MONDAY, OCTOBER 24, 2022
TRUMP’S SIX-HUNDRED-AND-TFORTY-SECOND-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
Dawn of the Woke Zombies
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
The House Select Committee investigating the Jan. 6 Capitol riot concluded its ninth and potentially final hearing last week with a subpoena of former President Donald Trump. The Onion polled all 330 million Americans for their predictions on what will be the most significant outcome of the Jan. 6 hearings.
So, you’ve learned from Stacey Abrams that you can deal with high food and gas prices by murdering your children – but what other problems in your life could be solved by simply offing your kids? Ms. Abrams has graciously compiled a list of eight other stressors you could have off your back – with a little help from a hitman.
1. Climate change – once you stop those suckers from producing carbon dioxide, you’ll never again worry if you’ve done your part to battle global warming.
2. You have to pack SO much extra crap for vacation – besides, everyone says Disney is more fun without kids. Why shouldn’t it be magical for the person footing the bill, huh?
3. Parent-teacher conferences – no more having to hear about little Johnny talking too much. Because, you know, he’s dead!
4. No one will hog your Legos – kids always take the little hinge pieces that you need, which is uber annoying.
5. Less risk of sorrow – the fewer people you really love and care for, the less your risk of sorrow. What a deal!
6. Having to keep glass on a high shelf – super irritating. Sorry kid, you’re just not worth it.
7. Getting behind on your Netflix shows – with kids out of the picture, binge-watching gratuitous violence has never been easier.
8. People making a fuss when you die – who doesn’t want to be alone in silence on their deathbed?
Wow, thanks Stacey! The state of Georgia sure has been lucky to have you as their rightful governor these past four years!
BABYLON BEE
NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORT
Gannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President.
Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
THE US NATIONAL DEBT
And Today Everybody Hereabouts Is Wondering Where Trump’s Next Packed 2022 Mid-Term Save America Rally Will Be
GET TICKETS HERE
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles 
Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the 15 DAYS BEFORE THIS YEAR’S MID-TERM ELECTIONS ON NOVEMBER 08 unless they’re postponed.
