Official “Getting Ready for Thanksgiving” E-dition



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 On Saturday’s date in 1941, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill officially establishing the fourth Thursday in November as Thanksgiving Day, but don’t be surprised if somehow Joke Biden’s White House tries to take credit. Hurley the Historian

image017And on Thanksgiving, we’ll be choosing Ronald Reagan’s “Perhaps no custom reveals our character as a Nation so clearly as our celebration of Thanksgiving Day. Rooted deeply in our Judeo-Christian heritage, the practice of offering thanksgiving underscores our unshakable belief in God as the foundation of our Nation and our firm reliance upon Him from Whom all blessings flow.”—Your Quote for Today Committee 

image017This year on Thanksgiving, President Donald Trump will be at Mar-a-Lago entertaining people who’ve really pissed off Leftist Loonies this week. —Tucker Carlson

image017This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful President Trump really meant it when he said he didn’t plan to pursue charges against me. —Crooked Hillary



 And that Thanksgiving, we would be thankful The Blower was covering all of the Days of Dishonesty and Division for America brought to you by the Radical Media Establishment during the Trumpster’s First Term , while all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For “Crooked Hillary” in 2016’s Rigged Presidential Election, and get all of their “fake news” from News Liars at The Destroy Trump Media, Like The Ones At The Fishwrap And On Channel 5, 9, 12, And 19, Even After RINOs Tried To Give It All Away By Losing The House Of Representatives In Trump’s 2018 Mid-Term Elections And Dishonest D-RATS Got Caught Trying To Cheat Once Again, ensuring that the Divided States of America would have a government it truly deserves. —The Conservative Agenda   

image017That year on Thanksgiving, we were thankful for socialized medicine, wealth redistribution, anti-gun judges, higher taxes, open borders, and class warfare, but especially all that FREE STUFF! —DemocRAT Socialist Moochers and Slackers, Wishing Obama Were Still President

image017That year on Thanksgiving, we were accusing Trump of “pimping” for the poultry industry with his annual pardoning of the official Thanksgiving turkey, but not condemning the killing of 45 million birds for the annual American feast.—PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals)         

image017That year on Thanksgiving, we continued to blame Trump, forgetting four years earlier when we covered up the fact that all eight turkeys Obama had previously pardoned on Thanksgiving had died. —ABC News

image017That Thanksgiving, I was thankful PMSNBC finally didn’t have to discipline another host like they had to do five years earlier when they fired Martin Bashir for saying he’d like to see somebody “Shit in my Mouth!” —Sarah Palin

image017That Thanksgiving, we’ were complaining that we didn’t get an ObamaCare Carve Out like Congress did. —Obama’s Buddies in Big Labor

image017That Thanksgiving, we were thankful for Obama’s Justice Department Holdovers and all those Trump Bashers in the press for looking the other way for the previous ten years. —D-RAT Vote Frauders

image017image007That Thanksgiving, the GOP didn’t have to fear a government shutdown over immigration like that 2013 shutdown over Obamacare which didn’t hurt our party at the polls. —Texas TEA Party Senator Ted Cruz

image017That Thanksgiving, we were thankful to COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case which allowed politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns. —Ohio D-RATS  

 image009image017That Thanksgiving, I’ll was thankful nobody remembered my promise to resign after Romney lost the 2012 election. —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham

image017That Thanksgiving, I was thankful every Real Republican in Hamilton County hadn’t asked me to resign. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T. Mall Cop GOP

image017image011That Thanksgiving, I was wondering which Doofus DRAT Loser planned to run against me in 2020. —“Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup

image017That Thanksgiving, I was thankful if I didn’t win The Blower’s 2018 Turkey Of The Year Contest. —Ohio Delusional RINO Governor Kasich, Running For Spoiler in 2020.

image017That Thanksgiving, we were thankful some people still think we exist. —Clermont County TEA Partiers

image013image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful if The Blower doesn’t remind people how I took all that Turkey Money. —“Mean Jean” Schmidt

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll still be thankful to all those rich white donors who gave me all that money to piss away as a Black Republican trying to win in a Black Ohio State Senate District. Charlie Windbag

image017This Thanksgiving, I’d be happy if people would stop asking me when I’m going to get that big job I was promised in the Trump Administration. —Hamilton County Commissioner Me, Greg Hartmann

image017This Thanksgiving, I’m still thankful I won re-election, especially after somebody played the Race Card. Diminutive DemocRAT Cincinnati Mayor John Cranley

image017image014This Thanksgiving, we’re still glad the City’s Over-Taxed Payers didn’t force us to co-sign for that million dollars Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory helped Mahogany’s Liz Rogers scam from the City. —The Soul Food Six (Clown-sale Members Wendell Young, Charlie Winburn, Rich Heiress Boy Alexander Paul George Sittenfeld, Yvette Simpson, Laure “Not So” Cleanlivin’, and Cecil Thomas)

image017This Thanksgiving, we’re glad we were once again elected to four-year terms. —Stupid Streetcar Six Survivors (Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback, P.G. Sittenfeld, and Wendell Young, along with Vice Mayor David Mann

image017image016This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for Dumbed Down DemocRAT Voters who forgot to help me win back my seat on Cincinnati City Clown-cil. Laure “Not So Cleanlivin”

image017That Thanksgiving, we were thankful the Reds finished in last place only 28 and a half games behind the Brewers. —Cincinnati Reds Season Ticket Holders

image017This Thanksgiving, I’m glad I live in the Queen City. —City Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback

image017This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful I won re-election last time without much help from the Trumpsters or Conservatives who have never forgiven me for flip-flopping on same-sex marriage. —Rob “Fighting for Squealbacks” Portman

image017This Thanksgiving, we’re glad we still have jobs. —Fishwrappers Who Haven’t Been Fired Yet  

image017image018That Thanksgiving, I was thankful there were only 347 Days till I could try to win my seat back.  — Former Anderson Trustee President “In Russ We Trust” Jackson

image017That Thanksgiving, we were glad we’d not yet been notified who nominated us for the Whistleblower’s 2018 Turkey of the Year Contest. —Anderson Township Trustee Josh Gerth and Anderson TEA Party Guy Andy “I Really Didn’t Want To Be A County Commissioner Anyway” Pappas  

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be thankful for your liberal guilt giving throughout the year that makes all of our programs possible. —The Seediest Kids of All

image020image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be thankful The Blower plans to publicize all of our efforts to help the losers of life’s lottery. —United Appall People

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful for all my snitches in Northern Kentucky. —Ken CamBoo

image017image022This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful you don’t see my name in the news very often. —Former Bluegrass GOP Governor- Matt Bevin

image017This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for that MSNBC Host who says that attack on me is her favorite story. —Rand Paul

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful there’s no longer a local lawyer dumb enough to file frivolous lawsuits against me. —Our Good Friend, Kenton County Commonwealth’s Attorney E. Rob Sanders

 image023image017This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for all that wonderful publicity I continue to receive in The Blower. —Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll be thankful my name hasn’t been in The Blower too much lately. —Michael Liquid Plummer

image017This Thanksgiving, the best part about Thanksgiving Day dinner with your family in Kentucky is when you get to pump-kin. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis

image017This Thanksgiving, I’ll still be confused about Wilford Brimley’s Erotic No-Hands Turkey Stuffing Tips. If you hold tight to each of the turkey’s legs, what do you use to mash in the stuffing? —Horny in Hebron

image017This Thanksgiving, as usual we’re giving thanks for Cincinnati City Clown-cil. —Bluegrass Developers

image017This Thanksgiving at our company Thanksgiving Day dinner we’ll be serving Turkey Tacos. —Northern Kentucky Home Builders

image017This Thanksgiving, will Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and I still be banned from the Golden Corral buffet on Thanksgiving? —Clueless Marc Wilson

image017This Thanksgiving, be sure to wipe off your turkey-baster before your wife re-uses it. —Goof Doofus

image017image024This Thanksgiving, don’t stuff your turkey with anything but dressing. —Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson

image017This Thanksgiving, would people show up on if we raced turkeys? —Turfway Park

image017Turkeys don’t fly? —Les Nessman, WKRP

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll be serving green turkey bologna sandwiches at the Kenton County Escape Center. —Terry “The Smiling Jailer” Carl

image017This Thanksgiving, we’ll once again be showing “Turkeys from Outer Space.” —Flashlight Theatre

image017They call it Thanksgiving because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. —Bobby Leach

image017Why isn’t my birthday celebrated as a national holiday? — Squanto

image017This Thanksgiving, we’re thankful we still have out name. Anderson Redskins

image017Which would you like on Thanksgiving: a little “suc,” or a little “tash?” —Phyllis on Madison

image017image025We’re thankful for all those people who e-mailed their nominations to our 2018 Biggest Turkey of the Year Award Contest. —Dummy’s Restaurant

image017The best part about Thanksgiving dinner at the station is when we grab Trish “The Dish’s” legs and Trish says, “Make a wish.” —TV 19 Photographers

image017You guys can’t fool me. That’s another dirty joke, right? —TV 5’s Sheree Paolello

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially some of the 2014 Turkey of the Year Nominees.



    Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer      

         image030Sometimes The Blower makes fun of food fetishes to show that fornicating your food is bad table manners and will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Foodfuker.  

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially “WILFORD BRIMLEY,” whose Erotic No-Hands Turkey Stuffing Tips are always a holiday favorite for many of our Pervert Subscribers.


e-mail your stuffing tips today.


Some turkey stuffing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally turkey stuffing subscribers.



         Thanksgiving Dinner: Will It Blend?

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