SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2016

TONIGHT’S TOP STORY

WIKILEAKS UPDATE: Today’s top leaks include Hillary’s team admits to knowing of classified material in emails, a Top Clinton staffer says Hillary and Bill “have the worst judgment,” Turkish President Erdogan’s team may be donating to Democrats, the Clintons are backstabbers according to a close ally, and Hillary’s campaign was writing Hillary’s “off-the-cuff remarks” for “off the record” Trump protest.

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Most voters see America as a divided nation and only expect things to get worse over the next year no matter who the next president is, plus 48% Of Voters Believe the FBI Email Investigation will reveal ‘Damaging Information’ About Hillary.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on Halloween in 1938, Charles Foster Kane lookalike Orson Welles caused a nationwide panic with his broadcast of “War of the Worlds”— a realistic radio dramatization of a Martian invasion of Earth, and every day our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane tries to cause a similar tri-state panic about tax increases during the Obama Depression.

TODAY’S QUOTE IS FROM NEWT GINGRICH, who compared Hillary’s FBI revelation to the notorious scandal that rocked Richard Nixon after his landslide 1972 second-term victory, forcing him to resign less than two years after his election. “Hillary is at least 50 times bigger a scandal than Watergate. It’s not even close to being the same,” said Gingrich. “If she were by some miracle to win – or anti-miracle, I should say – none of these people are going to accept that. None of these people are going to say, ‘I guess she wasn’t a crook, I guess she wasn’t a liar.’” He added: “A vote for Hillary is a vote for four years of constant investigation.”

WEDNESDAY NIGHT BEFORE THE FECAL MATERIAL HIT THE OSCILLATOR, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER said JIMMY FALLON said Happy birthday to Hillary Clinton, who turned 69 years old today — while Donald Trump said, “The media is reporting that today is Hillary’s birthday, but a lot of people are telling me that it’s actually MY birthday. Rigged!”

CONAN O’BRIEN said: In an interview, Newt Gingrich accused Megyn Kelly of being more interested in sex than public policy. Then Kelly explained that everyone is more interested in sex than public policy.

JAMES CORDEN said: Hillary’s birthday party is just like any other birthday party except when people yell “speech, speech,” she charges them $250,000.

JIMMY KIMMEL said: Bill Clinton is trying to figure out what his official title would be if his wife becomes president. Hillary has said that she likes the term first gentleman. She hasn’t been able to say it without laughing but she likes the term.

SETH MEYERS said: Happy birthday to Hillary Clinton, who turned 69 today. She made a wish, and then deleted the candles.

AND STEPHEN COLBERT said: Last night, former Speaker Newt Gingrich was asked by Megyn Kelly if Trump is a sexual predator. Gingrich accused Kelly of being more fascinated with sex than public policy. First off, everybody is more fascinated with sex than public policy. If you’re not, there’s a pill for that now.

Meanwhile, Saturday Night Live took the night off last night to rest up before the big election week episode, and to go to Halloween parties.

MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Election Day is nearly here and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the the Bard of Cleves.

Wake Me When It’s Over
Barack be nimble
Barack be quick
Barack be history
In only 82 more freaking days.

IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED TITLED Political Promotion Patronage County Commissioners were considering a proposal to generate a little extra income for some needy people at the courthouse when Swindle Advertising was awarded the right to sell advertising displays on rest room walls in all county buildings. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols. But it did appear as part of The Muckraker series, in something called The Zinzinnati News in July 1981 (whatever the hell that was).

MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER has been following the fine work of Former Fishwrapper, Investigative Reporter Jim McNair (who used to be at the Kentucky Center for Investigative Reporting and is now turning over rocks at CityBeat). Recently, McNair has gone after some of the folks at the Hamilton County Courthouse (“JayWalking Joe” Deters, Robert Goering, and Tracy Winkler), Congressman/Podiatrist “Bronze Star” Brad” Wenstrup, and this week, Globe-trotting Congressman Steve Chabothead.

LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ #309 is tell them is instead of referring to Obama as POTUS (President of the United States, it should be COOTUS (Community Organizer of the United States).

JOHN GALT says, “The symbol of all relationships among such men, the moral symbol of respect for human beings, is the trade…A trader is a man who earns what he gets and does not give or take the undeserved.”.”

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Stocks had a mixed performance last week. As third-quarter earnings season hit full-speed, the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJINDICES:^DJI) eked out a tiny gain while the broader S&P 500 (SNPINDEX:^GSPC) fell by 0.7%. Both indexes remain roughly 4% higher so far in 2016. The big economic news of the coming week will likely be from the Federal Reserve as it completes its monetary policy meeting on Wednesday. The Fed isn’t expected to boost rates at this event, but it may signal a hike in the cards for its December meeting.

THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others.

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Now Plan To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why FBI Director James Comey reopened Hillary’s E-Mail investigation. “Comey was getting nervous that there is so much crap was continuing to fall,” Kane explained, “that the FBI was filled with agents who think he is a pathetic tool of the crooked Obama/Clinton/Loretta Lynch cabal……that they are bringing more and more information on Hillary’s corruption that he felt he was becoming increasingly cornered. Comey’s letter to Congress, reopening the investigation, is one of the most profound CYAs in political history.”

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially those Hillary’s Husband Bill Clinton, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.

Whistleblower Guest Column and Election Letter Policy

Here are The Blower’s guidelines for elections-related guest columns and letters to the editor. Columns must be no more than 100 words, but letters may be up to 57 words. All letters and columns are subject to extreme editing. Columns must include a color nude photo (jpg format) and a complete background check of the author. For levies and ballot issues, we will run one column opposed to the issue and one column against. Columns should be from official anti-levy groups.  

IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?

Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.

            This week we’re featuring Juanito Rameriz, a lonely little 9-year-old Latino lad who lived in squalor with his family in one of WESTCO’s dilapidated buildings in Lower Price Hill, and how he dreamed of one day meeting his hero Anthony Munoz.

AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

MONDAY (OCTOBER 31) The Blower will be covering Donald Trump’s rally in Cedar Rapids while we’re continuing to count down the 81 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.

TUESDAY (NOVEMBER 1) we’ll be watching Crooked Hillary’s campaign scrambling to respond to James Comey’s renewed FBI investigation, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be all over that.

WEDNESDAY (NOVEMBER 2) we’ll be checking out the latest Wikileaks revelations, wondering if we’ve at last seen the one that’ll get Hillary indicted.

THURSDAY (NOVEMBER 3) we’ll be having so much fun, we’ll wish this campaign could go on for at least another month.

THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (NOVEMBER 4) LIMERICK IS “This year when the Elections are done”

AND SATURDAY (NOVEMBER 5) we’ll be checking our mailbox for all that last-minute political advertising.

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.

WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

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And The Blower believes the next nine days will be the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance the Liberal Agenda.