MANHATTAN, NY — Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg has announced a brilliant new plan to get Trump elected President in 2024.
“I will stop at absolutely nothing to put Trump back in the White House where he belongs,” said Mr. Bragg. “I’m about to charge up his base like you’ve never seen!”
Mr. Bragg had carefully waited until the moment he could give Trump the biggest political boost to push forward with an indictment. “Check and mate, libs,” laughed Mr. Bragg as he pulled on a MAGA hat. “I’ve already put in my request to be Trump’s Transportation Secretary, I hear it’s super easy. 2024, here we come!”
After lawyers of every political allegiance agreed there was no criminal case against Trump over hush money paid during his 2016 campaign, Mr. Bragg knew taking the hopeless case was his big chance. “The optics of Democrats indicting, even handcuffing Trump on charges that have no chance of sticking – what more could the Trump campaign ask for?” said MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow. “Mr. Bragg might be the most brilliant Republican strategist this century. He’s playing chess while the rest of us are out here playing checkers.”
At publishing time, Governor Ron DeSantis was wondering what sort of crime he needed to be indicted for to keep pace with Trump.
SATURDAY, MARCH 18, 2023
TRUMP’S SEVEN-HUNDRED-AND-EIGHTY-SEVENTH-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
Every Woke Company Diversity Meeting Ever
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
A guy we’ll call “Trichinosis Tadwell” wanted to ask Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how many Pork Project Applications from D-RAT Donors PELOSI’S BOY TOY received before the 5 p.m. deadline last Friday, March 17 so he can select 15 Pork Projects in Ohio’s First Congressional District to submit to the Congressional Pork Committee for consideration.
“Earmarking Pork Projects was banned by Conservatives a decade ago after high-profile cases of corruption were exposed,” Kane explained. “Unfortunately, earmarks are making a big return in Illegitimate Resident Joke Biden’s appropriations package and DISINGENUOUS D-RATS are all doing their part.” 
NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORT
Gannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President. 
Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles 
Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the next 598 (at press time) days before the 2024 elections.
