MONDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2022
TRUMP’S SIX-HUNDRED-AND-SEVENTY-SEVENTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND BLOWER HEADLINE WRITER HARRY HYPE THREATENED TO QUIT TODAY AFTER READING FUNNY FISHWRAPPER SCOTT WARTMAN’S “THE HEAD OF THE HAMILTON COUNTY REPUBLICAN PARTY WANTS A SHOT AT LEADING REPUBLICANS ACROSS OHIO.”Happy Cyber Monday, Everybody
The word “Cyber” means having anything to do with computers, information technology, and virtual reality. These days we’re living in the “Cyber Age.”
The term “Cyber Monday” was marketing term dreamt up in 2005 by a marketing team at Shop.org, a division of the National Retail Federation. The idea was to provide online retailers with a catchy hook to match the brick-and-mortar shopping frenzy fueled by mention of Black Friday savings. At the time, Cyber Monday wasn’t the busiest online shopping day of the year — it was more like the 12th — but it’s become a very popular day to shop since then [sources: National Retail Federation, Hof].
Lots of consumers were already taking part, shopping through the Black Friday weekend and into the next week, and the media seized on the Cyber Monday concept in a big way the first year it was introduced. Many online retailers saw an unexpected jump in sales, likely as a result of these free marketing efforts. By coupling the catchy phrase with sales and promotions, Cyber Monday has since served to push sales up and boost increased online shopping throughout the holiday season.
The Whistleblower’s Garrulous Grammarian says “Cyber Monday” only one of the words that stars with “Cyber.” Actually, The Free Dictionary says there are 181 words that start with “cyber.” Make that 182. We’ll show you in a minute.
Our favorite eight-letter Cyber Word is “Cybersex.” In telecommunications and at the Forest Hills School District office that means the exchanging of sexual messages or information via the internet.
If nine is your lucky number, a “Cybernaut” (a person who uses the internet) could “Cybernate” (control an industrial process by computer) from a “Cybercafe” (a cafe from which customers can access the internet) while watching a “Cybercast” (a news or entertainment program transmitted over the internet). You see that all the time.
Our two favorite twelve-letter “Cyber Words” are “Cyberattack” (an attempt by hackers to damage or destroy a computer network or system) and “CyberBlower.” (That’s the 182nd Cyber Word we mentioned earlier.)
In fact, you can just stick any damn word you want on the end of “Cyber,” and very few “Cybernerd” you would ever meet would know the difference.
Anyway, after “Black Friday,” “Small Business Saturday,” and “Cyber Monday,” comes “Buyer’s Remorse Tuesday” and “Hiding From My Creditors Wednesday.”
More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “un-kind” donation during our November fund-raising drive by your local Worst Buy Store like the one in Eastgate, where you can take your computer for repair and get sold a new computer instead that doesn’t do all those wonderful things the salesman promised.