“NOT NECESSARILY THE NEWS” (08/05/2022)

FRIDAY, AUGUST 04
TRUMP’S FIVE-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY-FIRST-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS

— TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
Frightening But 100% True Facts About Guns

Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.

 Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.

THE ONION

It seems like every telecommunications company in the world has gone WOKE!

Not good!

How can you call your spouse or leave a voicemail for your grandma without supporting a woke corporation? Here are 10 surefire methods:

  1. Carrier pigeon: We’re pretty sure the pigeons haven’t gone woke… yet.
  2. Use two cans and a string: Then maybe you can build a vast network of cans and strings! Just don’t get them tangled.
  3. Fire your AR15 into the air in Morse code: This is how people in Kentucky have communicated for centuries.
  4. Hollerin’ :  Also the preferred method in Kentucky, for people too poor to own AR15s.
  5. Rearrange the wooden letter signs in Hobby Lobby to form a message: Then pray fervently that your intended target walks in and reads it before the workers rearrange the display.
  6. American Sign Language: Only visible from far away if you have big, beautiful Trump-sized hands.
  7. Ask a Navajo Indian to put your message in code and deliver it for you: Just make sure he isn’t a fan of CRT.
  8. Beg Elon Musk to purchase your wireless provider: He’ll unwokeify that corporation real quick! Until he changes his mind and backs out.
  9. Play the Telephone Game: Just like journalists at the Washington Post!
  10. Talk to all your friends exclusively on Truth Social: As long as you don’t mind the FBI monitoring everything you say.

Well, there you have it! If none of these methods work, you could always start your own telecommunications company. Easy!

NOT SATIRE: Patriot Mobile, America’s ONLY Christian conservative wireless provider, is the ONLY alternative to woke mobile.

We deliver dependable nationwide wireless service to our members, which allows us to fight for our God-given rights and Christian conservative values. In 2022, we’re donating more than $2 million dollars to organizations that fight for our first amendment rights, second amendment rights, the sanctity of life, and our veterans and first responders.

Make the switch today to receive free activation (code: BABYLONBEE), nationwide dependable coverage, support from our 100% US-based team, and the peace of mind that your money is going to a company that LOVES God and this country. We’re actively working every day to support Christian conservative causes.

Learn more at www.patriotmobile.com/babylonbee or give us a call at 972-PATRIOT.

BABYLON BEE

NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORTGannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President. 

Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?

THE US NATIONAL DEBT

 

via GIFER

— MAKE AMERICA GREAT UPDATE —

DRIVE TO TRUMP’S SAVE AMERICA RALLY IN WAUKESHA, WISCONSIN

GET TICKETS HERE

— TRUMP ON TOUR —

Trump is slated to deliver the keynote address in Dallas, Texas, at the upcoming Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) event this Saturday, crowning a stellar lineup of conservative stars who will preface the 45th president’s anticipated remarks. 

The Dallas conference will feature its notable GOP presidential nomination straw poll, which will include Trump, as well as 20 Republicans.President Donald 

The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.

But first, we must see a Corleone  Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.

Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the 96 DAYS BEFORE THIS YEAR’S MID-TERM ELECTIONS ON NOVEMBER 08 unless they’re postponed.