FRIDAY, JULY 28, 2023
TRUMP’S NINE-HUNDRED-AND-NINETEENTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND LET’S ALL WATCH THE NEW AD FROM TEAM TRUMP
This week, everybody who thinks Obama really stepped in it way back when he said “If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen,” e-mailed entries to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is Marty Mocker, who says he really likes watching the way Obama sounded really stupid every time he went off his teleprompter.
Marty wins a picture suitable for framing of his signature on Obama’s Birthday Card, multiple fake IDs so he can vote against the Hamilton County D-RATS’ Tax Hike early-and-often, and his name added to the DemocRATS Sucker List so he might win a Hillary in Prison Bumper Sticker, in case Trump’s DOJ ever gets its act together and actually indicts that Lying Bitch. His winning Limerick is:
Here’s who to thank when you succeed:
You can skip over those with a leftist creed;
And don’t count those who always sleep late,
Or those who sit in cars and masturbate.
“Early to bed and early to rise” is the only rule you need.
So who can you thank when you succeed?
Don’t listen to those liberal hearts that bleed,
Forget presidents from Kenya,
And government handouts that demean ya.
Thank the Lord Almighty; of Him only take heed.
And from the Anderson Laureate (who says, “Can you believe this guy wasn’t ever impeached?”)
Here’s who to thank when you succeed
It’s the Kenyan we elected to lead
If you succeed here or in Japan
Somebody else made that happen
(I think that socialist has been smoking weed)
The Dems are seriously vexed
Claiming Barak was taken out of context
But he said what he said
They should get that through their head
What kind of lies will they try to sell next?
I guess Henry Ford did nothing on his own
And Bell had help inventing the phone
Bill Gates was a fake
Betty Crocker didn’t bake
Obama’s ideology makes me groan
Now Here’s Perturbed in Park Hill’s Super Sonnet
Here’s who to thank when you succeed,
When from PC madness you’ve been freed.
All those dead white males who’ve gone before,
The Prophets, the Church, the Captains of War,
The business tycoons, the builders of ships,
The stockbrokers who gave you such great tips.
Edison, Ford and Peter the Great,
Lepanto and the Muslim checkmate.
The Wright Brothers and Isaac Newton
(Whose mind was rather highfalutin.)
Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Mozart and Bach,
Whose secrets we still strive to unlock.
But now every DemocRAT and dyke
Would put these heroes’ heads on a pike.
Sticking their noses up each other’s butts
Is the pride of this collection of nuts.
So farewell, Lenin, Stalin and Mao:
We’re putting our shoulders to the plough.
Your cultural revolution is off.
Our past we honor; at you, merely scoff.
Finally, Tomas de Torquemada Says
Here’s who to thank when you succeed:
Not your employers and their greed.
Not your teachers who bend genders.
Not your doctors, the drug vendors.
Not your friends, who tell you “get vaxxed!”
Not Big Brother, by whom you’re taxed.
Not the D-RATS, they’re full of lies.
Not the RINOs, they’re compromised.
Not George Soros, the road to hell.
The truth’s one thing he’ll never tell.
Not Klaus Schwab, the peddler of bugs.
Not Antifa, that group of thugs.
Not Zelenskyy, that Deep State prop –
Have you ever seen such a flop?
But you CAN thank your Mom and Dad
Whose cisgender values are trad.
They’re the ones who said “wrong ain’t right,”
Their castle defied leftist blight.
So make your own castle like theirs
And you will be sanity’s heirs.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“How many lies did Obama tell?”
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