THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 01
TRUMP’S FIVE-HUNDRED-AND-EIGHTY-NINTH-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S SATIRICAL WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
Exclusive Scene From The Rings Of Power
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
THE ONION
Brought to you by Patriot Mobile:
If you’re reading this you’re probably feeling pretty white and guilty right about now. Never fear! We’ve got some great tips to help you cleanse your shame and live your best life today! And even if you aren’t white, you’ve probably been infected with a few pounds of whiteness that you need to drop.
Follow these tips to drop that white guilt like it’s hot:
1. When you play pickup basketball, always let the black guys win: We know you could school them, but take it easy.
2. Paint your face black to honor your African American allies: Follow Justin Trudeau’s excellent example.
3. Allow indigenous tribes who originally owned your land to camp out in your tool shed any time they want: Make sure your tool shed is OSHA compliant to avoid lawsuits.
4. Throw out your mayonnaise and mild hot sauce: You must repudiate the ways of the white man.
5. Get “1619” tattooed on your forearm: However, you’ll have to stop flexing while saying, “Welcome to the gun show!” Words are violence.
6. Punch a white guy: Your black friends will now know you’re an ally.
7. When you see a black person at the grocery store, ask him to forgive you for generational oppression: If he agrees to forgive you, explain that it was a trick question and forgiveness actually “perpetuates whiteness”, then offer to educate him so he can do better.
8. Find a Mexican person and ask for permission anytime you want to go to Taco Bell: Do NOT ask them if their Abuela invented the Mexican Pizza.
9. If you see an African American in danger DO NOT HELP THEM: You don’t want to be labeled a white savior.
Wow! What great tips! I can feel the pounds of white guilt melting away!
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NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORT
Gannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President.
Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
THE US NATIONAL DEBT
LOCAL TRUMPSTERS ARE GETTING READY FOR NEXT WEEK’S RALLY IN WILKES-BARRE PENNSYLVANIA
IT’S ONLY 558 MILES 
GET TICKETS HERE— FBI’S STAGED PHOTO OF ALLEGEDLY CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS SHOWS GLARING HYPOCRISY —
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles 
Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the 68 DAYS BEFORE THIS YEAR’S MID-TERM ELECTIONS ON NOVEMBER 08 unless they’re postponed.
