SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2016
TONIGHT’S TOP STORY
Hillary’s Health Just Became A Real Issue In The Presidential Campaign
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen all voters strongly agree that a candidate’s health is an important voting issue, but while most Republicans and unaffiliated voters think the state of Hillary Clinton’s health is worth exploring, the majority of DemocRATS disagree. Only 17% of DemocRATS think Hillary’s health is a legitimate voter concern. 72% think questions about their candidate’s health are just being raised by her opponents to make her look bad.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER says the last time we heard jokes about Hillary’s health were the ones following Jimmy Kimmel’s Pickle jar sketch in August, but we’re sure to hear lots of Hillary’s Health jokes tomorrow night.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says it’s really hard to believe it’s been fifteen years since America was attacked on September 11, 2001, but a few folks hereabouts remember what also happened on this date in 1985, when Cincinnati Reds player-manager Pete Rose got the 4,192nd hit of his career, breaking Ty Cobb’s major league record for career hits.
OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Pete’s “I Should Have Picked Alcohol Or Beat Up My Wife” when he was asked about his gambling problem.
MORE PUTRID POETRY: Last year at this time Obama was celebrating Senate DemocRATS’ putting their Party above the County when they voted to support his Stupid Iran Deal, and we had another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Has become a farce.
Obama told Arizona, “Stick it up your arse.”
He’s put us deep in debt.
Holder is stonewalling
Obama says, “That’s swell.”
Who sold guns to the Mexicans?
The Dems will never tell.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “THE RIGHT TO LIE” our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about how every politician in America is now celebrating how quickly Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black ruled in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER was turning over rocks in Hamilton County this week, and discovered Investigative Reporter Jim McNair (who used to be at the Kentucky Center for Investigative Reporting and is now turning over rocks at CityBeat) said nearly eight years of practicing law on the side has led to some “ethical wormholes” for Charles Foster Kane’s Good Friend, Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters. “How dare McNair do something like that?” said our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher. “If anybody’s going to talk about ‘The Old JayWalker’s’ ethics, it should be us.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #261 is to say to a Liberal, “You remember the Reagan era, when Ronald Reagan was President, and Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were still with us? Well, now we have Obama, no hope, and no cash.
JOHN GALT says, “Happiness is possible only to a rational man, the man who desires nothing but rational goals, seek nothing but rational values and finds his joy in nothing but rational actions.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says investors better be prepared for volatility after Friday’s stock-market rout. September is the worst month of the year for stocks. Hang on. It looks like it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how every politician in America is now celebrating because Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black ruled in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns.
Finney says, “The ruling will save over-taxed payers money, because this is 90% of what the Ohio Elections Commission does. They’ll soon be out of business.”
And Finney ought to know, because how many times did Finney file complaints against “Mean Jean” Schmidt with the same Ohio Elections Commission when that Lying Bitch failed to tell the Truth about one of Finney’s clients?
“What else would you expect from the same Liberal Whacko Judge who ruled in favor of Same Sex Marriage?” Kane asked.
Black’s ruling was “The answer to false statements in politics is not to force silence (by forbidding lies) but to encourage truthful speech in response, and to let the voters, not the Government, decide what the political truth is.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (SEPTEMBER 12) The Blower will probably still be talking about how most people have forgotten the meaning of 9/11, while we’re continuing to count down the 130 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (SEPTEMBER 13) we’ll checking to see if there was any other news about Hillary’s little stumble outside Sunday’s 9/11 ceremonies, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be offering their political diagnoses.
WEDNESDAY (SEPTEMBER 14) we’ll still be trying to figure out why the so-called smartest woman in America with contagious pneumonia would be seen recklessly hugging a child and all those other people at today’s 9/11 ceremony.
THURSDAY (September 15) we’ll be checking to see if DemocRATS have met to discuss Hillary’s replacement.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (September 16) LIMERICK IS “It’s time once again for Oktoberfest.”
AND SATURDAY (September 17) we’ll be celebrating “Constitution Day,” to commemorate the date the Constitution of the United States of America was actually signed. Disingenuous DemocRATS celebrate “Constitution Day” on September 18, the date they first tried to change it.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Hillary, while she’s still alive.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video Of The Day
With the Politically Correct NFL continuing to allow their players to disrespect the National Anthem, the University of Tennessee took on Virginia Tech Saturday night in the second week of college football for the Battle at Bristol. Before a ball was even kicked, Jennifer Nettles started the game off right by delivering a version of the National Anthem that left everyone with chills.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
And The Blower believes the next 58 days will be the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance the Liberal Agenda.
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