TODAY IS
WEDNESDAY, MAY 15, 2019
Trump’s 845th Day In Office
At This Morning’s Meeting Of The Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders Were Asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Whatever Happened To President Trump’s Threat To Do Away With The So-Called “White House Daily Press Briefings” Because Of The Way Members Of The Lying-Gotcha-Propaganda Media Were Acting in Those Days.
“Actually, as any graduate of the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools can tell you, “White House Daily Press Briefings” are right there in the Declaration of Independence,” Kane added, because Thomas Jefferson wrote, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of “White House Daily Press Briefings.”
And even the Pledge of Allegiance says, “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and White House Daily Press Briefings for all.”
Do you remember when Patrick Henry said, “Give me Fake News or give me a White House Daily Press Briefing?”
Nathan Hale said, “I regret that I have but one Life to give for White House Daily Press Briefings.”
John Paul Jones said, “I have not yet begun to fight White House Daily Press Briefings.”
George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie. It was only White House Daily Press Briefings that made me cut down the cherry tree.”
Samuel Adams said, “Someday they’ll name a beer after me, and when they do, It’ll be at White House Daily Press Briefings.”
Daniel Webster said, “One country, one constitution, one destiny, and hours of White House Daily Press Briefings.”
At Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln said, “The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget our White House Daily Press Briefings.”
William Tecumseh Sherman said, “War is hell– without White House Daily Press Briefings.”
George Armstrong Custer said, “Where in the hell did all those fucking reporters come from?”
Woodrow Wilson said, “The world must be made safe for White House Daily Press Briefings.”
Will Rogers said, “I never met a White House Daily Press Briefing Man I didn’t like.”
General George S. Patton said, “No bastard ever won a war dying for his White House Daily Press Briefings. He won it by making the other poor bastard die for his White House Daily Press Briefings.”
FDR said, “We have nothing to fear but White House Daily Press Briefings themselves.”
Douglas McArthur said, “I shall return– for White House Daily Press Briefings.”
Harry Truman said, “The White House Daily Press Briefings stop here.”
Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “I think that people want White House Daily Press Briefings so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have them.”
Albert Einstein said, “”The hardest thing in the world to understand is White House Daily Press Briefings.”
Sigmund Freud said, “Most of men’s problems can be traced to their subconscious feelings about White House Daily Press Briefings.”
John Kennedy said, “Ask not what you can do for your White House Daily Press Briefings.”
Neil Armstrong said, “A small step for man, one giant step for White House Daily Press Briefings.
Barry Goldwater said, “Extremism in the defense of White House Daily Press Briefings is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of White House Daily Press Briefings is no virtue.”
Vince Lombardi said, “White House Daily Press Briefings aren’t everything.”
Ronald Reagan said, “My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation outlawing White House Daily Press Briefings. The bombing starts in five minutes.”
John Wayne said, “Sure Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have your dinner ready when you get home along with a big helping of White House Daily Press Briefings for dessert.”
Rev. Martin Luther King said, “I had a dream about White House Daily Press Briefings.”
Bill Clinton lied when he said “I did not have White House Daily Press Briefings with that woman, Ms Lewinsky.”
Charlton Heston said, “Let my White House Daily Press Briefings go.”
At every patriotic rally, Lee Greenwood always sings, “God Bless White House Daily Press Briefings.”
George W. Bush said, “White House Daily Press Briefings Accomplished.”
Not to be outdone, Obama now still insists that only Mean-Spirited Republicans would ever cancel White House Daily Press Briefings.
And Donald Trump admits, “Unfortunately, we haven’t yet made White House Daily Press Briefings Great Again.”
Obviously, The White House is still suffering so-called Daily Press Briefings with all those vile-and-disgusting Trump Haters in the Press, but at least last week President Trump threatened to remove news networks’ press credentials Wednesday over negative coverage, suggesting that recent negative comments about his presidency were “fake” news.
