— Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda —
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
— TONIGHT’S BIG STORY —
Q: WHAT HAPPENED?
A: CROOKED HILLARY HAPPENED
— HANNITY SHOWS US CROOKED HILLARY’S EXCUSES —
(SO FAR)
— TONIGHT’S MOCKING HILLARY VIDEOS —
MARK STEYN: Hillary Is Like “O.J. Looking For Real Killers”
(Tonight’s Best Zinger)
JIMMY KIMMEL: Hillary Clinton Blames Bernie Sanders for Election Loss
HLN Host Hilariously Mocks Hillary Clinton And Her New Book
She Destroys Hillary’s New Book
What Happened Hillary? You Happened
Hillary Clinton’s Ghost Written Comedy “What Happened” Shows She Can’t Even Read Her Own Lies
Kurtz: Clinton Puzzled By Anger Aimed At Her
Hillary Not Doing Well On New Book Tour
MARK DICE: MSNBC Reporter Admits She’s Emotionally Scarred from Trump Forever
— TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM BIG HAIRY NEWS —
Mystery Sea Monster Washes Up On Shore
Experts are struggling to identify a bizarre creature that washed ashore following Hurricane Harvey. The freakish creature was spotted decaying on a beach in Texas City, Texas, once the super storm had cleared (below).
Mysterious creature left behind my Hurricane Harvey (API
TO SEE MORE FROM BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE
—TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE —
BLM Mobilizes Hurricane Relief
BLM has rapidly organized squads of citizens to rescue Ft. Lauderdale’s supply of footwear from rising storm surges – just in case floodwaters come into the stores in affected areas.
The staff and owners had prepared their stores for the storm’s onslaught, but the BLM teams determined that the footwear was not safe, so must be removed and brought to safety.
The BLM teams are understaffed, therefore, bookstores and libraries cannot be helped. Work boots were also left behind.
We applaud their efforts to ensure that these valuable resources do not go to waste in this time of tragedy and are pleased to see our protected class self-organizing and springing into action.
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S REPORT FROM THE BABYLON BEE —
Report: 78% Of Marital Problems Now Caused By HGTV Home Renovation Shows
U.S.—A stunning new study just published by LifeWay Research found that up to 78% of all marital fights and problems come from watching home renovation shows on HGTV.
“Most fights used to be about things like finances or kids, but now settling in to watch other people do a great job renovating their homes while your own house is falling apart is the number one cause,” the study’s administrator, Dr. Wes Contrero told reporters Wednesday. “It seems that watching Chip and Joanna Gaines renovate a $20,000 fixer-upper into a gorgeous home has caused irreparable tension in millions of marriages across the country.”
Contrero further indicated that most of the marital fights observed during the study occurred as the wife began to passive-aggressively utter phrases like “that looks really easy” and “I bet you could do that this Saturday,” before searching online retailers to see how much shiplap costs.
TO SEE MORE BABYLON BEE STORIES, CLICK HERE
— NOW HERE’S TONIGHT’S FAKE NEWS FUN FROM THE ONION —
New Clinton Memoir: “We All Made Mistakes But You Made Most Of Them”
NEW YORK—In candid excerpts released Wednesday from her forthcoming memoir What Happened, Hillary Clinton reflects on her unsuccessful 2016 presidential bid, revealing to readers, “We all made mistakes, but you made most of them.” (MORE)
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
The divide between the left and right is widening in America. Instead of rational debate, we’re seeing more vitriol and trench digging. The mainstream media and the left want President Trump impeached. Their bogus ‘Russia’ narrative has unravelled, so now they’re calling Trump’s supporters ‘Nazis’ or ‘white supremacists.’ This is nothing but hysteria and completely ludicrous, but I’ve experienced similar attacks for years. I’m a libertarian cartoonist, but many on the left seem to think that makes me a ‘Nazi.’ No—we libertarians despise socialism in any form! (MORE)
MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Wednesday Is Day Number 238. There Are Now Only 1,146 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.
