SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2022
TRUMP’S SIX-HUNDRED-AND-SEVENTH-FIFTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND FINALLY, RECOUNTS OF THE 2022 WHISTLEBLOWER TURKEY CONTEST VOTING HAVE BEEN COMPLETED AND OFFICIALLY CERTIFIED BY THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA
Who Were the Biggest Turkeys for 2022?
At this afternoon’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders could hardly wait for Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane to announce the big winner of the 2022 Whistleblower Turkey Decorating Contest for Thanksgiving, where the person who was selected as the biggest turkey of the year would be shown with his head on the body of a turkey. This year, the 2022 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest was again sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurants and Northern Kentucky turkeys were not left out, because separate winners were awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.
And like everything else in The Blower, nominees were traditionally discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other basis covered by local law.
Then our distinguished panel of judges met in executive session to select our finalists for the Biggest Turkey of the Year, and using that same “fair, open, and honest process” which has become a time-honored tradition in Hamilton County and Ohio RINO Party Politics, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane merely suggested the names of the winners, and of course, all of those suck-ups at the Conservative Agenda totally agreed.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo also said the 2016 Winner in Kentucky should once again be the 2022 Winner, Disbarred Greedy Hearse-Chasing, Disgraced D-RAT, Clinton-Loving, Fen-Phen Scandal-Plagued, Not-Yet-Indicted Trial Attorney $tan Che$ley, because he’s still afraid to come to Kentucky to pick up his prize with that Boondoggle Bench Warrant still outstanding.
That Cabal Of NoKY Attorneys Out To Destroy Kentucky Gubernatorial Candidate Eric Deters naturally clamored for the Kentucky Turkey to again be Eric “Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self-Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Did It Take So Long For Me To Be Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator” Deters in Kentucky. But we couldn’t decide which illustration to use.
Scott Greenwood, Chairman of the Whistleblower Legal Dream Team (The ACLU’s nationally known constitutional rights and civil liberties lawyer) remembering the outcome of “Crazy Eric’s” historic, unsuccessful, frivolous, fool-for-a-client “SLAPP Suit,” meant to chill The Blower’s Free Speech, really wanted us to use this one.
In Hamilton County, it would’ve been difficult to choose among Ousted Hamilton County Clerk of Courts Cheryl Winkler, the Brothers Deters, Hillary’s Hamilton County Spokesperson Denise Driehaus, and Unsuccessful Hamilton County Commissioner Candidate, Anderson Trustee Andrew Pappas.
And the Conservative Agenda unanimously voted to award Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP with the Lifetime Achievement Turkey of the Year Award. Fortunately for Alex, Obama had previously given him a Lifetime Pardon along with the other White House Turkeys.
Meanwhile, members of The Anderson Township Real Republican Party wanted The Blower to be certain to acknowledge Anderson Township Trustee Josh Gerth for his part in passing the Forest Hills School District’s humongous $103 million Tax Hike Scam. Gerth had been seen publicly supporting the Tax Hike Scam in this video.
Finally, nobody was surprised when Beloved Whistleblower Publisher announced the big winner of the 2022 Whistleblower Turkey Of The Year Contest after Ohio First District Republican Congressman Steve Chabot had been replaced by Pelosi’s Boy Toy—But We’re Not Sure Which One.
This Is Your Official Turkey Contest Winner E-dition. Any Other Turkey Contest Winner You Might See Announced In Any Other Publication Would Surely Be a Fake.