TODAY IS
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2020
TRUMP’S 1091st DAY IN OFFICE
WITH AMERICA NOW SUFFERING THROUGH “TRUMP’S E-DAY + 08”

With A Stop At Walgreens For Some Much-Needed Beano

Mess Call was 1730 this evening for members of the Anderson Veterans Society of all races, creeds, and sexual orientations on the Sixth Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl.

The Breakfast Brigade began at 0530 outside Ohio Second District Congressman’s “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup’s Office located at 7954 PFC James Miller IV and Staff Sergeant Richard T. Pummill Memorial Highway (aka Beechmont Avenue), so Anderson Veterans could visit every one of the 487 area restaurants in Anderson and the surrounding tri-state areas offering Free Food for Veterans on Veterans Day 2016, Bob Evans (Hotcakes, brioche French toast, and the country biscuit breakfast), IHOP (Red, White & Blue Pancakes, which come with glazed strawberries (red), blueberry compote (blue), and whipped cream (white), Denny’s (Build Your Own Grand Slam®), and White Castle (Breakfast Combo).

Mess Call was 1200 for this afternoon’s Grub Crawl Tour with many more area restaurants offering free food for Veterans, with a quick stop at Great Clips to pick up coupons for Free Haircuts for Veterans that have to be used before the end of the year.

Dinner on tonight’s Seventh Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl included complimentary appetizers at both Carrabba’s Italian Grill and Red Lobster; a special entrée on the house at Hooters, if you know what we mean; a free Blooming Onion appetizer and beverage at the Outback Steakhouse; and for a really special dessert, we couldn’t go home without some of that Double Chocolate Fudge Coca-Cola Cake at Cracker Barrel, that we planned to save for a midnight snack.  Meanwhile, that ever-popular special sit-down dinner, free of charge at Golden Corral is scheduled for Monday night.

This year, because of Governor DeWhine’s restrictions, Anderson Veterans were not able to pig out on Veterans Day at the Patriot Center, 6660 Clough Pike, where the Anderson Township Veterans Memorial Committee provided a complimentary dinner, cash bar and live entertainment. Dinner would’ve again been provided by Belterra and Desserts would’ve once again been donated by Mt. Washington Care Center.

Tonight’s veterans dinner would’ve again featured a Missing Man Table, also known as the Fallen Comrade Table, which is a semi-official place of honor in some dining facilities of the US armed forces in memory of fallen, missing in action, or prisoner of war military service-members.  That table serves as the focal point of ceremonial remembrance, originally growing out of US concern of the Vietnam War POW/MIAs.

Highlight of tonight’s dinner would’ve been an after-dinner visit by a quartet of very funny headliners from The Veterans of Comedy— that group of military veterans and veteran comedians who’ve chosen to represent and support talented veterans who desire to share their gifts with the world. Their stated mission is to use laughter as a tool to create and foster bonds between Veterans and their communities. They partner with organizations and groups who provide resources and education to transitioning Vets. Through performances at military institutions, comedy clubs, casinos, and theaters worldwide, they are able to demonstrate the power of laughter as a method for coping and connecting.

And speaking of jokes, Amused Andersonians couldn’t stop laughing about that Feckless Fishwrappers report of a professor who teaches a class on trolling and social media actually being elected to Forest Hills school board. No kidding!

SPEAKING OF PATRIOTIC: Veterans at a previous Veterans Day Dinner at the Anderson Center were so gratified reading all those hand-written thank-you notes from those cute little area elementary school children, this year organizers wanted to see if some of the high school honor students at Anderson and Turpin could show how much they’ve learned during their years of piolitical brainwashing in the Forrest Hills School System.

A Turpin Sophomore wrote: “Thank you for your service to our countrie. I always think of you when I look at the flag. Have a great day. Happy veteran’s day.” —Sincerely, Melissa; An Anderson Junior wrote: “Thank you for serving our country. We are thankfull for your service. Thanks for being brave. Happy Veterans Day. —Your Friend, Zack”; And our Turpin Valedictorian wrote” Thank you for your service to this country. Your service let me and my firneds go for to school. I have freedom because of you. You made a commitment to let people be free and be able to vote. I thank you for your service. —Sincerely, Grace.” 94-year-old A.J. Hammond, the oldest veteran in attendance, said, “Grace will go far. She really knows how to suck up.”

Note: the reason all of these hand-written letters were printed is because cursive is no longer taught in the Forrest Hills School District, where dumbed-down voters previously approved that humongous $103 million Tax Hike Scam (that will really cost $170 million on top of the thousands of dollars in school taxes property owners were already paying).

And not enough low-information voters figured out how much that year’s Tax Hike Scam would be costing them. Didn’t any of them look at his property tax bill to see how much they were already paying for school taxes? You’d think there’d be no way we’d see so many stupid voters.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Charles Foster Kane about his personal patriotic message on Veterans Day. No, it wasn’t just by driving the bus on the Sixth Annual Veterans Day Grub Crawl, where Anderson Veterans could visit every one of the 487 area restaurants offering Free Food for Veterans, but our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher tried to send a patriotic message to the anti-Trumpers and Disagreeable D-RATS with Trump Derangement Syndrome by hanging a large American flag above his driveway. Others Kane wanted to send a patriotic message to included rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, horn-swagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists.”

REMEMBER: If you can’t improve on the news, you shouldn’t even be reporting it.