SATURDAY, JANUARY 23, 2016

For The Real Start Of The Primary Season

With only nine more days until the Iowa Caucuses, Hawkeye Bureau Chief Jan Michelson was remembering how frantic things were during the Final Countdown to the last two Iowa Caucuses he covered for The Blower in 2008 and 2012. The action always seems the same, but with different players.

For example, with only two weeks to go until the Iowa Caucuses kick off the 2012 Presidential Contest with some real votes, nobody was surprised when the liberal Des Moines Register that endorsed Obama in 2008 also endorsed Mitt Romney in 2012. Today, the Des Moines Register announced it is endorsing Sen. Marco Rubio in the Republican presidential primary, and Hillary Clinton in the DemocRAT presidential primary.

In 2012, Newt Gingrich said he preferred his endorsement by the Conservative newspaper in New Hampshire to Romney’s endorsement by the Liberal newspaper in Iowa; Texas Governor Rick Perry moved into third place in the latest poll; and you didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why Ron Paul’s was getting all that suspicious support.

Meanwhile, with only 12 more days until the Iowa Caucuses, it was no more Mr. Nice Newt after the Newtster lashed out at Mitt Romney, accusing his chief rival of a “negative smear campaign” fueled by a political action committee “with close ties to the former Massachusetts governor.” Rivals were starting to take aim at Ron Paul, ever since he began to surging in the polls, and Evangelical Voters were then split between Rick Perry, Michelle Bachmann, and Rick Santorum. 

With only one week to go, Mike Huckabee (the 2008 GOP winner in Iowa) predicted if the weather was good for the Iowa Caucuses on January 2, Mitt Romney would be the winner, but if the weather was bad, Ron Paul could win, since his supporters would be more determined to get to the caucus locations.

With only five days to go, Romney, Gingrich, and Paul were in the lead, but Perry was gaining. Meanwhile, down at Hamilton County RINO Headquarters in Cincinnati, Alex T., Mall Cop GOP was tweeting like crazy, trying to round up delegates for Rick Santorum.

Exactly why was the Hamilton County RINO Party sending out e-mails asking for people to be delegates for Rick Santorum?  The party should’ve stayed out of the primaries and focused on winning in November.  After the party’s hideous performance in the local 2011 elections, this concept shouldn’t have needed any further debate. 

Speaking of the Iowa Caucuses, down at The Fishwrap, Metro Mole remembers when The Blower came up with “Wedgie Woman” for Carolyn Washburn’s Official Whistleblower Nickname after taking over from Failed Fishwrap Editor Tom Callinan, who left to take that part-time sort-of-a-journalism-professor’s job at UC’s night school.  

According to the Iowa Republican, the Des Moines Register tried to spin Washburn’s departures as a promotion, since she will now be the Editor of her “hometown newspaper” while it’s still in business. The real story is that Washburn had to leave if The Register wants to have any chance at hosting another presidential debate.

Iowans have not forgotten the epic wedgie she sported during the Register’s 2008 Republican presidential debate. If having a huge wedgie in front of a nationwide audience wasn’t embarrassing enough, the national media ridiculed the debate itself. Heck, I think everybody thought that debate sucked.

The Register said Washburn “received a wide range of national recognition.” Isn’t that the truth? Look at the recognition she received by Charles Krauthammer on Fox News.

The Iowa Republican’s Krusty Konservative added: I also feel bad for Washburn’s replacement, Rick Green. I simply don’t know how on earth a man will survive working in a building dominated by women and Jason Clayworth.

I guess they will probably give him a little slack as long as he loves Iowa’s merit based judicial nominating system and gays. Oh, it would also probably help if he hates Steve King and Bob Vander Plaats too. My guess is that Mr. Green is a living example of the word emasculated.

Welcome to Des Moines, Rick!