MONDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2016

We Won’t Endorse….
by Charles Foster Kane
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher

           
Before every election, The Whistleblower-Newswire is always deluged with calls, faxes, text messages, and e-mails asking which candidates and issues we plan to endorse. As the official publication for all that scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing which will be forever known as Indecision 2016, our readers have every right to expect nothing less. But the fact that only one day before this year’s rigged elections, after all of our penetrating reporting and scathing commentary, there can be any doubt about which candidates or issues we might cheer or jeer is further tribute to the astounding even-handedness of our always fair-and-balanced journalism.

But political scientists are puzzled: How can elected officials be caught lying, tell more lies the next day, and the press won’t even hold them accountable? But as Crooked Hillary says, “What different does it make, anyway,” after our Avaricious Attorney from COAST Chris Finney successful argued for a politician’s Right to Lie before the U.S. Supreme Court two years ago.

Unlike the so-called mainstream news media like our Feckless Fishwrappers, whose totally discredited political endorsements by their rubber-stamping idiotirial board and news coverage are so often interchangeable, The Whistleblower continues to present facts, opinions, viewpoints, and analyses on all sides of an issue. On rare occasions we even attempt to use humor or sarcastic satire to make a point. We trust our readers are intelligent enough to come to an informed decision. 

And since we never accept advertising, and have no sponsors nor special interests to dictate their extreme prejudices, we wouldn’t insult the Persons of Consequence who are our subscribers by presuming they’re not bright enough and sufficiently critical to evaluate what we’ve presented, along with everything else they’ve seen, read, heard, and smelled so they can make up their own minds.

Let’s face it: Prostitutes in the Press and trash-talkers on the radio will take money to promote both sides of any contest or issue, whether they believe them or not. They’ll always ignore false claims in lying, last-minute desperate negative attack ads from despicable candidates, as long as those commercials are paid-for-in-advance. There’s no limit on how much money they’ll accept from anyone, all in the name of promoting “free” speech. We wouldn’t be surprised if Tuesday’s turnout would be a lot lower than our Kneepad Liberals in the Press are predicting.

Therefore, The Blower won’t make political endorsements, either for candidates or issues. We’re doing our job. Now it’s time for you to get off your fat couch-potato asses and do yours.

Remember the prophetic words of Jesse “The Body” Ventura: “If you don’t vote, you’ll be leaving the decision to someone even dumber than you are.”

Also try to remember what those Loony Libertarians always say: A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. People who don’t stand for something will fall for anything. No matter the outcome, you should never ever vote for a candidate you don’t really believe in.

The Biggest Loser of the 2016 Presidential election is, of course, the Corrupt News Media, which The Blower has only been complaining about for the past twenty-five years. And regardless of the outcome of tomorrow’s ugliest election in modern history, Hurley the Historian predicts consequences for America are still foreboding. The nation is nearly $20 Trillion in Debt and the struggle for the soul of our once great nation will must continue.

So with only “one” more day until the 2016 Elections, it’s just like what our Unlicensed Anderson Laureate submitted last week to the Whistleblower’s Weekly Limerick Contest:

          This year when the Elections are done
          I’ll be sad ’cause it ain’t been much fun
          Tim Burka’s laughing and smirking
          Alex’s BS still isn’t working
          Why couldn’t he find someone like Lincoln to run?

 ELECTION FRAUD HOT LINE

e-mail your criminal complaints today.

 Some political vote-frauding items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vote-frauding subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

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