TODAY IS
MONDAY, MARCH 18, 2019
Trump’s 787th Day In Office
If Tonight’s Award-Winning Late-Night Monday E-dition Only Included Other Satirical Web Pages, The Blower’s “Monday’s Message” Might Look Something Like This:
Get Your MAGA Rally Tickets HERE.
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TONIGHT’S 2020 D-RAT CANDIDATE UPDATE
FEATURING TONIGHT: KAMALA HARRIS
Trump: ‘Any Shooting Actually Inspired By Me Would Have Left Thousands Dead’
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— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
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— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
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Trump Orders Two Immigrants Deported for Each Arrival
New York City Announces Free Healthcare For All
NEW YORK (Big Hairy News) – New York City will begin guaranteeing comprehensive health care to every single resident regardless of someone’s ability to pay or immigration status according to Mayor Bill De Blasio.
“It’s not health insurance,” his spokesman clarified after the surprise announcement on MSNBC Tuesday morning. “This is the city paying for direct comprehensive care like we have an endless supply of money that will never run out.”
De Blasio said the plan will provide primary and specialty care, from pediatrics to OBGYN, geriatric, mental health and especially abortions, to anyone who doesn’t have insurance.
In possibly related news, The states of Texas and Arizona have announced the implementation of free one-way bus service to New York City for undocumented immigrants. The trip includes free meals and toys for the children.
In other possibly-related news, five of America’s largest health insurers announced on Tuesday that they will cease doing business in New York City and surrounding areas.
TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HEREOhio’s Delusional Ex-Governor John Kasich’s 2020 Campaign 
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The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture.
That’s because Mid-Term Elections were a National Election, a referendum on everything Trump has accomplished, and Congress, the Deep State, the Radical Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance their Radical Leftist Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s Seventh 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Was Day Number 787 And There Are Now Only 595 More Days Until Trump’s Re-Election Day on November 3, 2020. 