TODAY IS
SATURDAY, JUNE 08, 2019
Trump’s 869th Day In Office

Patriotism In The Raw

        Whistleblower Naked News Correspondent Oliver Klozhoff says traffic was bumper-to-bumper all over Anderson Township between 1-2 PM Eastern Daylight Time this afternoon, probably because all those looky-loos were hoping to be lucky looky-loos looking at all those Attractive Andersonian ladies (including nearly all Redskins Mascot-Loving Women) doing their part to weed out neighborhood terrorists by walking around naked and causing Muslim Men to commit suicide because they have seen naked women other than their wives. The Life Squad was really busy.

Sheriff’s Deputies said they’d never seen Beechmont Avenue so backed up, and several men had to be cited for driving with boners. 

Was the Whistleblower there to cover today’s “Walk Naked In Anderson Day” Event?  You bet! As the official voice of the Conservative Agenda and the publication of record for all patriotic proceedings in the Tri-State, our readers know to expect nothing less.

This afternoon’s weather couldn’t have been better, and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane wanted to thank all of his naked next-door neighbor ladies for being so patriotic.

Anderson Trustee Andy Pappas called today’s Patriotic Parade a huge success and he especially wanted to thank all those naked Anderson TEA Party Ladies who stood out in front of Cleaner Concepts on Beechmont Avenue waving “Pappas for Whatever” signs.

Ohio First Congressional District Podiatrist Congressman Bird Colonel “Bronze Star” Brad Wenstrup praised the naked ladies passing out his campaign literature in front of his office next to the firehouse on Beechmont Avenue.

And some particularly attractive naked Trump Supporting Ladies seemed to be getting a lot of attention in front of the Kroger store. Thankfully, none of those Attractiveness-Challenged Disrobed DemocRAT ladies showed up, which was a good thing, since they’re not all that patriotic anyway,  but several Motorcycle Riding Lesbian Avengers On Their Harleys were there to ogle the naked ladies, too.

This is the Official “Nude News Report” For Walk Naked In Anderson Day. Any other “Nude News Report” For Walk Naked In Anderson Day you might see published would surely be a fake!