SUNDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2016
TONIGHT’S TOP STORY
Hillary and Trump issued two contrasting responses to the vandalizing and firebombing of a Republican Party headquarters in North Carolina on Sunday. A graffiti message reading “Nazi Republicans leave town or else” was left on the building, and the blaze inflicted extensive damage to the office, according to a statement from Hillsborough police. No one was hurt in the incident, and police are now investigating. Hillary pretended to condemn the incident on Twitter Sunday evening. “The attack on the Orange County HQ @NCGOP office is horrific and unacceptable,” she said. “Very grateful that everyone is safe.” Meanwhile, Trump was quick to assign responsibility for the incident to Clinton supporters. “Animals representing Hillary Clinton and Dems in North Carolina just firebombed our office in Orange County because we are winning,” Trump tweeted.
MIKE PENCE IN MASON ON MONDAY HOT LINE
Monday, October 17
Manor House Banquet & Conference Center (12:00 PM)
Doors Open at 9:00 AM
RESERVE YOUR TICKETS HERE
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Hillary jumped on the release last week of an 11-year-old video in which Donald Trump makes graphic sexual comments to say it shows her Republican rival’s demeaning attitude toward women. But Trump countered that Clinton was an enabler who allowed her husband, former President Bill Clinton, to sexually assault women for years. Voters tend to agree with Trump that Bill Clinton’s behavior was worse, but not surprisingly there’s a sharp partisan difference of opinion.
TODAY’S QUOTE IS FROM NEWT GINGRICH, who says “I think that without the unending one-sided assault of the news media, Trump would be beating Hillary by 15 points.”
THURSDAY NIGHT, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER said the jokes weren’t very good this week. Jimmy Fallon said, “The third and final debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump is coming up in Las Vegas next week, and Hillary’s holding a contest where the winner gets to actually go watch it in person. Everyone was like, “Yeesh, what does the loser get?” Jimmy Kimmel said, “I got a personal email from Mr. Donald J. Trump who offered me an exclusive Trump Presidential Black Card. For a one-time initiation fee of $35, you can get a card that has no benefits or rewards whatsoever.” And Seth Meyers said, “Donald Trump spoke at a campaign event in Florida today where he once again said Hillary Clinton should be locked up. Well, Donald, if it’s any consolation, it looks like the election is locked up.”
Meanwhile, last night’s Saturday Night Live sketch finally went too far for Donald Trump. The Trumpster usually has a pretty good sense of humor about how “Saturday Night Live” has portrayed him — even when it has been hugely unflattering. He didn’t even have much to say when SNL called his supporters racist multiple times on the same show, for example. But no more. After this weekend’s show, SNL is now part of the media conspiracy trying to rig this election.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1793, Marie Antoinette was beheaded, and anti-taxers recall when “TaxKiller Tom” cut that Defeated, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-And-Paid-For, Tax-And-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-In-A-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s head off the cake when she won the “Marie Antoinette Let ‘Em Eat Cake Award,” which had been bestowed to honor the tax-and-spend RINO politician for her blithe ignorance of the plight of the beleaguered over-taxed payers of Cincinnati and Hamilton County.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says he knows we’re in the middle of an all-you-can-eat Trump and Clinton fest, but we’re passing up some good material here, like Jim McNair’s latest CityBeat expose at the Hamilton County Courthouse. Even good conservatives should raise an eyebrow at this stuff. The poor office administrator tried to nip this office slouching in the bud in 2012, but didn’t know what he was up against.
It’s Getting Closer To Election Day, And We Have Another Timely Poem From Bunky Tadwell, The Bard Of Cleves:
Trolley Folly Update
The streetcar project stumbles on
With the cost forever rising.
Understanding how council thinks
That fact is not surprising
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Illegal Briefs,” Scandal reared its ugly head in Patronage County last week. Remember when Genius Maddchild was bludgeoned to death last year when he tried to dislodge Commissioner Swindle’s sticky fingers from the public coffers? This op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on July 20, 1983.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #295 is to quote P. J. O’Rourke: “The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.”
JOHN GALT says, “The symbol of all relationships among such men, the moral symbol of respect for human beings, is the trade…A trader is a man who earns what he gets and does not give or take the undeserved.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says a heavy slate of U.S. corporate earnings could set the course next week for a wavering U.S. stock market. Better-than-expected big bank earnings on Friday somewhat helped shore up Wall Street’s confidence, which has been shaken by a rocky beginning to third-quarter reporting season, marred by disappointing results from industrial and healthcare companies. But with the bulk of results still to come, investors are counting on large U.S. companies to stop a year-long streak of profit declines. Next week’s reports include Microsoft, General Electric, Johnson & Johnson and Bank of America.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
OUR ANGRY ANDERSONIAN says diarrheal politics are gurgling and churning. When the pressure finally gets too much to hold the release we’ll be gasping for fresh air and hoping there’s an extra roll of TP in the vanity. I Had to go watch the toilet scene from “Dumb and Dumber.” Fox News should open the third debate with that. Think anyone would understand the metaphor? Honestly, this feels like it’s going to end in an assassination and WWIII. I Haven’t felt this way about things since atomic attack drills in school in the early 60s. Or since race riots and war protests in the late 60s. Or since Watergate in the early 70s. Or since the energy crisis in the late 70s. Or since… Never mind.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the Trump campaign’s declaration of war against Ohio GOP chairman Matt Borges, who’s now following the lack of leadership from his bosses. “Portman and Kasich have been trying to ruin the Trump campaign from the beginning,” Kane explained. “Neither has ever said a negative word about Hillary or a positive word about Trump. Insiders have always known that they were Republicans in Name Only. Now everyone in America knows not only who they are, but who they have always been.”
REMEMBER: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially the “DemocRAT Dead End Kids, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
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THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINEe-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
MONDAY (OCTOBER 17) The Blower will be covering Mike Pence’s rally in Mason while we’re continuing to count down the 95 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (OCTOBER 18) The Blower will be continuing its exclusive local WikiLeaks coverage, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will only be too happy to give us their opinions about that.
WEDNESDAY (OCTOBER 19) we’ll be covering the Final Presidential Debate in Las Vegas.
THURSDAY (OCTOBER 20) we’ll be looking into that “School Tax Scam” in Cincinnati if some of our local snitches could give us a little bit more information.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (OCTOBER 21) LIMERICK IS “Is Journalism already dead?”
AND SATURDAY (October 22) we’ll still be wondering if we can ever find a way to celebrate National Sarcasm Month.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video Of The Day
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