Daily Archives: July 6, 2023

“NOT NECESSARILY THE NEWS” (07/05/2023)

WEDNESDAY, JULY 05, 2023
TRUMP’S EIGHT-HUNDRED-AND-NINETY-SIXTH-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE

AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS

— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —

Alien Confused As Earth Leaders Try To Explain All The Human Genders


Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs.
They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.

 Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it

A guy we’ll call “TRANS-TAMER Tadwell” wanted to ask Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if PELOSI’S BOY TOY flew the Gay Flag during Cincinnati’s June’s Gay Pride Month at his inconveniently located office in Lebanon, Ohio.

“Just like when he was at Cincinnati City Hall,” Kane explained.

TO START SLIDESHOW, CLICK HERE

THE ONION

Brought To You ByWith the Fourth of July behind us, we as a nation can finally return to topless men twerking on the lawn of the White House as part of America’s fabulous Summer of Pride, just like the Founding Fathers envisioned.

If you’re one of the far-right extreme MAGA-T Republicans who love America and think showing affection for our country is more than just a drunken BBQ on the Fourth and a wicked hangover on the fifth, here are a few ways to continue your disgusting patriotism all year round.

  1. Say the Pledge of Allegiance:The pledge is hate speech. And there you are, just saying it like a far-right person. Shame on you.
  2. Do something heterosexual:If you’re a man and you have a wife and you like each other, you’re pretty much a Q’ANON stooge. Cis love is fascist love, you pig.
  3. Push a commie out of a helicopter: Actually, this one’s not that extreme. We’re pretty sure everyone can get behind this.
  4. Put an “I did that” sticker on a gas pump: It will always be funny. Do your part, citizen.
  5. Cry openly when Heath Ledger dies during The Patriot: Then let your tears fall into American soil so that the Tree of Liberty may grow.
  6. Get bitten by a radioactive bald eagle so you can become “America Man”: There should be a few radioactive eagles flying out of Ukraine soon, just keep your eyes out.
  7. Eat a hamburger made of non-plant-based meat: The Founding Fathers were stuffy white men who ate the flesh of innocent animals. Be like them by eating a mondo burger in front of your vegetarian cousin Alex while making groaning sounds. Bonus points if you spill grease on his lap.
  8. Drink a lemonade on the porch swing while watching your 7 kids play in the sprinkler: Your heart will swell with pride and gratefulness for the blessings you enjoy in America. Congratulations–you’re a fascist.
  9. Punch a groomer: Pushing them out of helicopters also works.
  10. Read this list in The Babylon Bee: Congratulations, at least you did one of these things!

BABYLON BEE

NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICA L PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINTON POST  REPORTGannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President.

Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?

— MAKE AMERICA GREAT UPDATE —

The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.

But first, we must see a Corleone  Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.

Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 488 (at press time) days before the 2024 elections.