WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 12
TRUMP’S THREE-HUNDRED-AND- FIFTY-SEVENTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S BABYLON BEE VIDEO —
Unvaccinated Man Feeling Left Out As All His Vaccinated Friends Have COVID
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
War never changes, but strategy always evolves. To maintain our role as a global superpower, the United States military must incorporate woke principles into its strategic framework. Skeptics may dismiss the very idea, but if we don’t adopt woke policies our enemies certainly will. Can you imagine a woke Chinese army? We would be annihilated from the face of the earth! A nation of privileged white men cannot withstand people of color that employ woke stratagem.
Behold, ten advantages of a woke military! Educate yourself, bigots!
1) Military outfits will finally get the fashion attention they deserve: At sunset when the sky is pink, you’ll blend right in with those pretty pink uniforms.
2) It’s pretty tough to shoot someone who’s prancing: It’s why the CIA was unable to assassinate Fidel Castro. Allegedly.
3) Enemies will surrender after seeing how courageously inclusive we are: No one can withstand the might of 3,400 genders united under a mighty pride flag.
4) The enemy can’t shoot transgender troops because that would be a hate crime: America’s UN Ambassador is also working to have it recognized as a war crime.
5) Soldiers will still kill people of color in third-world countries, but at least they’ll maybe feel a little bad about it: All invasions must be handled with the utmost dignity and respect toward the native peoples we blow up.
6) Weapons are only designed to kill two genders: With non-binary and dragonkin on the front lines there will be zero casualties.
7) Female military units will become much stronger with the addition of trans woman combatants: It’s the testosterone.
8) We will finally be prepared for intercontinental ballistic microaggressions: Countermeasures can be safely launched from Twitter.
9) After they’re defeated and captured, the enemy will be DESTROYED by vicious editorials in the prison camp newsletter: Never underestimate the power of a passive-aggressive editorial team.
10) Maybe the Chinese army will die laughing at us: At the very least their laughter will give away their firing position. Then we can descend upon them with intense shaming.
Aren’t you glad our military is adding weeks onto boot camp to help our servicemembers to get WOKE?
NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODY FOX NEWS STORY
Keystone Cop Who Killed Ashli Babbitt Cleared Of Wrongdoing Without Sitting For An Interview…
Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
STILL OUR PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP’S EVENT IN FLORENCE, AZ WILL BE BROADCAST LIVE HERE
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 111 days before this year’s elections on May 03.
