Special “Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest” E-dition



Weekly Whistleblower Limerick Contest

“Rude Remarks”

           This week, everybody who says, Obama’s latest call for “Civility” was just another load of bi-partisan, can’t-we-all-get-along crap, tweeted an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

           image004The winner is Randy Rude, our Uncivil Libertarian who says it’s insulting how the Left has deemed the rallies and speech of the TEA Parties and other libertarian groups as uncivil and a threat to political discourse, because unlike Fishwrap bloggers, who pretend to care about maintaining a dose of civility, The Blower should always contain unlawful, threatening, abusive, libelous, defamatory, vulgar, pornographic, profane, or indecent (but not poorly written) information. Everything we write doesn’t have to be so mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

Randy wins a list of “1,001 Insults for All Occasions;” a seat on Cincinnati Munchkin Mayor John Cranley’s new Uncivil Rights Commission; a chance to avoid the next forum on bad manners moderated by Beyond Civility, presented by the Charter Committee of Greater Cincinnati (if they ever schedule another program); and opportunity to be on the air with WLW’s paid legal expert, Lovely Lisa Wells to play the tape recording of that time Eric ‘Call Me Crazy” Deters called telephoned him and called him a “mutherfucker” 427 times in less than five minutes. His winning limerick is: 

The reason we have no civility
Is that voters no longer have the ability
To distinguish between truth and fiction –
Thanks to widespread media dereliction –
And, among candidates, a complete lack of virility.

Dishonorable Mentions Include:

The reason we have no civility
And politicians have no virility,
Is the pursuit of the Almighty Buck
It’s turned everyone into a schmuck,
Obsessed with their financial viability.

The reason we have no civility
Can be broken down into a trilogy
Pundits shout at the masses
Spouting nonsense from their asses
To make-up for their lack of abilities

And from our Anderson Laureate, each of these entries has been approved by the American Uncivil Liberties Union:

The reason we have no civility
Is that the Left believes it is nobility.
For them to be kind
And have an open mind
Would simply be beyond their ability.

The reason we have no civility
Is that liberals have no humility.
They always know what is best
For all of the rest
And if you complain, they call it “hostility.”

The reason we have no civility
Is because of liberal hostility
They think they are right
And want to show you the light
The problem is, they have no ability.

The reason we have no civility
Our nature is fraught with fragility.
We might want to be nice
But if you take my advice
You’ll fight the Left with all your ability.

The reason we have no civility
Is that liberals lack humility
They’re better than we are,
Matthews, Krugman and Behar,
Don’t expect them to accept responsibility.

The Left hates Beck, Rush and Hannity
But don’t you question their humanity
If you don’t follow their script,
Have no doubt, you’ll get ripped
I’ve had enough of all their insanity.

So when anything bad takes place,
Whether it’s about gays, Bush, or race,
You can bet your sweet tail
Libs will rant and they will rail
Even though they don’t have a case.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When someone sends you a tweet”image012image013