MONDAY, APRIL 03, 2023
TRUMP’S EIGHT-HUNDRED-AND-THIRD-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
Chinese Military To Just Shout Wrong Pronouns At American Soldiers
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
A guy we’ll call “Trash-Talker Tadwell” wanted to ask Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why PELOSI’S BOY TOY was not criticized for using the word “fucking” in his official Congressional Comment.
“Maybe he was JUST practicing for an upcoming town hall meeting,” Kane explained.
TO START SLIDE SHOW, CLICK HERE
Now that former President Trump has officially been indicted, everyone wants to know how this whole ordeal will unfold. Here are the nine things that will be happening next:
- Trump will take the best, most beautiful mugshot the world has ever seen- that NFT is going to be YUGE.
- The entire NYPD will wait in line to take selfies with him- it’s tough being a hated criminal.
- Trump will be stripped nude and marched through the city with a pagan priest yelling “shame!” and ringing a bell – pretty standard.
- Trump’s lawyers will file to dismiss the case on the grounds that a man and his mistress can’t be charged with the same crime- checkmate, Alvin!
- The judge will then determine Trump’s guilt by having him tossed into the Hudson to see if he floats- luckily, Big Macs are pretty buoyant.
- Trump will be thrown in jail, where Epstein’s prison guards will be called out of retirement for one last mission – uh oh!
- Dementors will attempt to suck Trump’s life force away, but he will ward them off with a patronus of himself- we hear it takes the shape of a buffalo.
- Trump will escape prison by slowly tunneling his way out behind a poster of Stormy Daniels- brilliant.
- Every other politician will also be arrested for their crimes- hahahaha just kidding!
It’s going to be a wild few weeks! Buckle up!!
NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICA L PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINTON POST REPORT
Gannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President.
Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles 
Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 581 (at press time) days before the 2024 elections.
