TODAY IS
TUESDAY, MAY 03, 2022
TRUMP’S FOUR-HUNDRED-AND SIXTY-EIGHTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND SOME AMERICANS HAVE ACTUALLY FOUND A NEW WAY TO VOTE
We Have A Big Surprise For Some of Wenstrup’s Ohio Second Congressional District Supporters Today
For the past several years, Charles Foster Kane had voted early by mail, but this year, our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher was glad he’d decided to save the cost of a first-class postage stamp so he could see how the D-RATS running the Hamilton County Board of Elections had fixed all those Election Integrity problems Trump Supporters have been outraged about for the past 468 days that Legitimate President Trump has been out of office.
Last year, Kane said they should’ve moved his polling place from the church basement to the neighborhood nursing home. It would’ve smelled the same and the people who work at the polls wouldn’t have had so far to go.
Usually, Republican poll workers gave out stickers to Republican voters that said “I VOTED” and D-RAT poll workers handed out stickers to the D-RAT voters that said, “I VOTED TWICE.” But last year on that first Tuesday in November, Precinct G in Anderson had run out of “I Voted” stickers. Precinct H didn’t even get any to begin with. They must have been expecting a really low turnout. Or maybe Hamilton County Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP was in charge of the planning. This year, we didn’t see a sticker in the whole place.
But this year, the really big news was every voter who’d printed sample ballots from the Board of Elections Web Page was sure the Disorganized D-RATS in charge had mistakenly printed Congressman Steve Chabothead’s name in the First District, instead of Congressman Bird Colonel/ Podiatrist “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s name in the Second Congressional District.
Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says, “Those guys in Columbus must’ve changed our Congressional District boundaries last night when nobody was looking, or else our local Kneepad Liberals In The Press would’ve actually reported some breaking news if only they could’ve figured out a way to blame Trump.”