SUNDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2016
TONIGHT’S DEBATE HIGHLIGHTS
A Fly lands on Hillary’s Face During The Debate.
Slick Willie’s Victims Were Seated in The Front Row
Trump Told Hillary, “You’re No Lincoln.”
Trump said, “Unlike my ‘Words,’ Bill actually assaulted women, and Hillary defended kid rapists.” Trump also told Hillary, “If I win, I am going to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation,” pointing to her email practices at the State Department as cause for further investigation. At another point, said that if he were elected president, she would be “in jail.”
Did Hillary Really Ask Fact Checkers to Check The Facts?
Trump Slammed The Moderators, Saying He Was Debating “1 on 3”
And Wasn’t It Curious That CNN Didn’t Have A Debate Poll Tonight?
And Then There Was Frank Luntz’s Focus Group
Pence Congratulated Trump On Winning The Debate, “Proud To Stand With You”
And Clinton Spokesman Told Trump To “Go Fuck Himself”
GREAT Night, Mr. Trump! GREAT Work!
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen wondered before tonight’s debate if anything would happen to break this race wide open or would it be neck-and-neck down to the wire. Rasmussen Reports’ first full week of daily White House Watch surveys ended with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump all tied up again as they approach their second debate Sunday night. Trump was ahead by five points just before the first debate and fell three points behind afterwards. Will their next meet-up make any long-standing difference?
THURSDAY NIGHT, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER said there wasn’t new late night joke material this week, but Variety says Saturday Night Live made sure to take aim at the latest controversy involving Donald Trump, with an opening sketch that portrayed the Republican presidential candidate as a bumbling misogynist who could not understand why his recent remarks might cause offense. (MORE)
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1961, with the help of a pair of five-run innings at Crosley Field, the Yankees won the World Series, beating the Reds in Game 5, 13-5.
OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Jacques Barzun’s, “Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball.” But The Blower likes Yogi Berra’s, “Ninety percent of the game is half mental.”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES, who says with only 30 more days until this year’s elections, here’s something to think about:
Voters’ Remorse
It will soon be time for you to vote
Not to vote would be a sin.
We can throw the rascals out
And throw new rascals in.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Vendorsements,” just before the Annual Commissioner Swindle Mudslinging Contest, Patronage County Innuendo political reporter Dummy Byline stood chatting with Waldo Whitewash, his counterpart at The Compost, the other daily newspaper in Patronage County. This op-ed column first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press in November, 1982.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER wonders if that local Congressman who just paid $1.01 million for a two-story townhouse three blocks from his DC office forgot to invite him to the housewarming.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #288 is to express profound bafflement over a liberal’s positions on abortion and capital punishment. “So let me get this right: you’re in favor of saving the lives of convicted murderers and terrorists? But you’re in favor of killing kids who haven’t gotten around to doing anything wrong yet and who might turn out nice? Interesting!”
JOHN GALT says, “The symbol of all relationships among such men, the moral symbol of respect for human beings, is the trade…A trader is a man who earns what he gets and does not give or take the undeserved.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES wonders if anybody saw Obama’s lousy jobs report on Friday. Only 156,000 jobs were created in September, which was well below analysts’ expectations of about 175,000. So far this year, job growth has only averaged 178,000 per month, compared with an average of 229,000 per month in 2015. Wages in September rose less than estimated and manufacturing jobs declined. Meanwhile, a record 94,184,000 Americans were still NOT IN THE LABOR FORCE.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he had any good lines for Donald Trump to us in tonight’s tonight’s Second Presidential Debate where Biased DemocRAT Debate Immoderators Anderson Cooper of CNN and Martha Raddatz of ABC along with Hillary Supporters planted in the audience to ask 342 questions about Donald Trump’s deplorable vulgar comments about women 11 years ago to help Hillary. “That’s easy,” Kane explained. “We told the Trump campaign they should follow Reagan’s lead (when the Gipper was answering a question from Sam Donaldson) and say Trump should be excused for using all that vulgar language in 2005 because he was a DemocRAT at the time. It’s too bad he didn’t use it. Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen must’ve forgotten to tell him during their briefing.”
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Derided Ohio DemocRAT Party Chairman David Pepper, whose political history in Cincinnati contains many interesting antidotes, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (OCTOBER 10) The Blower would probably be a good time for The Blower to publish its Annual Columbus Day E-dition while we’re continuing to count down the 102 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (OCTOBER 11) is “Yom Kippur,” when it’s safe to invite your Jewish friends out for lunch because they’re supposed to be fasting, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will only be too happy to give us their opinions about that.
WEDNESDAY (OCTOBER 12) we’ll probably still be reporting all that Liberal Media Bias at Sunday night’s Second Presidential Debate,.
THURSDAY (OCTOBER 13) we’ll be checking to see in Whistleblower Wannabe Julian Assange has yet delivered any more “October Surprises” for Hillary.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (OCTOBER 14) LIMERICK IS “Here’s what’s wrong with those presidential debates.”
AND SATURDAY (October 15) will be White Cane Safety Day, and all Politically Correct Publications will be recognizing the achievements of the blind and visually impaired, although we’re not sure how all those blind people will be able to read they their stories.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video Of The Day
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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