SUNDAY, MAY 7, 2016
A Special Report From Our Cunning Linguist

Ever since Monday night’s opening monologue when Stephen Colbert got into more than a little bit of trouble with that old “Cock Holster” joke, professional comedy writers at The Blower have been trying to come up with a way for the CBS Late Night Comedian to clean up his act, especially after Colbert admitted the next time he tells a “Trump Blow Job Joke on network TV,” he plans to “use different words.”

“One thing’s for sure,” explained our good friend Bobby Leach, “Colbert would certainly have a lot of great words to choose from.”

The On Line Slang Dictionary has 71 words that mean the same thing as “Blow Job” and 109 words for “Go Down On” and not one of them is “Cock Holster.”

For a real mouthful, the Thought Catalogue has 100 Whacky Ways to Say “Blow Job” and not one of them is “Cock Holster.”

And this will blow your mind, the Urban Thesaurus has 1,275 words for “BlowJob” and not one of them is “Cock Holster.”

Meanwhile, the Urban Dictionary not only defines “Blow Job,” but there’s a video where Pornstar Raylene will explain how to give a great blowjob like an actual porn-hd.xxx professional. No Kidding! The last time we looked, that video only had 11,271,959 views