Daily Archives: November 22, 2017

Official “Getting Ready for Thanksgiving” E-dition


WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2017        

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers


  On Sunday’s date in 1941, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill officially establishing the fourth Thursday in November as Thanksgiving Day, but don’t be surprised if somehow Obama tries to take credit. Hurley the Historian


 And on Thanksgiving, we’ll be choosing Ronald Reagan’s “Perhaps no custom reveals our character as a Nation so clearly as our celebration of Thanksgiving Day. Rooted deeply in our Judeo-Christian heritage, the practice of offering thanksgiving underscores our unshakable belief in God as the foundation of our Nation and our firm reliance upon Him from Whom all blessings flow.”—Your Quote for Today Committe

image017This year on Thanksgiving, President Donald Trump will head to Mar-a-Lago, his club in Palm Beach, Florida, while Vice President Mike Pence is putting his imprint on the 2018 midterm elections, doling out contributions to three dozen Republican candidates — many of whom have been steadfast allies of the White House.. —The Trump-Pence 2020 Team

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful if President-elect Trump really meant it when he said he doesn’t plan to pursue charges against me. —Crooked Hillary


 And this Thanksgiving, we’ll be thankful The Blower will be covering the Radical Liberal Media Establishment, especially after all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President In History In The White House—Twice, And Had Planned To Give Obama A Third Term By Voting For “Crooked Hillary,” And Get All Of Their “Fake News” From Our Local Obama Supporters In The Press, Like The Ones At The Fishwrap, and on Channels 5, 9, 12, and 19, ensured that the Divided States of America would have a government it truly deserves. —The Conservative Agenda 

image017This Thanksgiving, we’re thankful for socialized medicine, wealth redistribution, anti-gun judges, higher taxes, open borders, and class warfare, but especially all that FREE STUFF! —Obama’s Moochers and Slackers, Wishing He Were Still President

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be accusing Trump of “pimping” for the poultry industry with his annual pardoning of the official Thanksgiving turkey, but not condemning the killing of 45 million birds for the annual American feast.—PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)         

image017This Thanksgiving, will failure continue to stalk Obama? We remember four years ago when we reported all eight Turkeys he’d previously pardoned on Thanksgiving had died. —ABC News

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful if PMSNBC finally doesn’t have to discipline another host like they had to do four years ago when they fired Martin Bashir for saying he’d like to see somebody “Shit in my Mouth!” —Sarah Palin

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be complaining that we didn’t get an ObamaCare Carve Out like Congress did. —Obama’s Buddies in Big Labor

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be thankful for Obama’s Justice Department and all those Obama Supporters in the Press looking the other way for the past eight years. —DemocRAT Vote Frauders

image017image007This Thanksgiving, the GOP didn’t have to fear a government shutdown over immigration like that 2013 shutdown over Obamacare which didn’t hurt our party at the polls. —Texas TEA Party Senator Ted Cruz

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be thankful to COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case which allowed politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns. —Ohio DemocRATS  

 image009image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll still be thankful nobody remembers my promise to resign after Romney lost the 2012 election. —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful if every Real Republican in Hamilton County hasn’t asked me to resign. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T. Mall Cop GOP

image017image011This Thanksgiving, I’ll be wondering which Doofus DemocRAT Loser plans to run against me next year. —“Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup

image017 This Thanksgiving, I’d be thankful if I don’t win The Blower’s 2017 Turkey Of The Year Contest. —Ohio Delusional RINO Governor Kasich

image017This Thanksgiving, we’re thankful some people still think we exist. —Clermont County TEA Partier

image013image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful if The Blower doesn’t remind people how I took all that Turkey Money. —“Mean Jean” Schmidt

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll still be thankful to all those rich white donors who gave me all that money to piss away as a Black Republican trying to win in a Black Ohio State Senate District. Charlie Windbag

image017This Thanksgiving, I’d be happy if people would stop asking me when I’m going to get that big job I was promised in the Trump Administration. —Hamilton County Commissioner Me, Greg Hartmann

image017This Thanksgiving, I’m still thankful I won re-election, especially after somebody played the Race Card. Diminutive DemocRAT Cincinnati Mayor John Cranley

image017image014This Thanksgiving, we’re still glad the City’s Over-Taxed Payers didn’t force us to co-sign for that million dollars Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory helped Mahogany’s Liz Rogers scam from the City. —The Soul Food Six (Clown-sale Members Wendell Young, Charlie Winburn, Rich Heiress Boy Alexander Paul George Sittenfeld, Yvette Simpson, Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin’, and Cecil Thomas)

image017This Thanksgiving, we’re glad we were once again elected to four-year terms. —Stupid Streetcar Six Survivors (Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback, P.G. Sittenfeld, and Wendell Young, along with Vice Mayor David Mann

image017image016This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for Dumbed Down DemocRAT Voters who forgot to help me win back my seat on Cincinnati City Clown-cil. Laure “Not So Cleanlivin”

image017This Thanksgiving, we’re thankful the Reds finished in last place only 24 games behind the Cubs. —Cincinnati Reds Season Ticket Holders

image017This Thanksgiving, I’m glad I live in the Queen City. —City Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback

image017This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful I won re-election last year without much help from the Trumpsters or Conservatives who have never forgiven me for flip-flopping on same-sex marriage. —Rob “Fighting for Squealbacks” Portman

 image017This Thanksgiving, we’re glad we still have jobs. —Fishwrappers Who Haven’t Been Fired Yet  

image017image018This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful there will only be 712 Days till I can win my seat back.  — Former Anderson Trustee President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson

 image017This Thanksgiving, we’re glad we’ve not yet been notified someone nominated us for the Whistleblower’s 2017 Turkey of the Year Contest. —Anderson Township Trustee Josh Gerth and Anderson TEA Party Guy Andy “I Really Didn’t Want To Be A County Commissioner Anyway” Pappas  

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be thankful for your liberal guilt giving throughout the year that makes all of our programs possible. —The Seediest Kids of All

image020image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be thankful The Blower plans to publicize all of our efforts to help the losers of life’s lottery. —United Appall People

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful for all my snitches in Northern Kentucky. —Ken CamBoo

image017image022This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful you don’t see my name in the news very often. —Bluegrass GOP Governor- Matt Bevin

image017This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for that MSNBC Host who says that attack on me is her favorite story. —Rand Paul

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful there’s no longer a local lawyer dumb enough to file frivolous lawsuits against me. —Our Good Friend, Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E. Rob Sanders

 image023image017This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for all that wonderful publicity I continue to receive in The Blower. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful my name hasn’t been in The Blower too much lately. —Michael Liquid Plummer

image017This Thanksgiving, the best part about Thanksgiving Day dinner with your family in Kentucky is when you get to pump-kin. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll still be confused about Wilford Brimley’s Erotic No-Hands Turkey Stuffing Tips. If you hold tight to each of the turkey’s legs, what do you use to mash in the stuffing? —Horny in Hebron

image017This Thanksgiving, as usual we’re giving thanks for Cincinnati City Clown-cil. —Bluegrass Developers

image017This Thanksgiving at our company Thanksgiving Day dinner we’ll be serving Turkey Tacos. —Northern Kentucky Homebuilders

This Thanksgiving, will Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and I still be banned from the Golden Corral buffet on Thanksgiving? —Clueless Marc Wilson

image017This Thanksgiving, be sure to wipe off your turkey-baster before your wife re-uses it. —Goof Doofus

image017image024This Thanksgiving, don’t stuff your turkey with anything but dressing. —Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson

image017This Thanksgiving, would people show up on if we raced turkeys? —Turfway Park

image017Turkeys don’t fly? —Les Nessman, WKRP

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be serving green turkey bologna sandwiches at the Kenton County Escape Center. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll once again be showing “Turkeys from Outer Space.” —Flashlight Theatre

image017They call it Thanksgiving because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. —Bobby Leach

image017Why isn’t my birthday celebrated as a national holiday? — Squanto

image017Which would you like on Thanksgiving: a little “suc,” or a little “tash?” —Phyllis on Madison

image017image025We’re thankful for all those people who e-mailed their nominations to our 2017 Biggest Turkey of the Year Award Contest. —Dummy’s Restauran

image017The best part about Thanksgiving dinner at the station is when we grab Trish “The Dish’s” legs and Trish says, “Make a wish.” —TV 19 Photographers

image017You guys can’t fool me. That’s another dirty joke, right? —TV 5’s Sheree Paolello

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially some of the 2014 Turkey of the Year Nominees.



    Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer      

         image030Sometimes The Blower makes fun of food fetishes to show that fornicating your food is bad table manners and will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Foodfuker.  

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially “WILFORD BRIMLEY,” whose Erotic No-Hands Turkey Stuffing Tips are always a holiday favorite for many of our Pervert Subscribers.



e-mail your stuffing tips today.


Some turkey stuffing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally turkey stuffing subscribers.



         Thanksgiving Dinner: Will It Blend?

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