TODAY IS
FRIDAY, APRIL 17, 2020
AND THE BLOWER IS WAITING FOR THE TRUMPSTER’S NEXT TROLL

On Trump’s 1183rd Day In Office, With Still None Of Obama’s Political Perps In The Slammer

It’s Nearly Five Times Larger Than Obama’s

This week, everybody who’s been bored staying home, wearing a mask, keeping safe distances during the current coronavirus crisis, and impatiently waiting for his hopefully first-of-many Really Big $1,200 Checks, personally signed by The Trumpster himself, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.          

The winner is Our Ornery Obama Observer, who was runner-up in a 2009 Whistleblower Weekly Limerick Contest when everybody was equally eager to cash his crappy one-time Economic Recovery Payment (ERP) of $250. 

Ornery wins a quarantine period’s supply of Quilted Northern Ultra Plush toilet paper, the kind with three cushiony and absorbent layers, guaranteed not to get crap all over your hands when your fingers go through the one-and-two ply tissue every time you try to wipe yourself;  a year’s supply of hand sanitizer, especially useful if you’re away from home where Ultra Plush Three-Ply Toilet Paper is not available during the Age of Coronavirus; and a stylish-and-fashionable designer face mask allowing more than a hint of self-expression amid the pandemic.  His winning entry is:

If you haven’t gotten your big stimulus check,
Take it easy, and just say “What the heck!”
There’s no reason to be glum,
Sooner or later it’ll come,
Hopefully before your life becomes a real total wreck.

Not to be outdone, Perturbed in Park Hills proudly presents another one of his overstuffed sonnets, this one that explains the Illusion Of Modern Banking System.

If you haven’t gotten your big stimulus check,
And you’re wondering if that’s more government dreck,

Blink twice, and recall how the Fed creates money:
It’s a sleight-of-hand, assuredly not funny.

The Fed manufactures our money out of zip –
“Fractional reserve banking” – I’ll give you a tip:

If you or I tried to print and spend our own bucks,
We’d be doing some time, ’cause we’re peons and schmucks.

“Only two trillion?” they say, “a mere bag of shells!”
“We can make plenty more, with some keystrokes on Dells!”

In 1913, the banksters staged a stealth coup
Far more catastrophic than this fake news Kung Flu.

They took over our currency and made it debt,
While sleeping clowns in Congress failed to see the threat.

It’s called “legal tender” but it ain’t worth a shit,
And no banker you question will ever admit

That the Fed is an octopus strangling to death
The U.S. economy down to its last breath.

So enjoy your funny money, but don’t hock it,
Because, Dude, it came from your very own pocket!

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Phase One Of Trump’s Recovery Plan”

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