“NOT NECESSARILY THE NEWS” (11/18/2022)

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2022
TRUMP’S SIX-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY-SEVENTH-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS

— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —

Christian Nationalism: Worse Than The NAZIS?

Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.

 Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.

A guy we’ll call “Our Good Friend Bobby Leach” wanted to ask Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he was really planning to give “Mean Jean” Schmidt a pass on her “Indelible Nickname” but not her “Turkey Contest Nomination” now that he’s found somebody new to run out of Congress. “It was like I was I was an omnipotent Publisher Again,” Kane said.

TO SEE SLIDESHOW, CLICK HERE

THE ONION

Brought to you by: Good Ranchers

We hope you’re hungry… for nothing! See, you’re not supposed to eat meat anymore, because it’s bad for the planet. Luckily, the World Economic Forum, Bill Gates, and a panel of expert lizard people all got together and came up with these 11 much greener substitutes for meat:

  1. Crickets: This is the obvious one. Snack on some delicious bugs to show you love Mother Earth. Alternatively, become a rich celebrity with a private jet, and you’re OK to eat all the meat you want.
  2. Dirt: Dirt is plentiful, renewable, and clean. Well, it’s two of those things.
  3. Killing yourself: Perhaps the best option for anyone who is truly concerned about humanity murdering the planet in the face.
  4. One of those pretend steaks in a Fisher-Price kitchen playset: On second thought, too much plastic. Go back to #3.
  5. Exile yourself to a remote planet and leave half a cryptic map with your droid and half with some old guy for some reason, and live sustainably off the land by milking the local alien cows: Good for the environment, even if it doesn’t really make sense from a narrative standpoint.
  6. Like, seriously, what a terrible MacGuffin. At least it’s not as bad as Rise of Skywalker, where there’s an ancient Sith knife that’s a map if you hold it up to the wreckage of a battle station that hadn’t even been built or crashed yet and only if you stand at a random spot and even then it just kind of generally points you toward the general area which turns out to be in the Emperor’s throne room which is where you would have LOOKED FOR THE DANG BEACON IN THE FIRST PLACE
  7. Vegetables: These can be a tasty alternative to beef.
  8. Subway tuna: Instead of real meat, eat at Subway.
  9. Those little gummy candy burgers: More environmentally sustainable AND they’re adorable. They have cute little sushi ones too.
  10. Taking mime classes and just pretending to eat: You can also learn to pretend you’re in a box and pull a rope. Mime scientists are still working on a fourth idea of something to mime.
  11. Socialism: The surest way to make sure you don’t ever eat too much.

Well, it’s lunchtime, so this list is over. We’re heading over to the Bee office cafeteria now for an $8 cricket burger.

NOT SATIRE: “Imitation is the greatest form of flattery”, said no one who has eaten a meat alternative… ever. That’s why Good Ranchers isn’t in the alternative meat business. We’re in the business of sourcing the best meat & seafood in America and bringing it right to your door.

Now is the perfect time to change the way you buy meat. We’re running a Black Friday sale you don’t want to miss!

Use code BABYLONBEEF and subscribe today to lock in your price with our best deal of the year. There really are no alternatives to American meat because nothing else even compares.

BABYLON BEENOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORTGannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President. Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?

THE US NATIONAL DEBT

CLICK HERE

And Today Everybody Hereabouts Is Wondering Where Trump’s Next Packed 2022 Mid-Term Save America Rally Will Be

But See The Trumpster’s Official Campaign Website, CLICK HERE

The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.

But first, we must see a Corleone  Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.

Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 719 days before the 2024 elections.