SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2016
TONIGHT’S TOP STORY:
FBI Holiday Weekend Document Drop Has Been Devastating To Hillary
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 476, Boorish Barbarians celebrated the Fall of Rome, but Romulus Augustus, the last emperor of the Western Roman Empire, said “It was all Bush’s fault” when he was deposed by Odoacer, depicted here with a Barbarian moustache, who proclaimed himself King of Italy.
OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Dr. Benjamin Carson’s: “The Roman Empire was very, very much like us. They lost their moral core, their sense of values in terms of who they were. And after all of those things converged together, they just went right down the tubes very quickly.” Doctor Carson is a Black Republican many people wish had been elected president instead of Obama.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Hillary’s post-convention lead has disappeared, putting her behind Donald Trump for the first time nationally since mid-July. The latest weekly Rasmussen Reports White House Watch national telephone and online survey shows Trump with 40% support to Hillary’s 39% among Likely U.S. Voters, after Clinton led 42% to 38% a week ago. Hillary’s support has been trending down from a high of 44% in early August just after the Disingenuous DemocRAT National Convention. This is her lowest level of support since mid-July.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER LIKED JIMMY FALLON’S: Donald Trump gave a big speech on immigration last night. And during the speech, he said that Mexico is 100% going to pay for his, quote, “beautiful border wall.” Mexicans were like, “Wait, you never said it was going to be beautiful. Who do we write the check out to?” Rudy Giuliani spoke at Donald Trump’s rally last night after he got back from Mexico and debuted a new campaign hat. This is real. We did not make this up. It reads, “Make Mexico great again also.” They didn’t stop there. They also debuted another hat that says, “Oh, yeah, I guess we better make Canada great again, too, while we’re at it, in addition to the United States and Mexico.”
CONAN O’BRIEN says: Last night, Donald Trump said if he’s elected, he will employ a “deportation task force.” It’s not really necessary, because if he’s elected most people will probably leave voluntarily. In his speech last night, Donald Trump proposed new screening to prevent violent extremists from entering the U.S. In response, Trump’s supporters said, “But we’re already here.” A new poll reveals that supporters of both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are motivated by fear, not excitement. And third-party candidate Gary Johnson supporters are motivated by being related to Gary Johnson. A prominent Latino Trump supporter announced today he is withdrawing his support for Donald Trump. He said, “I would have done it sooner but I just came out of a year-long coma.”
AND JIMMY KIMMEL says: Donald Trump maintains that he will build a [border] wall. A beautiful wall. He keeps saying the wall will be beautiful. You know, there are some people who think we need to build a wall; I don’t think anyone’s requiring that it be beautiful. It seems like a simple basic wall, maybe from IKEA, would do the trick. He also said there will be no amnesty for immigrants who come into this country illegally, which is very bad news for his next three wives.
MORE PUTRID POETRY: This is Labor Day weekend and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Labor Day is on the way,
The workers gather at Coney.
Bash Trump is the game they’ll play
And the speeches will be phony.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “LABOR DAZE” our Patronage County Commissioners were talking about why the Labor Day weekend doesn’t seem to be such a big deal these days. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says as predicted, the Forest Hills school district “Renovate To New” plan is not going to live up to the promises. We had a Report this week, and the following day, some scathing Reader Reaction.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy, #242 says you should tell a joke like Q: How do you starve an Obama supporter? A: Hide his food stamps under his work boots.
JOHN GALT says, “I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says wondered what most people would be thinking during the Eighth Labor Day Weekend during the Age of Obama. A lot of people are probably still wondering where the hell the jobs are Obama promised to work night-and-day ensuring for every American who wanted to work during his first campaign.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY, AT TODAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about Monday’s AFL-CIO Labor Day Picnic at Coney Island, where Crooked Hillary’s Husband, Disgraced Ex-Pants Dropper in Chief Bill Clinton will be blaming Donald Trump and the Republicans. These Dumbed-Down DemocRATS voted for Obama twice and now plan to ignore all those scandals and vote for Hillary. “And you thought African Americans were the only stupid ones,” Kane said.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (SEPTEMBER 5) The Blower will be publishing our Annual “Union Daze” E-dition while we’re continuing to count down the 137 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
TUESDAY (SEPTEMBER 6) we’ll be reporting on what we overheard at Monday’s Labor Day Picnic at Coney Island and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will still be trying to figure out why so many Americans don’t like Union Thugs these days.
WEDNESDAY (SEPTEMBER 7) our Political Junkie we call Cincy Dave says NBC and MSNBC, along with the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans, will host the first live appearance of the two candidates during the campaign in what is being called The Commander-in-Chief Forum. This is scheduled for this coming Wednesday at 8 P.M. It’s not as good as a debate, but maybe it’ll be worth one bag of popcorn.
THURSDAY (September 8) we’ll be checking to see the next Hillary scandal. We’re sure there’ll be a new one by then.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (September 9) LIMERICK IS “When you watch the Bungals this year.”
AND SATURDAY (September 10) we’ll probably not be going downtown for a free ride on the Stupid Streetcar.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Cincinnati’s Affirmative Action Ex-Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell, since it’s been a year since Cincinnati’s City Mangler “Baltimore Harry” Black fired his ass.
And we wonder if Blackwell ever found any employment opportunities out of town, as these Award Winning Illustrations from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly show.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video Of The Day
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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