SUNDAY, JANUARY 10, 2016
More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN: On this date in 1946, the first General Assembly of the United Nations, comprising 51 nations, convened at Westminster Central Hall in London, England. So whose bonehead idea was it to bring those parasites to the United States anyway?
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Benjamin Netanyahu’s response to word that Obama is seeking to become the next United Nations Secretary General after he leaves office: “Wasn’t eight years of having Obama in office enough? Eight years during which he ignored Israel? And now he wants to be in a position that is liable to cause us hardships in the international arena.”
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s: In an interview on “Morning Joe” yesterday, Donald Trump said that he thinks the media is starting to like him. Then the media said, “Like you? Have you seen our ratings? We LOVE you!” Conan O’Brien said: Donald Trump is now accusing Ted Cruz of having a Canadian passport. Cruz said he doesn’t have a Canadian passport, but like everyone else he’ll get one the minute Donald Trump becomes president. James Corden said: Hillary Clinton complained about having to take selfies with voters, saying that it takes up too much time at campaign events. Yeah, good one, Hillary. That’s the way to capture the youth vote — directly criticize their favorite thing in the whole world. Jimmy Kimmel said: Our current president, the one named Obama, is gearing up for what will be his final state of the union address on Tuesday night. His aides have been describing the speech that he plans to give as nontraditional. Which probably means he’s going to do that “watch me whip, watch me nae nae” dance. And Seth Meyers said: Vice President Joe Biden in a new interview said that he wakes up every day regretting that he didn’t enter the 2016 race. And every day Hillary Clinton holds the rag over his nose and he goes back to sleep.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says our first Trump Change survey of the New Year finds that belief among Republicans that Donald Trump will be the next GOP presidential nominee ties its highest level ever, and among all likely voters, more than ever agree. As the hopefuls for the Republican presidential nomination whale away at each other in TV ads in key states, most Americans continue to say negative ads are not necessary and actually backfire on the candidates who air them. Republicans are looking forward to this year’s presidential contest. Among DemocRATS, 50% are looking forward to the presidential race, but nearly as many (44%) have had enough of it already. [READ MORE HERE]
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” tell them you don’t give a damn about the polar bears. And it’s not because you don’t like cute, fluffy, white carnivores; it’s because you find it hard to accept that a species whose population has increased fivefold—from 5,000 to 25,000—in the last five decades can actually be in any kind of trouble.
GOING GALT: We remember a couple of years ago this week when Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) asked Republicans to stop reading Ayn Rand books and help DemocRATS pass legislation aimed at continuing their 50 Year Failed War on Poverty.
THIS WEEK IN PATRONAGE COUNTY, Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as our brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County. This week’s column titled “The Eyes Have It” first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on December 30, 1981, and was personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today, Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, remembers a poem entitled “Winter” that simply said, “Jesus H. Christ, it’s cold out there! (The end)?” Well today, the Bard of Cleves has another fast four-liner about our climate:
They say there is Global Warming,
But if I may be so crass;
This friggin’ Global Warming,
Is really freezing my ass!
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER understands our Clermont County Cronies want Congressman WenSchmidt’s head for supporting o Tax-and-Spend House Speaker Ryno’s Cave-in To Obama. Has anyone begun circulating a “Bring Back Mean Jean” Petition?
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Juanito Rameriz Story.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says the Dow lost 1,079 points this week, or over 6%, as fears about China and crashing oil prices dealt Wall Street a painful one-two blow. It was the Dow’s worst five-day start to a year on record, according to Dow Jones.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, and most Free Grain Party Members can hardly wait until the next Disingenuous DemocRAT Debate on January 17. The DemocRAT Nation Committee is hoping for the smallest possible TV audience. Do you think they plan to schedule their important event before the Iowa Caucuses at the same time as an NFL Divisional Playoff Game?
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
Finally, at Today’s Meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were reminding Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to remember to wish his NoKY Gal Pal Miss Vicki a Happy Birthday tomorrow, but he wasn’t sure if it’ll get censored.
“I plan to send Miss Vicki a really personal message,” Kane explained, something like “Women improve with age. The older I get, the more I like them” on Miss Vicki’s Facebook Timeline.”
You really can’t get much more personal than that.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
MONDAY (JANUARY 11) The Blower will be getting set to cover Obama’s thankfully last State of Disunion Speech this week, while we’re continuing our countdown of the 375 days remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term unless he’s impeached.
TUESDAY (JANUARY 12) our Real Subscribers will be checking to see if Bungals 0-7 Coach Marvin Lewis still has a job,
WEDNESDAY, (JANUARY 13) Angry Andersonians will be trying to figure out how much their Hamilton County Property Taxes increased because of that Forrest Gump School Tax Hike Scam.
THURSDAY (JANUARY 14) will be checking to see if Ohio Republican Governor John Kasich has been included in the “Main Debate” when they reduce the number of eligible candidates.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JANUARY 15) LIMERICK IS: “The reason we have no civility.”
AND SATURDAY (JANUARY 16) we’ll be getting ready to enjoy all that Racial Healing in Obama’s Divided America during the Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday Weekend.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially especially Ohio DemocRAT Chairman David A. Pepper, who’s busy researching the law on Voter Fraud these days. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows how.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
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Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
Obama’s Gun Control Town Hall Lies | Louder With Crowder
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