TODAY IS
FRIDAY, APRIL 03, 2020
AND THE BLOWER WONDERS IF IT’S TIME TO PUT CORONAVIRUS IN PERSPECTIVE
On Trump’s 1169th Day In Office, With Still None Of Obama’s Political Perps In The Slammer
No Fool Like an Old Fool
This week, everybody who couldn’t wait to start playing April Fool’s Day jokes, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Harley Hoodwinker, who always likes to watch people’s faces whenever he says, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times…” Harley wins a copy of the “1,001 Best April Fool’s Day Pranks of 2020” so he can plan ahead for next year, a lifetime pass on the new Cincinnati Trolley, and Reds and Bungals playoff tickets. His winning limerick is:
There once was an old April fool
Dumb as an ox, stubborn as a mule
He voted with libs
Fell for the DumbocRAT fibs
And left us with Obama to rule.
Here’s a Dishonorable Mention from Angry Andersonian Andrew Pappas
There once was an Old April Fool,
Who at one time had been very cool,
Now all of his friends,
Send him lots of Depends,
And Kleenex to catch to catch all his drool.
Bobby Leach says this is nostalgic
There once was an old April fool
Who thought that he was really cool
He wore bell bottomed jeans
Like he was still in his teens
And watched TV reruns of the Cool Ghoul.
E Rob Sanders denies he sent this in
There once was an Old April Fool
Who fancied his franchise quite cool.
He refused to trade old Number Nine,
Insisting everything would be fine,
Since all this Fool’s deals are Old School.
Rick “The Bat Boy” Robinson plans to include this in his next book
There once was an old April fool
Who challenged a guy to a duel
But he made a bad deal
The guy was a Navy SEAL
Now in Hades he is under Osama’s rule.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who’s counting the days until his poetic license is restored):
There once was an old April fool
Who forgot what to do with his tool
He got into trouble
When he folded it double
And found himself covered in drool.
Tomas de Torquemada writes
There once was an Old April Fool
Whose capers were strictly Old School.
He dialed the ugliest girl in class:
“Is your fridge running? Better haul ass!”
He signed into home room as “Dick Hertz,”
Making the teacher stammer in spurts.
When he found Prince Albert in a can,
He advised, in a total deadpan,
“Better let him come up for air:
Otherwise he won’t have a prayer;
Your microagression just hurts!”
But check Funk-n-Wagnalls under “fools,”
And you’ll find all the socialist ghouls,
From Sanders to Biden to O’Rourke –
A Hall of Shame of the leftist dork.
When the Trumpster pulls out the stops
He’ll use these clowns’ faces as mops,
And expose them as George Soros tools.
Finally, Perturbed in Park Hills writes
There once was an Old April Fool
Who thought he could take Trump to school.
When campaigning he stuffed his mouth,
While all his poll numbers went south.
He talked in generalities,
Without specificities.
His delegate count? What a joke!
Here’s a joint: have another toke!
Ever learn to read a scoreboard?
Got a thrill falling on your sword?
For never-Trumpers, he’s the man,
But the guy was his own best fan.
When he came to town to convert,
Our cell phones screamed “RINO Alert!”
Who was this old fuddy-duddy,
Ohio’s famous slow study?
None other than John R. Kasich,
Which rhymes, ironically, with “shtick.”
