Official “Post Presidents’ Day Depression” E-dition

Header-February 17 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 21, 2017       

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers    

image005image006According to Whistleblower Lexicographer Funkin’ Wagnalls, the proper spelling for yesterday’s invented holiday is Presidents’ Day,” not President’s Day or Presidents Day.” —Sidney Spellchecker

image006Please tell Sidney correct spelling is irrelevant in today’s graduate’s from public screwel’s.  Everybody now know’s that almost any and every “s” at the end of a word should be preceded by an apostrophe.  Look around.  It’s used car’s, a sale on TV’s, three taco’s for two dollar’s, three suit’s free with the purchase of one (at JOE-seff A. Bank), etc.  Want frie’s with that?  Or would it be spelled, Want fry’s with that? Whatever! —Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin

image006I much preferred it when the nation celebrated Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays separately, before Congress opted to change that practice for a three-day weekend.  But much more I preferred it when our Presidents were proud to uphold the dignity of the office – before President Obama embarrassed himself (without realizing it) and us with his Buzzfeed video.  May the Good Lord help us! —Bob McConnell, The Guy Who Sends You All Those Conservative Cartoons

image010image006Why didn’t The Blower just wish everybody a happy patri-idiotic Washington- Adams- Jefferson- Madison- Monroe- Adams- Jackson- Van Buren- Harrison- Tyler- Polk- Taylor- Fillmore- Pierce- Buchanan- Lincoln- Johnson- Grant- Hayes- Garfield- Arthur- Cleveland- Harrison- McKinley- Roosevelt- Taft-Wilson- Harding- Coolidge- Hoover- Roosevelt- Truman- Eisenhower- Kennedy- Johnson- Nixon- Ford- Carter- Reagan- Bush 41- Clinton- Bush 43-Obama-Trump Day? —Whistleblower Presidential Historian Dorian Grady

image006If you’re going to insist on always using “Bush 41” and “Bush 43,” then you must also use “Adams 2” and “Adams 6,” “Harrison 9” and “Harrison 24,” “Johnson 17” and “Johnson 36,”  and “Roosevelt 26” and “Roosevelt 32.” —Nerdly Nitpicker

image006Yesterday we just wished everybody Happy “Barack Obama is the Only President We Will Ever Care About” Day. —Obama Supporters in the Press

image008image006During last year’s Presidents’ Day Weekend, over-taxed payers treated Obama to another well-deserved weekend golfing vacation while The Mooch doubled the cost with her separate over-taxed-payer-funded holiday in Aspen. —The Obamas for Divided Marriages America

image006Here’s some good news: Only one in five companies with fewer than 500 employees say they are “likely” or “very likely” to discontinue company-provided healthcare coverage within five years. Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19

image013image006Thanks for telling all your Persons of Consequence that the easiest most elementary tasks of party leadership is securing a candidate. Any candidate.Failing in the that……everything else about party significance becomes immaterial/irrelevant. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP

image006Please don’t ask how Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS could reconcile their objections to the GOP position not to vote on his Supreme Court nominee when Senator Obama and I supported a filibuster against Bush nominee, Samuel Alito. —Dishonest DemocRAT Senate Minority Leader Up-Chuck Schumer

image006Actually, I was not the first person to use obscenities in American politics. —Donald Fucking Trump

image006Not all of the women my husband cheated on me with claimed he told them I was a Lesbian. —Hillary

image006If I had won, it would’ve been the first time a Jewish family moved into public housing that was left vacant by a black family. —Bernie Sanders

image006What do you think will happen when I show up at the White House on Friday? —Delusional Ohio Governor John Kasich

image006Does anybody remember last year when the Clermont County Republican Party was considering un-endorsing me? —Ohio Second District Podiatrist/ Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup

image006Last week State Rep. John Becker of Union Township in Clermont County introduced a “right to work” bill intended at damaging Ohio’s public sector unions, so this year I decided to do the same thing for private sector unions. —“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman

image006Does anybody remember the last time we set up one of our biased televised debates between “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman and whoever was running against him? —League of Women Vipers

image006How many Stupid Protesters do you think will show up when I address the Northern Kentucky and Cincinnati Chambers of Commerce on Thursday at Hotel Covington where guests will dine on their choice of buttermilk fried chicken or seared Atlantic salmon? —Bitch McConnell


All day on Presidents’ Day, the Cronies were waiting to see if Monday’s big snow scare would affect tonight’s long-awaited Lincoln Reagan Uible Day Dinner featuring Kentucky Senator Rand Paul. —Clermont County Republicans

image014image006It’s truly an honor to be among this year’s finalists with Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane for the Ebony and Ivory Racial Healing Awards during Black History Month, now last year was called Half-Black History Month in honor of the current resident at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.  —Buckwheat Blackwell

image006Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. —The Seediest Kids of All

image006We think we deserve more credit. —United Appall People

image006We’re currently investigating that curious similarity between Saturday’s Patronage County column entitled “Be My Valentine” published 33 years ago and Thursday’s “Valentine’s Daze” E-dition. —Freddie Factchecker

image015image006We can hardly wait for all the news coverage of this year’s Mardi Gras celebration.  —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

image006It was so tame last year, our “Girls Gone Wild at Mardi Gras” tape could turn out to be a real bust. —Mainstrasse Merchants

image006You know you love Mardi Gras too much if you wake up in court with your pants on backwards. —Archie Wilson

image006We were even going to run a special “Mardi Gras” edition of our “This Week in Kenton Circuit Court” Newsletter, but nothing exciting happened. —Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders

image017image006Did you know Mardi Gras means “Fat Tuesday?” —Weight Gainers 

image006Does anybody at Channel 5 remember when I used to call Fat Tuesday e-Norma’s Tuesday? —Quisling Charlie Luken

image006Did you know when you translate “Mardi Gras,” it means “Fat Mardi.” —Goof Doofus

image006I keep dreaming about Mardi Gras Night at a casino. —Bluegrass Governor Steve BeShear

image006I keep dreaming about our DemocRAT Dominatrix dressed only in beads. —Rick “The Batboy” Robinson

image019image006Whenever I throw beads at slutty girls, they always throw them back. —Will “The Thrill” Terwort

image006Did they do anything special for Mardi Gras at Golden Corral? —Clueless Marc Wilson

image006For some of us, every Tuesday is “Fat Tuesday.”  —Scott “Pass the Biscuits” Kimmich

image006You can’t imagine how much drinking goes on at Mardi Gras. —Michael Liquid Plummer and Nathan “Cornbread” Smith

image006When will The Blower start counting down till BB&BJ Day? —Horny in Hebron

I just got done reading the new Sports Illustrated “Swimsuit Edition,” but only for the articles.
Your Good Friend Bobby Leach  

image006What articles? —Ex-Citizens for Community Values President Phil Burr-Ass


The guys at the station tell me I should be on the Swimsuit Edition? —TV 19’s Lingerie-Model-Turned-Reporter-Turned-Anchorbimbo Tricia “Leemarie” Macke

image006I quit WXIX-TV to embark on the most ambitious independent journalism project in history and make the Truth in Media project a reality.You’ll never guess where I’m working today. —Ben Swann

image029Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially SWIMSUIT PHOTOGRAPHERS.

image003More Presidents’ Day E-Cards


image003  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer

   Sometimes The Blower makes fun of Mardi Gras to show that women who bare their breasts in public for a few crummy beads will not be tolerated in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a real slut.


          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental — especially guys who throw the beads.  


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Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers.



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