TODAY IS
FRIDAY, MAY 21, 2021
TRUMP’S ONE-HUNDRED-AND-TWENTY-FIRST DAY OUT OF OFFICE
AND OHIO GOVERNOR DEWHINE SAYS BANK ROBBERS ARE STILL ALLOWED TO WEAR MASKS

Kung Flu Facemasks: Don’t Leave Home Without Them

This week, everybody who was still bored staying home, wearing a mask, keeping safe distances even from members of his own family during the current coronavirus crisis, and getting all pissed off impatiently waiting for his next Really Big $1,200 Economic Impact Check (hopefully before his jacked-up property taxes are due), personally signed by The Trumpster himself, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.    The winner is Housebound Harry (whose wife has thoroughly convinced him doing the dishes is “not permitted” during the lockdown).

Housebound wins an official “i-Survived The Ohio Lockdown” t-shirt, autographed pictures of Mike DeWhine and Dr. Amy, and head-of-the-line pass to Andy Pappas’ Sex Doll Brothel, now cleaning their Sex Dolls after every customer.

His winning limerick is: 
On The First Day, We’re Allowed To Go Out
We’ll all have good reason to shout
But we’re still out of work
Our governor’s a jerk
And his re-election is really in doubt

Last year, Perturbed In Park Hills Expands The Focus With His Shotgun Sonnet
On The First Day, We’re Allowed To Go Out,
About the following, there’s not a doubt:

In barbershops, bars, stores, and our back yards
We’ll be discussing liberal retards

Who has used this scam-demic to deprive
Us of our rights with their Flu Manchu jive.

The Red Chinese, WHO, Bill Gates, and Soros,
And their professional liars’ chorus,

Have proclaimed us enemies of their State,
So to subdue us they must vaccinate.

When the contract tracer comes to your door
To determine if you might have a spore,

Ask to see the warrant for your arrest.
Whereupon you might politely suggest

That they place their lips firmly on your ass.
And if you happen to emit some gas

The guy in the hazmat suit won’t detect
Your donation to the greenhouse effect.

This Year, The Perturbed One Says
On the First Day, We’re Allowed To Go Out
Will our minds be quaking with fear and doubt?
We’ve been bombarded with CDC lies:
Seasonal flu in pandemic disguise.
America the Germophobe is here,
We’ve watched truth and common sense disappear.
Idiots line up to take deadly shots;
They’re too damned lazy to connect the dots.
Fauci, the new Oracle of Delphi;
Has got bats in his medical belfry.
Gates the psychopath earns 20:1;
His lethal “vaccines” are second to none.
Masks cause brain damage and collect disease
But dictator governors we appease.
What will it take to break this evil spell,
And cast aside the hirelings from hell?
The Deep State jabberwocky is a fraud
Soon criminal indictments we’ll applaud.
Get back to your life from two-oh-one-nine;
The Trump economy was doing fine.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“Each Year At The Taste Of The Natti”