Daily Archives: January 30, 2017

Special “Extreme Vetting” E-dition

It’s As American As Apple Pie
At This Morning’s Meeting Of The Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders Were Asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane About The Way Members Of The Liberal Media Conspiracy Can’t Stop Whining About President Donald Trump’s Executive Order On “Extreme Vetting” Backed By A Majority Of The American Voters.

“Actually, as any graduate of the Failed Cincinnati Public Schools can tell you, “Extreme Vetting” is right there in the Declaration of Independence,” Kane added, because Thomas Jefferson wrote, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Extreme Vetting.”

And even the Pledge of Allegiance says, “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and Extreme Vetting for all.”

Do you remember when Patrick Henry said, “Give me Extreme Vetting or give me death?”

Nathan Hale said, “I regret that I have but one Life to give for Extreme Vetting.”

John Paul Jones said, “I have not yet begun Extreme Vetting.”

George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie. It was only Extreme Vetting that made me cut down the cherry tree.”

Samuel Adams said, “Someday they’ll name a beer after me, and when they do, I’ll be Extreme Vetting.”

Daniel Webster said, “One country, one constitution, one destiny, and hours of Extreme Vetting.”

At Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln said, “The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget our Extreme Vetting.”

William Tecumseh Sherman said, “War is hell– without Extreme Vetting.”

George Armstrong Custer said, “Where in the hell did all those Extreme Vetters come from?”

Woodrow Wilson said, “The world must be made safe for Extreme Vetting.”

Will Rogers said, “I never met a Extreme Vetter I didn’t like.”

General George S. Patton said, “No bastard ever won a war dying for his Extreme Vetting. He won it by making the other poor bastard die for his Extreme Vetting.”

FDR said, “We have nothing to fear but Extreme Vetting itself.”

Douglas McArthur said, “I shall return– for Extreme Vetting.”

Harry Truman said, “The Extreme Vetting stops here.”

Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “I think that people want Extreme Vetting so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.”

Albert Einstein said, “”The hardest thing in the world to understand is Extreme Vetting.”

Sigmund Freud said, “Most of men’s problems can be traced to their subconscious feelings about Extreme Vetting.”

John Kennedy said, “Ask not what you can do for your Extreme Vetting.”

Neil Armstrong said, “A small step for man, one giant step for Extreme Vetting.

Barry Goldwater said, “Extremism in the defense of Extreme Vetting is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of Extreme Vetting is no virtue.”

Vince Lombardi said, “Extreme Vetting isn’t everything.”

Ronald Reagan said, “My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation outlawing Extreme Vetting in Russia. The bombing starts in five minutes.”

John Wayne said, “Sure Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have your dinner ready when you get home along with a big helping of Extreme Vetting for dessert.”

Rev. Martin Luther King said, “I had a dream about Extreme Vetting.”

Bill Clinton lied when he said “Nobody ask if I ate her Extreme Vetting.”

Charlton Heston said, “Let my Extreme Vetting go.”

At every patriotic rally, Lee Greenwood always sings, “God Bless Extreme Vetting.”

George W. Bush said, “Extreme Vetting Accomplished.”

Not to be outdone, Obama now still insists that only Mean-Spirited Republicans would ever support Extreme Vetting.

And Donald Trump says, “We’re making America Extreme Vet again.”