SUNDAY, MAY 21, 2023



Chinese Military To Just Shout Wrong Pronouns At American Soldiers

Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs.
They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.

 Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it

A guy we’ll call “Tank-Driver Tadwell” wanted to ask Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how PELOSI’S BOY TOY was comparing himself to Patriotic Southwestern like Bird Colonel/ Podiatrist Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup and West Point Graduate Warren Davidson Ohio Eighth District Congressman on Armed Forces Day.

“Most Pitifully,” Kane explained.

Military officials present the new guilt-free, psychologically advanced super-soldier capable of witnessing the deaths of 50 squadmates without emotionally cracking.

WASHINGTON—Touting them as the next stage in modernized combat, representatives for the United States military unveiled today a new line of bionically enhanced “super-soldiers,” capable of withstanding the enormous mental toll of war. 

Commanders introduced the next-generation, biologically modified troops at a press conference in Washington, telling reporters that the elite military personnel has been engineered to mentally withstand limitless amounts of violence and bloodshed on the battlefield, which would then prevent them from experiencing future bouts of paranoia, anxiety, and crippling depression.


War never changes, but strategy always evolves. To maintain our role as a global superpower, the United States military must incorporate woke principles into its strategic framework. Skeptics may dismiss the very idea, but if we don’t adopt woke policies our enemies certainly will. Can you imagine a woke Chinese army? We would be annihilated from the face of the earth! A nation of privileged white men cannot withstand people of color that employ woke stratagem.

Behold, ten advantages of a woke military! Educate yourself, bigots!

1) Military outfits will finally get the fashion attention they deserve: At sunset when the sky is pink, you’ll blend right in with those pretty pink uniforms.

2) It’s pretty tough to shoot someone who’s prancing: It’s why the CIA was unable to assassinate Fidel Castro. Allegedly.

3) Enemies will surrender after seeing how courageously inclusive we are: No one can withstand the might of 3,400 genders united under a mighty pride flag.

4) The enemy can’t shoot transgender troops because that would be a hate crime: America’s UN Ambassador is also working to have it recognized as a war crime.

5) Soldiers will still kill people of color in third-world countries, but at least they’ll maybe feel a little bad about it: All invasions must be handled with the utmost dignity and respect toward the native peoples we blow up.

6) Weapons are only designed to kill two genders: With non-binary and dragonkin on the front lines there will be zero casualties.

7) Female military units will become much stronger with the addition of trans woman combatants: It’s the testosterone. 

8) We will finally be prepared for intercontinental ballistic microaggressions: Countermeasures can be safely launched from Twitter.

9) After they’re defeated and captured, the enemy will be DESTROYED by vicious editorials in the prison camp newsletter: Never underestimate the power of a passive-aggressive editorial team.

10) Maybe the Chinese army will die laughing at us: At the very least their laughter will give away their firing position. Then we can descend upon them with intense shaming.

Aren’t you glad our military is adding weeks onto boot camp to help our servicemembers to get WOKE? 


NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICA L PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINTON POST  REPORTGannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President.

Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?

The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.

But first, we must see a Corleone  Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.

Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 534 (at press time) days before the 2024 elections.


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