TUESDAY, JULY 12
TRUMP’S FIVE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-EIGHTH-DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND HERE’S SOMETHING YOU WON’T SEE ON THE NIGHTLY NEWS
— TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO —
Most SHOCKING Revelations From The Hunter Biden Leak
Satirical Web Pages Are Not Just For Laughs And They Show A Focused Picture Of How People Are Reacting To The News Of The Day.
Satire matters for more than one reason, but its main goal is to raise awareness about the current state of affairs and challenge their viewpoints by using humor and irony. It helps us confront the unpleasant reality and see the world as it is so that we can improve it.
The entire contents of Hunter Biden’s laptop, iphone, and ipad have been leaked to the public. How embarrassing! The Babylon Bee team spent all night scrolling through 4chan threads last night and we checked into therapy this morning.
Here are the 12 most shocking and humiliating revelations from Hunter’s laptop:
- His desktop was covered with over 200 icons: And his recycling bin had never been emptied. Gross!
- His default search engine was set to Bing: The smartest man Joe Biden knows? It would appear not!
- The email app had over 1,038,202 unread emails: The mark of a psychopath.
- He’s watched Netflix’s Cuties over 1,200 times: Perfectly normal behavior. Nothing to see here.
- The hard drive contained multiple copies of Shrek the 3rd: This just gets worse and worse.
- He never finished installing Covenant Eyes internet filter: He could have avoided all this trouble.
- He had 5,276 browser tabs still open: They were all porn.
- The Candy Crushapp only shows him at level 6: But he’s completed Barbie’s Magic Hairstyler several times and unlocked all the achievements.
- He paid for over 19 years of Norton, and never turned it on: Thankfully, that bill was paid by a Chinese firm who also ensured it was never turned on.
- He always “replied all” on emails: And always remembered to cc the “Big Guy.”
- GPS data shows he spends several dozen hours at Chuck E Cheese per week: Nothing suspicious about that!
- The FBI is probably at his door right now to arrest him for drug dealing and underage sex trafficking: Oh — they aren’t? Huh. Maybe they’re just really busy today.
NOW…LET’S COMPARE OUR OBVIOUS POLITICAL PARODIES WITH THIS ACTUAL WASHINGTON POST REPORTGannett ordered our local Morning Fishwrap to roll back op-eds after “repelling readers” with biased articles
• Readers didn’t want to be told what to do or how to think
• They were perceived as having a ‘biased agenda’ so Readers were canceling subscriptions
• The company is decreasing its editorial output and even scaling back cartoons
• The newspapers will no longer make political endorsements beyond a local level, like when The Fishwrap endorsed Crooked Hillary For President.
Can You Tell If This Is The Real Story?
THE US NATIONAL DEBT
— MAKE AMERICA GREAT UPDATE —
DRIVING TO TRUMP’S SAVE AMERICA RALLY IN PRESCOTT VALLEY ARIZONA IN ONLY 26 HOURS GET TICKETS HERE
The Whistleblower Newswire Is Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop crusade for Election Integrity and against Coordinated Leftist Insurrection and the Devolution of Our American Culture while Congress, the Deep State, and the Radical Media Establishment continue to lie to advance their Coordinated Leftist Agenda.
But first, we must see a Corleone Political Reckoning on Election Integrity Along With Indictments And Perp Walks For Laws Broken During The Illegal 2020 Presidential Election, without which nothing else really matters.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda is watching to see if any progress is made during the 119 DAYS BEFORE THIS YEAR’S MID-TERM ELECTIONS ON NOVEMBER 08 unless they’re postponed.