TODAY IS
SUNDAY, MAY 30, 2021
TRUMP’S ONE-HUNDRED-AND- THIRTIETH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S TODAY’S VIRUS UPDATE

  May 30, 2021
Vol. XXXI: Jimmy, we hardly knew ye…

Dear Friends of Healthier Lives Matter,

Sieg heil! All power to Moloch!

It is my painful duty to inform you that your fearless cryogenic leader, Rev. Jim Jones, has left us for his eternal reward. We are still trying to piece together the details of his tragic demise, but according to a video posted on YouTube by a shadowy white supremacist group with ties to the Trump insurrectionists of January 6, it appears that he was kidnapped by this group, taken to a nursing home in New York City and force-vaccinated with a COVID-19 jab. Fifteen minutes later he collapsed and died, and his body was thrown into a dumpster behind Gracie Mansion.

According to a note pinned to his chest by the kidnappers, Rev. Jim’s last words were:

“DEATH TO RACIST AMERICA! DEATH TO FASCIST AMERICA!”

As you can see, he was true to his mission to the end!

I want to assure you that his remains will be re-frozen and restored with honor to the Soros vault from which it came, and a plaque commemorating his invaluable work for the New World Order placed on a coconut tree on Little St. James Island. And as a final gesture in his memory, I will be establishing a Pedophilia Resource Hotline so that you and our colleagues can keep your social lives fresh and rewarding.

As our dearly departed leader would say, I salute your integrity, authenticity, and intersectionality!

Sieg heil!