TODAY IS
TUESDAY, APRIL 12, 2022
TRUMP’S FOUR-HUNDRED AND FORTY-SEVENTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND THIS E-DITION WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY ROLLIN AT COMPUTER-GENERATED SOLUTIONS WHO EASILY TOLD US HOW TO REPLACE OUR WIRELESS NETWORK ADAPTER ON OUR LENOVO COMPUTER AFTER TECHNICIANS FROM SPECTRUM AND MICROSOFT HAD TRIED AND FAILED.

Economic Emancipation Arrives in the Buckeye State
          Ohio Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says today may be Tax Freedom Day in Ohio, but it won’t arrive for the country as a whole until April 17. According to our friends at The Tax Foundation, today’s the day in Ohio each year you stop working exclusively for the government because every dollar you’ve earned so far this year will have theoretically gone to pay all of your federal, state, and local taxes for 2021.

         Maybe that’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Ronald Reagan’s “Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”

         Gerry Manders says Tax Freedom Day comes to Ohio only two days before “Tax Freedom Day” in America on April 17 (just the 107th day of the year), five days after Hoosier Daddy says Tax Freedom Day arrived in Indiana on April 9, and two days after April 12, when Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says over-taxed payers on the South began working for themselves since everybody knows the state and local taxes are lower in Kentucky.

YESTERDAY AT THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane which was his “Favorite Day” in April. “There are so many to choose from,” Kane explained. “So it would be hard to pick a favorite.” But The Blower says “Tax Freedom Day” is the day we really plan to celebrate this year, and so should even all of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Second Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, then gave Obama a Third Term With A Real Lack Of Election Integrity For Joke Biden*, and get all of their information from our Licentious Leftists in the Press, like the ones on Channels 5, 9, 12, and 19, as well as our Feckless Fishwrappers.

More Tax Freedom Celebrations Later