FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2016
How Will We Ever Find a Way to Say Something Sarcastic?
At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if The Blower would be celebrating National Sarcasm Month this October. “I’m not sure if we ever could say sarcastic things about people,” Kane replied, “since we’ve always prided ourselves on telling the Absolute Truth,” especially since our Garrulous Grammarian says using sarcastic language is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
SARCASM FOR DUMMIES says when somebody asks you a question, first think of an honest answer. Then think of the opposite of it. Then say it out loud and roll your eyes. See how easy that is?
OUR EGREGIOUS ETYMOLOGIST says anyone who has suffered from the sarcastic remarks of others will not be too surprised to learn that sarcasm, “a cutting remark,” comes from a Greek verb, sarkazein, that literally means “to tear flesh like a dog.”
OUR SARCASTIC QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE says Stephen Bishop must’ve been thinking about the Obama Administration when he said, “It’s a catastrophic success.”
BARACK OBAMA, WARRIOR PRESIDENT says he’d rather be dealing with all of his crises and scandals rather than golfing and attending DNC Fundraisers.
CROOKED HILLARY says, “I’m sure the FBI had a really good reason to reopen my E-mail Investigation.”
DONALD TRUMP says, “Do you think my Mean Tweets had anything to do with it?”
WHISTLEBLOWER POLLSTER RON RASMUSSEN says with only 11 more days until the 2016 elections, “Americans believe candidates don’t need to resort to criticizing their opponents and producing negative campaign ads to win an election.” No sarcasm there!
AND BELOVED WHISTLEBLOWER PUBLISHER CHARLES FOSTER KANE says “I’m sure all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, will totally understand.”
The Sarcasm Society* says
There is nothing more beautiful than sarcasm. That is definitely an overstatement but it should balance the moronic comment which says that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. Now, whoever made that statement was desperately in need of a rectal broomstick extraction procedure.
Sarcasm usually requires a quick wit, and the ability to extract the minutest points of weakness in a conversation. So it is quite unlikely that it is the lowest form of humor as some would like to call it. Perhaps not being able to enjoy sarcasm is directly related to not having the ability to come up with sarcastic comments, which in turn creates a feeling of inadequacy, which in turn can spawn a Napoleon complex, that can cause someone to logicise that sarcasm is the humor of the stupid.
Now I know what most of you are going to say, and I cannot wait to hear from each and every one of you.
*It is really just one guy.
SARCASM ALERT HOTLINE
e-mail your cutting comments today.
Some really sarcastic items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally really sarcastic subscribers.
More Sarcastic E-Cards
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
PLUS
(Sent in by The Sarcasm Society, because they really value your opinion.)
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.