SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2022
TRUMP’S SIX-HUNDRED-AND-FORTY-EIGHTH-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
Enraged Twitter Employees Form Elon-Free Autonomous Zone
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
TO SEE SLIDESHOW, CLICK HERE
We have all had to hold back on Twitter over the past several years, as even the most benignly contrarian take could land you in Twitter jail. Well, it’s finally sinking in that Elon Musk has taken the helm, and here are ten controversial things you can now say on Twitter to prove it:
1. Popeye’s food is actually on par with Chick-Fil-A – no longer banned from Twitter, but will still get you sent straight to Hell.
2. The whole COVID origin theory of ‘Chinese guy eating a bat’ is not only false, but kind of racist – been saving that one for a looong time.
3. Nickelback had some decent songs – don’t pretend you thought Nickelback was lame the whole time they were selling FIFTY MILLION albums. We’re on to you!!
4. Sorry, but your mom just isn’t beautiful – bring that truth train, Jordan Peterson!
5. Black Panther was just ok – Whew, that feels good to finally say out loud.
6. The Babylon Bee writers are unbelievably charming and handsome – no really, it’s ok to say this now! Try it!
7. The 75,000,000 great American Patriots who voted for me will have a GIANT VOICE long into the future – we still can’t believe that of all the things Trump said, this was what got him banned.
8. Supporters of radical transgender ideology are weak-minded people so desperate to fit in that they have debased their own intellect to a degree that they are now literally dumber than an average 2-year-old, and furthermore, so morally dead inside that they do not care how their so-called ‘allyship’ foments child abuse and millions of teens suffering severe psychological trauma – yeesh, at least there wasn’t the word ‘groomer’ in there.
9. Ok, groomer – BOOM!
10. All of us are hopeless sinners in need of a savior, and only by the redeeming blood of Jesus Christ can we be saved – we hear this has occasionally caused a stir even pre-Twitter!
Give them each a try for yourself!
BABYLON BEE
NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORT
Gannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President.
Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
THE US NATIONAL DEBT
AND TODAY EVERYBODY HEREABOUTS IS WONDERING IF OUR FECKLESS FISHWRAPPERS WILL BE SHOWING THE CROWD SIZE FOR TRUMP’S MAGA RALLY IN ANDERSON TOWNSHIP TO HELP FIRST OHIO DISTRICT CONGRESSMAN STEVE CHABOTHEAD DEFINE HIS NEW CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles 
Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the NINE DAYS BEFORE THIS YEAR’S MID-TERM ELECTIONS ON NOVEMBER 08 unless they’re postponed.
