘n’ Henry” debuted on Chicago’s WGN radio station. Two years later, after changing its name to “Amos ‘n’ Andy,” the show became one of the most popular radio programs in American history. That program evolved to become “Good Times” (where a poor Afro-American family makes) the best of things in the Chicago and “The Jeffersons” (where a nouveau riche, African-American family moves into a luxury apartment building) on TV, and for the next year you’d still be seeing Barack and Michelle living a lavish lifestyle courtesy of We the Over-Taxed-Payers. In that week’s episode, we saw Michelle tell CBS she’s tired of her “Angry Black Woman” stereotype.
In Anderson, Trustee President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson wasn’t sure of people to be included on the Whistleblower’s Official List of the Top 50 Most Fascinating People in Anderson Township to be announced later this year, but he was working on his own Top 50 Most Boring, Repulsive or Uninteresting Anderson Residents. So far he had seven: Kevin P. O’Brien, Steve Dapper, Kevin P. O’Brien, Greg Delev, Kevin P. O’Brien, Eric Spangler, and Kevin P. O’Brien.
Finally, at that day’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking what Charles Foster Kane most remembered about the New Hampshire Primaries when our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher was doing media advance work for Ronald Reagan’s Primary Campaign in 1980.
Kane recounted the Nashua debate between Ronald Reagan and Bush 41, which Reagan funded with his own campaign money, inviting the other candidates to participate at short notice. Wikipedia said the Bush camp did not learn of Reagan’s decision to include the other candidates until the debate was due to commence and Bush’s refusal to participate led to an impasse on the stage. As Reagan attempted to explain his decision, the editor of the Nashua Telegraph ordered the sound man to mute Reagan’s microphone.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo TEA Party favorite Thomas Massie of Vanceburg was then seeking to replace Goof Doofus as Congressman in Kentucky’s Fourth District and Ryan Hogan of Bowling Green (one of Senator Rand Paul’s top aides) would be Massie’s campaign manager. The Blower said that Massie guy might just have a chance.
Ken said what he loved about getting up each morning and reading his e-mail from Blower readers who give him tons of material to write. That day a Blower reader from Union had written to ask what was the difference between Judge No Moore from Boondoggle County and Judge Executive Thomas Massie from Lewis County.
Answer: Judge Massie used his own money to buy a 1,200-acre farm, set up a saw mill like the pilgrims, built his own house, and then took the manure from his cattle to heat his house. On the other hand, Judge No Moore took your tax money, bought an 81-acre farm with no road frontage and no access and wanted to build walking trails and horse trails along the creek that the manure from the horses would pollute.
Horny in Hebron personally knew Goof Doofus didn’t flee to Hebron from Canada to avoid military duty back in the 80s, but the Goofster did say our Northern Border was “very porous.” Ken Cam Boo said the Goofster also didn’t come to Hebron via Pittsburg to get free hats, cloves, coats, and a free diner from Judge No Moore.
Ken Cam Boo said The Blower had received several calls from subscribers in the Crescent Springs and Vanilla Hills area asking if those two cities had spend $150,000 to build a 911 Memorial, did that mean they would also have to build a $55,000 Kiosk like Boondoggle County did, so all the homeless police and fireman from New York and New Jersey who might move here to get free hats, coats, and gloves and had a place to get out of the inclement weather?
The Vanilla Hills Vigilante told us that other media outlets were starting to look into miscreant Mayor Mike Martin’s white-hot Firegate Scandal. To which our Beloved Publisher said, “Welcome to the party. It’s about damned time!” The Blower and our friends from The Martin Chronicles had been covering this story from the moment Mikey “The Torch” Martin first started squirting lighter fluid. We even gave you late-comers a big assist. Martin was going to tell you that all those city documents he burned (in the middle of a lawsuit!) were duplicates. But they were not. Law enforcement officials recovered some of the documents Martin was attempting to destroy. It is going to get very hot for the mush-mouthed Martin.
Finally, at yesterday’s meeting of that Cabal Still Out to Destroy “Eric ‘Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator’ Deters, one of the caballeros was wondering when The Fishwrap ran Brenna Kelly’s story about one of Crazy Eric’s clients (“Ben-Gal cheerleader to get day in court”), if any of those unfurloughed Fishwrap Fact-checkers bothered check out all those rumors saying Sarah Jones might no longer being on the team.
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That day’s edition was being brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our January fund-raising drive by Phil Burr-Ass’ Citizens for Community Values for all that great publicity we’d be giving his hate-filled homophobic campaign to deprive benefits to Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, and Transgenders at Cincinnati City Hall.
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“I Am Paying For This Microphone, Mr. Green!”
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