MONDAY, JANUARY 4
The Better To Fool You With
Our Garrulous Grammarian says one way you might guess you’ve been listening to a Politically Correct Person is when you hear that person use a lot of “Euphemisms.” What’s a “Euphemism?” According to Dictonary.com, it’s when you use a mild, indirect, or vague expression for one thought to be offensive, harsh, or blunt.
Garrulous says the most common euphemism is probably “passed away,” which many people – including newscasters who obviously know better – use instead of “died.” Politicians always say they “misspoke” when they really “lied.” And Obama has always used “Euphemisms” to obscure his unpopular agenda.
Here Are Some Other Common Euphemisms You Often Hear In Politics
| DEMOCRAT | REPUBLICAN |
| Arsenal of Weapons | Gun Collection |
| Delicate Wetlands | Swamp |
| Undocumented Worker | Illegal Alien |
| Cruelty-Free Materials | Synthetic Fiber |
| Assault and Battery | Attitude Adjustment |
| Heavily Armed | Well-protected |
| Narrow-minded | Righteous |
| Taxes or Your Fair Share | Coerced Theft |
| Commonsense Gun Control | Gun Confiscation Plot |
| Illegal Hazardous Explosives | Fireworks or Stump Removal |
| Non-viable Tissue Mass | Unborn Baby |
| Equal Access to Opportunity | Socialism |
| Multicultural Community | High Crime Area |
| Fairness or Social Progress | Marxism |
| Upper Class or “The Rich” | Self-Employed |
| Progressive, Change | Big Government Scheme |
| Homeless or Disadvantaged | Bums or Welfare & Leeches |
| Sniper Rifle | Deer Rifle with scope |
| Investment For the Future | Higher Taxes |
| Healthcare Reform | Socialized Medicine |
| Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater | Conservative |
| Truants | Homeschoolers |
| Victim or Oppressed | Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing |
| High Capacity Magazine | Standard Capacity Magazine |
| Religious Zealot | Attends Church |
| Fair Trade Coffee | Overpriced Yuppie Coffee |
| Exploiters or “The Rich” | Employed or Land Owner |
| The Gun Lobby | NRA Members |
| Assault Weapon | Semi-Automatic handgun |
| Fiscal Stimulus | New Taxes and Higher Taxes |
| Same Sex Marriage | Legalized Perversion |
| Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting | Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs |
| Accepted Fact | Horse shit |
If you hear any more, please let us know.
