WEDNESDAY, MAY 17, 2017

Happy International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia Day, Everybody!

         At least that’s what Obama’s White House claimed last year in this Official Statement: “Michelle and I join our fellow Americans and others around the world in commemorating the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia on May 17.  We take this opportunity to reaffirm that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) rights are human rights, to celebrate the dignity of every person, and to underscore that all people deserve to live free from fear, violence, and discrimination, regardless of whom they choose to sodomize.”

Today’s big day must’ve caught everybody by surprise, since we didn’t even see a single word about “Homophobia and Transphobia Day” anywhere on the front page of today’s Fishwrap, since our Feckless Fishwrappers were probably too busy following up on last night’s sneak attack by the Destroy Trump Media, where the New York Times claimed President Trump had asked then FBI director James Comey to close down his investigation into General Michael Flynn. 

Our Gregarious Grammarian says the word should be “whom,” not “who,” but for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, as Mrs. Bill Clinton might say, “What difference would that make?”

Over at Citizens for Community Values, whoever the replacement for former Homophobic Transphobe-in-Chief Phil Burr-ess didn’t even have a chance to blast out a fund-raising e-mail to protest today’s event.

At Cincinnati City Hall, Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback didn’t have time to organize a rally at on Fountain Square.

RINO Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Sodomy” Portman didn’t mention a word about today’s “Homophobia and Transphobia Day,” since he’s so busy worrying about what Trump might have told the Russians, even as Ohio First District Conservative Congressman Steve Chabothead was busy blogging about yesterday’s Comey Memo.

CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters didn’t even think to include pot-smoking hermaphrodites that time he announced he was supporting the legalization of marijuana.  

Whistleblower Alternate Life-Style Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis said last night prancing perverts didn’t know the first thing about today’s “Homophobia and Transphobia Day” celebration at Simon Says, one of the oldest gay bars in Cincinnati, frequented by some of the oldest gay patrons in town.

In Anderson, Forrest Gump School Board Members said it was OK to put up flyers promoting “Homophobia and Transphobia Day in all their transsexual-inclusive restrooms and locker rooms..”

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says the Florence Freedom didn’t have time to order 30,000 Homophobe and Transphone Bobble Butt Dolls to give away at tonight’s opening game.

Also In Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo remembers two years ago, right before the 2015 Primary Elections, when Conservative Blogger Michael Adams leaked accusations that the Republican Gubernatorial Candidate had abused a left-handed Lithuanian Lesbian in College, and that Matt Bevin once attended a cock fight where gay guys were fighting with their cocks.

Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says according to a recent Gallup survey, less than 1% (actually only .8 %) is part of a same-sex couple, but Political Correctness dictates that .8% of the population may tell the other 99.2% how  to live.

Meanwhile, The Blower remembers when former President George W. Bush delivered his first commencement speech since he left the White House at Southern Methodist University. While defending religious liberty in the aftermath of the gay marriage legislation debate in states such as Indiana and Arkansas, Bush remarked, “It is essential for the nation’s future that we remember that the freedom to worship who we want, and how we want – or not to worship at all – is a core belief of our founding.”

We are going to have lunch at Chick Fil A today, not to celebrate “Homophobia and Transphobia Day,” but we wanted to eat there since it was closed when we drove by on Sunday. 

Now let’s all sing “Homophobia and Transphobia Day” song, and if you don’t join in, we’ll call you a homophobe.