MONDAY, JANUARY 16, 2017
Our countdown clock showing how many days, hours, minutes, and seconds we have remaining until Donald Trump can begin to undo all the damage Obama’s done to America during the last eight years.
And at the same time, we’re remembering what was happening on January 16, 2009, when there were only four more days until Obama could begin damaging the country.
Transitional Analysis
One of our mean-spirited Republican Readers says, “I hope this arctic freeze stays over D.C. next week and they all freeze their asses off or catch pneumonia like William Henry Harrison who died a month after the inauguration. If we could start this whole process over, think of the ones who would be gone: Barney Frank, Teddy Kennedy, Obama, Jean Schmidt, and the rest of the D.C. mess.
And here’s some advice for the 500,000 women who’ll be in line for a no-flush port-a-potty in D.C.: wear adult diapers like the astronauts.
Our Angry Andersonian wants to know where is the outrage about the costs of the “historic” Coronation of His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadj, Doctor Barrack Hussein Obama Dada in only four more days. It will be the most expensive inauguration in history, costing over $150 million. Certainly if a Republican were being sworn in the Liberals would be screaming about how all that money could be used to help the poor, provide vaccines in Africa, etc. For Liberals, it’s the end of the world when big bucks are spent for the inauguration of any Republican, but it’s business as usual and entirely justified when even more is spent on a coronation of the most liberal president in our nation’s history. You can’t accuse the left of hypocrisy though, since as we should all know, only Conservatives can be hypocrites. Do the expenses for the big party include the relocation costs of the homeless? They were probably rounded up and bused to somewhere in Virginia! Many articles have appeared that point out how Obama is using Abraham Lincoln as a model. Let’s see if the Messiah comes close to the 12 times that Lincoln mentioned “God” in his Second Inaugural Address. We’ll be counting.
In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker brings us a live report of Congress debating adding an elaborate dance to Obama’s Coronation Ceremony.
And with only a few more hours to go until the dawning of the New Age, and their MoveOn.org Inaugural Bash at the Camargo Country Club, we find our Obsessive Compulsive Obama Supporters Tom and Rose applying the finishing touches. “Oh Tom, isn’t it so wonderful that soon-to-be President Barack Hussein Obama plans to announce he is closing the evil GITMO house of torture on the same day he takes back America?” “It is Rose. And it gives me a great idea. Why, when those poor detainees are released you know they will end up all over the world. Everyone could play a game trying to find where they are! Won’t that be so cool? Let’s download a world map!” “Tom, that’s a great idea. Let’s call the game WHERE IN THE WORLD IS KALID SHEIK MUSTAFA?”
Maybe it’ll be like Jay Leno said on Late Night TV: “A spokesman for Obama says that the prisoners at Guantanamo will either be returned to their own countries or entered into the New York City cab drivers program.”
And just in time for the Obamanation, MoveOn.Org is selling Obama Mouse Pads for a mere $18.99, plus who knows how much for shipping and handling.
Finally, from our friend Larry in Yorktown, Virginia, we have a sampling of some of those other 63.5 million dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span voters who voted for the Messiah.
Outraged in Ohio
In Columbus, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders says, Gayvenor Strickland is a former minister, and somehow he hired a guy to head his Office of Faith-Based Initiatives who was involved in gay prostitution, just like Barney Frank did.
“Can you imagine the howling if Boob Taft had hired Robert Eric McFadden, who was the director of Gayvenor Strickland’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives until his transfer to another state job in fall 2007?”
Wait a minute… didn’t the Gayvenor hire a guy in his Congressional office who was arrested for exposing himself to children? And he brought that same guy on a personal trip to Italy? Back then, the FishWrap called Buckwheat Blackwell’s bringing that point up in the campaign “ugly.” Perhaps Jon Craig, the author of this anti-Blackwell hit piece, can follow up on this when he returns from his Gannett-mandated “furlough.” Jonny Boy could also look into Strickland’s pattern of excusing pedophilia by refusing to vote to condemn a pro-pedophilia article in the American Psychological Association journal. You can refresh your memories here. With a male-prostitute staffer, a sex-offender former staffer and travel buddy, and voting with NAMBLA, now you know why Strickland has earned his Official Whistleblower nickname: “Gayvenor!”
After all that “culture of corruption crap,” and complaints about vetting people, you might have expected Dishonest DemocRATs to try to do a better job themselves. With the news media putting its fangs away to welcome a DemocRAT in the White House, switching from attack dog to lapdog, D-RATS from the level of block captain on up know that they don’t have to even pretend to have standards anymore.
Speaking of the Furloughed Fishwrappers, Just Wondering in Cleves asks if The Blower now plans to start calling the Fishwrap something else, since these days there hasn’t been enough paper to wrap your fish.
Speaking of Media Hypocrisy, here’s another “name that party” slip-up by our good buddy Bill Sloat’s former employers at the Pain Dealer: Every time a Republican has a problem, they manage to call him a Republican 8 to 10 times and somehow manage to tie the guy in with Tom Noe or Jack Abramoff and note that they were Republican fund-raisers. One of the crooks named in Pain Dealer article is the chairman of one of the two major political parties. Guess which one?
And speaking of outrages in Ohio, wait till you learn who finally departing Ohio RINO Party Boss Boob Bennett is supporting for Republican National Committee Chairman. We wonder who Boob’s hand-picked replacement Kevin DeWussie will be supporting when all those spineless members of the Central Committee rubber stamp his so-called “election” today.
So let’s see: so far the promotional images of Loser Lobbyist Portman’s campaign are a golden lamb (like when he sacrificed once-red Hamilton County to That Lying Plagiarizing Meddling Overblown Tax-and-Spend RINO Bitch-in-a-Ditch Mean Jean Hoffman Schmidt), a bronze bun (like the buns Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex Triantafilou can’t seem to get in gear at 700 Walnut Street), and a rib (like the rib $tan Che$ley took from the Hamilton County Republican Party to make RINOs). Inspiring work of biblical proportions, Rob! Who’s your campaign manager – John McCain?
And did the Pain Dealer really report that at his photo op at a Cleveland shopping mall, Portman gave a shout out to Lebron James (“I’m glad to be here in the home of the first place Cavaliers.) And was the reporter doing Portman a big favor, when he pointed out in the very next sentence that James campaigned for Democratic President-elect Barack Obama.
The “Second Comment” on that story was particularly interesting, when the writer asked what Portman was doing for that $1 million a year, he’s reportedly getting from the Squire, Sanders & Dempsey law firm, or was that just an early down payment.
And did Devious DemocRAT Hamilton County Commissioner Odd Todd Opportune have the unmitigated chutzpah to complain about Portman’s “coronation” in the Fishwrap, when Skaggie Maggie’s minions have been “coronating Obama every day for the last year and a half? The mind boggles!
And it looks like Thursday’s Toledo Blade picked up on the signing of the buns… something The Blower covered the day before. Of course if Fritz Wenzel were still covering Politics for the Blade, they might not have been scooped by The Blower!
Our Clermont County Crusader wonders if Our Bitch-in-a-Ditch is delusional enough to think that if Portman would ever became a Senator, could she get to be his hand-picked successor there, too. So why, in Carrie Whitaker’s Fishwrap article on Thursday about all those suck-ups endorsing Portman, was our Bitch-in-the-Ditch’s name not included?
CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says not only do you have to worry about paying your jacked-up property taxes by Ground Hog’s Day, our Disingenuous DemocRAT County Auditor (who was permitted to run unopposed by the RINOs at 700 Walnut Street) also says if you don’t renew your dog licenses on time, they’ll publish your name in the newspaper for that offense too. Who cares if your dog died or ran off last year?
Friday Fault Finder Tito Delgato says going to a Bungals game can be a lot of fun. A good tailgate and an exciting game add to the experience. However it seems each year there are more and more opponents’ fans present at the stadium. When Pittsburgh and Cleveland play in Cincinnati the stands are lined with these “exuberant” fans. Thanks to EBay, Stub Hub, Brokers and now fans giving up there Seat Licenses this trend will get even worse. As the Bungals continue to plummet I see a day when the opponents’ fans outnumber the Bungals fans. Sitting amongst those fans is NOT a fun experience, especially during another loss. As the seat License has turned out to be a bad investment many Bengals fans are looking for their Bail Out. Go Figure!!!
Finally, word is The Learning Channel is planning to debut a tasteless new series on February 1 called “Mother Knows Sex.” You’ll never guess which Whistleblower Femme Fatale is the star of the show.
Bluegrass Babes
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says wonders if anyone finds both these articles in the paper at the same time a bit ironic. The first story says “While some states struggle with getting a “highly qualified” teacher in every class, Kentucky ranks among the best.” The second story reported how Dayton High School Teacher Nicole Elizabeth Howell invited a 16-year-old pupil to her MainStrasse home for alcoholic drinks and a little private tutoring; in you know what we mean. We can hardly imagine what’ll be the lead item in Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders award winning e-newsletter next week. The Robster says, “I didn’t know Jeni Lee Dinkel had wanabees.”
Speaking of every high-school boy’s fantasy: KyPolitics.Org reports that Republican circles have been buzzing recently with the news that their ranks might again be bolstered by a Kentucky sports icon. Sources say that former University of Kentucky football star Tim Couch is mulling a run for public office as a member of the GOP. Even better than being a sports icon, the guy is married to the 1999 Playboy Playmate of the Year, and nine years later, she’s still quite a babe.
Speaking of which, does anybody know where former KY Governor Paul Pattin’ Her-on-the-Ass is living these days?
Ken Cam Boo says he sure hopes Judge No Moore in 2010 showed up for the Executive Committee Meeting in Boone County Thursday night, because all leaders should be at the battle when a war is going on. If the leader does not show up to lead the troops, they may abandon their posts. In a related story, word at the restaurants around the courthouse in Burlington is that the DemocRATS in Boone County are forming a group to oppose Judge No Moore in 2010, just to show the Judge that you should never say bad things about the D-RATS and then ask for their votes.
Horny from Hebron wrote to say “No wonder the Fishwrap is in trouble.” In the Thursday edition the front page headlines read “Kentucky ranks among the elite at getting the best in the classroom” next to that read “Teacher accused of abuse” Horny said when he went to school, teachers were so mean, no one would have sex with them, and now they’re ranking them on how good they are.
Finally, Hurley the Historian says on this date in 1920, Prohibition took effect, and tonight, Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith will have a few toddies for their bodies to celebrate, and our Quote for Today Committee chose George Burns’ “It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”
Stories We’re Working On
Bush says “I’m outta here!”
Using an Obameter to track campaign promises
P&G to supply free Charmin for Obama’s Coronation
All the free ribs you can eat at Portman’s Boathouse rally
Boob Bennett stabs Buckwheat Blackwell in the back
Still more people out of work
Not to worry, Obama’s Coronation is coming in only 4 more days
Whistleblower Web Poll
This week, here’s what the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said Obama will do immediately after his “historic” swearing-in ceremony in only 4 more days:
(A) Balance the Budget: 2%
(B) Revive the Economy: 1%
(C) Achieve world peace: 3%
(D) Kick off his re-election campaign: 94%
Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!
Our Long National Nightmare is About to Begin
This week, everybody who says those 63.5 million dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span voters who voted for the Messiah, could be in for a rude awakening, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is noted push pollster Harley Barber, founder of the noted Barber Poll, who says, “Send me lots of money and I’ll tell you what you want to hear.”
Harley wins a “You Can Fool Some of the People All of the Time” T-shirt, a list of 1,001 misleading questions you can ask dumbed-down, self-absorbed, media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct uninformed short-attention-span registered voters, a list of everybody’s cell phone numbers, so people can actually be reached when they’re having dinner a restaurant. And speaking of restaurants, Harley gets a big doggie bag so he can carry all those left-over free ribs from Rob Portman’s BFD announcement at the Boat House Thursday Night. His winning entry is:
With Obama and the Dems in control
You might as well sign up for the dole
If you work for a living
To the poor you’ll be giving
And grabbing your dough is the goal
With Obama and the Dems in control
Socialism will be on a roll
First we’ll have FOCA
Then hate crimes they’ll broker
For the “rights” of perverts we must extol.
With Obama and the Dems in control
The Commies will finally choke our soul.
Will any RINOs object
And our core values select?
No, they’ll just take an opinion poll.
And from the Anderson Laureate we have another Obama-basher:
With Obama and the Dems in control
Your money will disappear down a black hole
We’ll have free abortions
And the po’ will receive their portions
Maybe the rest of us can get in on the dole.
The first line of next week’s Limerick Contest:
“The best part about Obama’s Coronation” 