Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda 
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2017
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
— TONIGHT’S TOP STORIES —
Sessions Directs Prosecutors To ‘Evaluate Certain Issues’ Involving Uranium One And Clinton, Leaves Door Open On Special Counsel
Every Female Family Feud Constant Claims: Richard Dawson Kissed Me
Several thousand former female Family Feud contestants have come forward to join the #MeToo movement. In a unprecedented event, the late Family Feud host Richard Dawson has been caught in archived footage kissing female contestants on the lip. “I should have come forward decades ago, but I must speak out now,” said one contestant. “He had bad breath and I felt icky afterwards.” Meanwhile, Dawson was unavailable for comments.
— Tonight’s Sight-And-Sound Bites —
Tonight’s Top Three Whistleblower Political Posters From Today’s Toons
— TONIGHT’S NEW BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
Trump Christmas List 
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
— HERE’S HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FAKE NEWS SITE —
— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM SATIRICAL WEB SITES —
China: After Michelle, Melania A Goddess
Chow Mein, China (Big Hairy News) – President and First Lady Trump arrived in China Wednesday to a royal welcome replete with marching bands and hundreds of fawning children yelling “We ruv rou!”
Chinese newspapers gushed over Melania’s beauty and style, comparing her favorably to her predecessor: “Compared to the last U.S. president’s wife, Mrs. Trump is a dignified and beautiful goddess who will not lecture us to ‘drink more water’ or ‘move.'”
TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
Another Actress Accuses Kirk Cameron Of Treating Her With Respect
HOLLYWOOD, CA—An unnamed actress has come forward and accused outspoken Christian actor Kirk Cameron of treating her with respect and dignity—the seventh one in recent weeks—reports confirmed Monday. (MORE)
TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
Roy Moore On Pedophilia Accusers: ‘These Women Are Only Discrediting Me Now Because Shifting Sociocultural Norms Have Created An…
MONTGOMERY, AL—Waving off the current allegations against him as vicious attempts to sabotage his election bid, Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore told reporters Monday that the women accusing him of pedophilia were only doing so now because “shifting sociocultural norms have created an environment…(MORE)
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 299. There Are Now Only 1,085 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.
